Partner asked me how much money I have

[DPsavings]

Should I be honest?

DP and I have been together nearly 18 months and tonight we talked about finances and how we are for credit/savings

I have no debt except a 30% mortgage on my house and about 80k in savings (which would pay off the mortgage should I wish to).
I have a decent defined benefit pension.

Don’t know why but I just feel a bit sketchy about sharing this. AIBU?

8 pages in and the Op hasn't replied.

Why anyone would add a stranger to their deeds is beyond me. Utterly Batshit.

Do not add him to your mortgage. Do not let him have any claim on your house. He can move in side and contribute towards bills but that house is yours and yours alone…

mazzle not any 18 months either ! Met and ‘woo’d’ during pandemic and little ‘normal’ life possibly. All very strange.

It’s your own personal information, no need to tell anyone.
And ring fence it if you get married.

I don't think there's any harm in discussing money at thi stage. Having the same approach to spending/saving is absolutely critical in a successful relationship.

However, what the others have said with regard to mortgage or giving him access to finances. And you don't have to say exact amounts, just say you don't have debts and have some savings for a rainy day.

Trust nobody and when money is involved, trust nobody even more so.

Trust your gut - it's none of his business,

Surely if he's being added to your mortgage the only person whose savings are relevant are his - because he should be giving you half the value.

I don't think you should plan to live with someone who you don't feel comfortable discussing your financial situation with.

I knew that my partner had money saved and he knew I didn’t really but until we were buying a house together a few years down the line ) and I’d saved we didn’t know exact amounts. We aren’t married now 11 years together and don’t share finances I don’t know his exact bank statements or him mine. Not hidden from each other though.

You can have a relationship without living together.

Please don't mingle your finances like this without taking very good legal advice.

I don’t think it would be a good idea to add him to your mortgage.

OH MY GOD, DO NOT ADD HIM TO THE MORTGAGE!

To me he is a massive red flag.

His motives are money.

He will always be like this.
Financial abuser.

Leave him.

Some of these posts are either satire or plain crazy off the back of two posts with minimal info 🤣

@BlondeDogLady

8 pages in and the Op hasn't replied.

Why anyone would add a stranger to their deeds is beyond me. Utterly Batshit.

Maybe it is not what she wanted to hear.

@Cosmos123, that's a massive leap. You have literally no proof of this. He could just have been making conversation, trying to work out what the best thing would be to do. The OP hasn't told us enough to know anything.

Echoing pp... Please don't, under any circumstances add him to your mortgage, apart from anything else you've been paying it, he has not! Do not tell him about the 80k either .. it's none of his business and I can't see why he wants to know, apart from asking if you're in debt which is reasonable he has no reason to know you have savings like that. He careful op, it's been 18 months not years.

I've just seen your thinking of adding him to the mortgage. Are you fucking mad op ? You must be or blinded by love, jesus christ there is no telling some people.
He will absolutely leave you desolate and potentially homeless. You've known him hardly any time at all .
But if you still won't listen and do it all anyway just make sure you get good legal advice and everything is iron clad.

@userxx

Nope, it's not his business. My oh has no idea what I've got and I'm keeping it that way.

Same here. Married 15 years.

What is he bringing to the table? Must be so tricky starting later in life . Me and dh had nothing between us when we started out! 🙈

I fully agree that adding him to your mortgage while unmarried if he hasn’t paid into the house is bonkers. HOWEVER the double standards on here are laughable. There have been countless threads where a man is torn to pieces because the girlfriend posts that he won’t put her on the mortgage etc. Of course it’s different if you’re married or if the woman (or man) has given up a lucrative career to have children and care for them but there are so many cases where that’s just not the case, the woman just seems to expect the man to provide her with security and MN is always on her side. It’s quite astounding reading some of the posts on this thread e.g. ‘why should he get to piggyback onto your home ownership’ ….Ive literally never seen a woman on here who wants a slice of the man’s assets be accused of piggybacking her way to home ownership Even where the woman has always earned a pittance it seems to be accepted that she has a right to half of everything the man has just because she has had a baby. The assumption is always there that if she hadn’t had that baby she would be on six figures as a banker by now. I’m all for women looking after themselves financially just how men usually do but honestly, it needs to work both ways!!

Also the OP hasn’t said that he won’t pay into the house or that he doesn’t have significant assets of his own to bring to the table, everyone is assuming he’s a cocklodger. He may well be but at this point it’s just assumption as the Op hasn’t given enough facts.

Just seen about adding him to mortgage. Don't.

Hell to the no! Don’t put him on the mortgage either.

Look the best thing a woman can do is what you've already achieved. Financial independence.

Don't ruin that.

This

Going off on a complete tangent Op…get some financial advice
With interest rates low, way below inflation which is rising and at it highest for years, and property prices increasing, it may not make financial sense to not pay off your mortgage with your savings if they are being held in cash especially…...