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AIBU?

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Original poster

Odd text message from partner

447 replies

OtherNameblahblah · 25/01/2022 16:11

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

OP posts:
Jedsnewstar · 25/01/2022 17:21

Also I don't think he'd be waiting at Stonehenge for anyone - you can't actually go into it and right up to Stonehenge, there's a visitors centre to go through and tickets etc.

Second this. Waiting at Stonehenge would be a stranger thing to say. I’m at the visitor centre would be more plausible, since if you were meeting someone there it would be pre arranged. I wouldn’t arrange to meet someone at a specific place say Hyde park. Then say I’m waiting for you at Hyde park- the person would know. It would be I’m here or at the front gate or by the big tree next to the guy with a blue jumper touching himself…..

Hoolihan · 25/01/2022 17:21

I would assume the stay in London is to see a friend, save money and/or break up a long journey. And I quite often forget things my H has told me he's doing, especially if work related. OP I honestly think you're being paranoid but you obviously don't think much of him tbh.

MrsWarleggan · 25/01/2022 17:21

Not odd. I wave at the Angel of the North everytime I go to Newcastle.....I also say goodbye on the way back down! 😳🤣

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 25/01/2022 17:21

@OtherNameblahblah

I think it's the way it was worded - wouldn't you say something like 'I'm at Stonehenge and just waved!' It just really feels like it's structured in such a way that he meant 'I'm waiting at Stonehenge for you'...

He's just messaged again saying that a car just stopped dead in front of him on the dual carriageway... deflection?

I'm absolutely prepared to be called paranoid - but my gut is definitely dropping as I think about it. But what can I do?

Are you absolutely sure he hasn't arranged to go and walk the dog with somebody, too?
Enterthedragons · 25/01/2022 17:22

I think it sounds fine, you seem massively paranoid!

SallyWD · 25/01/2022 17:22

Op - the structure of the sentence is completely normal. I would also say "I'm waving at Stone Henge for you". That's how I would structure that sentence. As a PP said if he was meeting someone there he'd just say "I'm here" or "I'm waiting" not "I'm waiting at Stonehenge for you" THAT would be a really odd sentence for someone who knows exactly where they're meeting. Do you have other reasons to be suspicious because I can't see any reason for suspicion here?

KurtWilde · 25/01/2022 17:23

And I also would have changed the subject if I'd have received a response like yours!

Same. Not because I'm guilty of anything but because I'd think you were being a bit silly.

My exh used to try and read things into my messages that simply weren't there, then if I changed the subject it was somehow an indication of guilt Hmm

Anyway.. OP has he ever given you reason not to trust him? Because that will make all the difference to the responses you get here.

And fwiw I think you're being a bit silly, unless there's some massive backstory.

Kinneddar · 25/01/2022 17:23

I think it's the way it was worded - wouldn't you say something like 'I'm at Stonehenge and just waved!' It just really feels like it's structured in such a way that he meant 'I'm waiting at Stonehenge for you

But by the sounds of it he wasn't at it, he was passing. If I was passing a landmark I wouldn't say I was at it. Stonehenge really isn't the type of place you'd meet someone you were having an affair with either

We're all wavers in my family 😳

Unless there's a backstory you haven't mentioned then you're massively over thinking it.

YourVagesty · 25/01/2022 17:23

It's tough OP because it's the kind of thing I would say, but for others it might be totally weird.

Also, gut instincts can be wrong. DH texted me a selfie when he was away with work when we first got together. He was wearing the same t shirt I'd just put in the wash.

I was hugely paranoid that the selfie wasn't taken 'in the moment' (how could it be? The t shirt was in the washing machine at home) and figured he was up to no good. Was convinced. Until he walked in wearing said t shirt.

Turns out he'd just bought two of the same design because they were on offer Grin

So my anguish and conviction that he was up to no good was completely misplaced.

It can happen and I hope your alarm bells are similarly misplaced.

oldwhyno · 25/01/2022 17:24

I think you should phone him up tomorrow, explain and apologise. He has a right to know how paranoid you are.

Hugasauras · 25/01/2022 17:24

That would be a totally normal conversation for us! Outside of some absurd romcom made by people who have never been to Britain, who waits at Stonehenge for a romantic tryst in Jan?!

Think your reaction is more telling, especially as you had been chatting together before this happened so no reason to think the message wasn't for you, unless you have a reason to suspect something.

gunnersgold · 25/01/2022 17:24

I'd wave at Stonehenge but you know him 🤷‍♀️

MrsWarleggan · 25/01/2022 17:24

@ToTheCrystalDome

Oh how I loved that thread 🤣🤣

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 25/01/2022 17:24

If I was ‘on and off’ with someone for two years, I’d definitely be jumping to conclusions, too.

KurtWilde · 25/01/2022 17:24

@MrsWarleggan

Not odd. I wave at the Angel of the North everytime I go to Newcastle.....I also say goodbye on the way back down! 😳🤣
Hello, fellow waver at the Angel of the North Grin
StampOnIt · 25/01/2022 17:24

Another one to whom this sounds like a perfectly normal turn of phrase.

If we drive past the junction to my parent's for example, I'd say 'wave to granny and grandad'.

He just meant he was driving past a well known landmark, you weren't there to see it with him, so he gave it a wave for you. I wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.

grapewine · 25/01/2022 17:25

Are you absolutely sure he hasn't arranged to go and walk the dog with somebody, too?

The horror of it!

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 25/01/2022 17:25

@oldwhyno

I think you should phone him up tomorrow, explain and apologise. He has a right to know how paranoid you are.
She’s probably ‘paranoid’ because they’ve been ‘on and off’ for two years.

I wonder what that’s about.

StampOnIt · 25/01/2022 17:26

@MrsWarleggan

Not odd. I wave at the Angel of the North everytime I go to Newcastle.....I also say goodbye on the way back down! 😳🤣
Yes, I wave at the Angel of the North too!
NotTerfNorCis · 25/01/2022 17:27

If he was driving past Stonehenge, he might have waved at it? Sounds like a joky, flippant thing someone might say.

PuppyMonkey · 25/01/2022 17:27

Blimey, I'm sorry this has thrown you into such complete turmoil OP. I think it's more likely he just saw Stonehenge and got excited and waved and said that's what he was doing to Whatsapp.

I mean I don't think it's a well-know thing you must do when you pass or anything. Grin But I don't think it is a hideously odd thing and completely unheard of either.

Flingingmelon · 25/01/2022 17:27

I think it's kind of sweet actually.

But you have to ask yourself why you've jumped to a negative conclusion

AryaStarkWolf · 25/01/2022 17:28

It is so a thing. I wave at rugby grounds for DH, he waves at horses for me.

I believe you, I've just never heard anyone doing that Grin

miltonj · 25/01/2022 17:28

I don't think stone henge is a very accessible meeting point?!

You're reading too much into it, he's being friendly and quirky. You say he's a great guy and have never doubted him, I don't think this comment warrants that changing.

Youcunnyfunt · 25/01/2022 17:28

Today? It wasn't that misty...

But I have heard of people waving at Stonehenge. For the hell of it. There is no where to park close to Stonehenge apart from their car park, so would he really have stopped and bought tickets? To then wait for someone else?

On that basis alone, I would say it's probably more likely he is literally just waving at it. Do you live close by (or is it a novelty)?