Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Odd text message from partner

447 replies

OtherNameblahblah · 25/01/2022 16:11

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 25/01/2022 17:28

@eejervis

Where would you wait for somebody at stonehenge? Waving at it sounds far more likely
Indeed, not a meeting point at all. But yes a landmark site you can see from a boring old A road with lots of traffic jams.

It’s a definite oh look Stonehenge road. I doubt her waved.

Being on and off is more of a problem.

MrsWarleggan · 25/01/2022 17:29

@KurtWilde @StampOnit 👋 🤣

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when I say it!

MsAgnesDiPesto · 25/01/2022 17:29

It’s a perfectly normal message, OP.

Last admissions to Stonehenge are at 3pm.

Has he given you reason to feel that he isn’t being faithful? If not,then this is unnecessary paranoia.

nadgersbadgers · 25/01/2022 17:29

I have said exactly the same thing as he. You're over thinking

Blueuggboots · 25/01/2022 17:29

When I'm on a long road trip alone, I often message my partner to comment on things I've seen.
I think you're massively overthinking it, unless you've got reason to worry?

Echobelly · 25/01/2022 17:29

I think you have to look at what's most likely.

That your partner sent you a whimsical messages concerning the fact he'd driven past Stonehenge

Or:

He's decided to have an assignation with a mystery person at Stonehenge, but accidentally sent you a message that was supposed to be 'Waiting for you at Stonehenge', which would be quite odd because if you were waiting for someone you'd probably be more specific like 'I'm in the gift shop', 'I'm by the entrance to the visitor centre'. It's not exactly a place for a tryst?! Confused

Freecuthbert · 25/01/2022 17:29

Come on OP, I'm waiting for the dripfeed of a massive backstop to explain your paranoia.

Who the fuck would be shagging at Stonehenge anyway? It's not a dogging spot surely, it's Stonehenge!?

Santahasjoinedww · 25/01/2022 17:30

The thing is if the op doesn't recognise it as a gesture then maybe someone else does. Why would he make it to someone who didn't 'get' it?

Freecuthbert · 25/01/2022 17:30

*backstory

Youcunnyfunt · 25/01/2022 17:32

Just saw your update. It's like a 2mile walk from the car park to the stones, so why would he stop enroute from Devon to Cambridge, to walk for minimum of 4 miles for some clandestine meet up? It would take up too much time, surely? It would add at least an hour to his journey, even with a short ticket queue.

I'm a suspicious person, but I really don't think he stopped there!

Rewis · 25/01/2022 17:32

Stonehenge is a shitty place to meet for a hook up. That said, I can understand why it feels a bit odd when it's added to the fact that he claims to have told you about the course but you can't remember that. Do you know the friend he is staying with? Is there a reasons to be suspicious?

RubyKitty · 25/01/2022 17:33

Yep that’s something I would do. I still shout windmill when I see one and my kids are 18 & 21! Like pp have said it’s the course being sprung on you that’s giving you your doubts, but there are obviously trust issues. Maybe try FaceTime later and see his reaction

Classica · 25/01/2022 17:33

@Freecuthbert

Come on OP, I'm waiting for the dripfeed of a massive backstop to explain your paranoia.

Who the fuck would be shagging at Stonehenge anyway? It's not a dogging spot surely, it's Stonehenge!?

Mystical doggers. Druid doggers if you will.
SpeckledlyHen · 25/01/2022 17:34

@gobbledygoook

I say this to my partner! When he's travelling and goes past landmarks he does the same.

Also I don't think he'd be waiting at Stonehenge for anyone - you can't actually go into it and right up to Stonehenge, there's a visitors centre to go through and tickets etc.

Agreed..

However, there is a huge service station and retail type park (or is it a commercial industrial estate? can't remember) at Stonehenge on the A303..

Vloggamamma · 25/01/2022 17:35

Seems odd like he would be texting someone else - why don't you pretend you're on your way over to him to surprise him, see what his reaction is. What's the course for ? Where is it , can you look up the details online or is he fobbing you off. I would have a ton of questions , sod that !

Santahasjoinedww · 25/01/2022 17:35

Droggers then?

UniBallEye · 25/01/2022 17:35

I think you're bring pretty paranoid here OP, UNLESS you now reveal that the reason you are on and off for two years is because he has form for cheating...

But if he doesn't then this all seems overly dramatic.

Dh and I regularly text stuff like that to each other, it means nothing more than 'I'm passing this place and thinking of you'. In our case it could be a landmark we know the other would like and we wish they were there too, or somewhere that's special to us both and we want to remind the other.

Similarly I sometimes pass my parents hometown on the train if I am making a particular journey for work and I text my mother to tell her I'm waving at her

We're never actually waving either! It's just a cute way of saying it

Poppins2016 · 25/01/2022 17:35

If I'd arranged to meet someone somewhere, I'd just message to say "I'm here" (or "I'm at the entrance" etc.) rather than specifying the name of where I was, as that would have been discussed before the event. So I think "waving" sounds entirely plausible...

Hollyhead · 25/01/2022 17:35

I say that all the time, it’s a way of saying, wish you were here to see it.

It would be a very expensive rendezvous - it costs about £25 to get in!

TheVanguardSix · 25/01/2022 17:37

I'd say you're being a silly ol' bint and hopefully it's true Grin,
BUT... you're gut's your gut, you know? And sometimes you can't chase away whatever it is that's causing you to feel those niggles of doubt.
More than the message, it's the fact that you have no memory of ever discussing his night away that sort of has me thinking, "hmmm."

gobbynorthernbird · 25/01/2022 17:37

@Santahasjoinedww

The thing is if the op doesn't recognise it as a gesture then maybe someone else does. Why would he make it to someone who didn't 'get' it?
Because (and I speak from experience here) you don't know that someone doesn't get it until they respond with 'eh?'.
Lostinafield · 25/01/2022 17:38

You are being really paranoid, I'm afraid.
It seems a normal sort of thing to say, maybe awk yourself why you don't trust him?

UniBallEye · 25/01/2022 17:38

And I have to say I don't agree with all the posters egging you onto dig into the details of his work event, turn up, ask for facetime to 'prove' he is where is says he is, looking his event up on line etc etc

If my (on and off) partner of 2 years did any of this to me, for no actual reason, he'd fairly sharply be OFF again. I wouldn't tolerate it.

Abraxan · 25/01/2022 17:39

I can imagine messaging something similar to Dh. Not necessarily waving but might say something like 'said hello to ...' i messaged him something along those lines when me and Dd passed angel of the north recently.

I've done talk to text in my phone just now but it isn't mistaking waving for waiting at all or vice versa .

TatianaBis · 25/01/2022 17:39

Sometimes gut feeling is just paranoia and insecurity.

Swipe left for the next trending thread