Odd text message from partner

[OtherNameblahblah]

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

[quote Polecat03]@thisplaceisweird

Fuck off with that, there is context involved here.
Some people can say they wave at monuments and its normal for them (I've NEVER heard of this either), OP obviously knows it's not normal for her partner, he is communicating differently and she found it odd. Coupled with no recollection of the work event. And he's staying at a mates, last minute arrangement.
Why are you being so rude to her? Take it somewhere else.[/quote]
To be fair has op done much travelling with her DP to know if this is a thing over the last two years?

Well surely if you can't stop to take a pic you can't stop to wait for someone? Await the night out op. See if he is contactable later etc...

This is one of the daftest things i'v ever read on MN!!

perfectly normal thing to say. how paranoid

I'd rather wave at Avebury.
(misses point completely)

Thank god his phone didn’t mis-hear him telling you he was waving at Stonehenge and send the text “I’m waiting at Stonehenge”.

If that had happened it sounds like you’d already be filing for divorce.

Um, way overthinking if this is your only 'clue'

If I was describing something I was doing, I'd definitely say "I'm waving/smiling at Big Ben/Stonehenge for you" in that way, it sounds plausible.

If I was waiting on someone I'd call or say, I'm in the car park at.... Followed by xx

I'd feel the same and would be speaking to him for lengthy convoys this evening and night. I know I'm insecure though and that's not the norm.

Have you got reason to doubt him, has he been acting differently, changed anything about himself etc?

To me - I don't wave at Stonehenge (either on train or in car) - people i know who go home near there sometimes quote it in reference as in they're near home.

I don't think personally he's cheating but you say you think he's fibbing and I'd be wondering about that.

It would also be really difficult to missend a WhatsApp message via voice typing IMO. I use it a lot in the car, and when you request New Message you have to say the name of the person. Then once you’ve dictated it Siri reads it back so you can check for mistakes. Why would he make two mistakes - recipient AND verb - whilst trying to sneakily have an affair?! Please stop torturing yourself (and maybe him) over this.

@MatildaJayne

Eddie Stobart?

That's the one, name escaped me

I'm with the people that say this is a quirky thing they do/say. Like 'say hello to the queen'! After a boring drive, to see a world-famous landmark is something you might like to remark about to someone who's on your mind (i.e. you!)

We often 'wave' at our relatives who live over a giant expanse of water from a popular tourist point, when we go there. Then text to say 'we're waving hello from XXX-ville!'

If he was having an affair though why would they meet in the evening at Stonehenge. It's just a car park there and she would have to drive there and they would drive off in seperate cars from there to the hotel. Also if they had agreed to meet there, they probably would have been in contact all the way there and he would just say 'i'm here' from the car park. He wouldn't need to say 'im waiting at Stonehenge for you' because the woman would know he's at Stonehenge.

Not helpful.

@GreenFingeredNell15

He didnt mentioned the trip before

Hes expressing himself differently than normal (waving at a monument isn't something he'd normally say)

Hes staying with someone you don't know

All odd imo

None of those things are odd if you aren't paranoid

@VanCleefArpels

Sod the waving is it just me thinking it’s weird to have a conversation BY TEXT when one person is driving? Why not just talk on hands free 🤔

No - that did also cross my mind too!

Totally innocuous comment and quite sad that you have jumped to conclusions like this. With regard the 'unexpected' trip away that could easily be your mistake too. Poor bloke!

Red flag he did not tell you he was going away but made out he did. Come on pp when was the last time your partner said they were going away and you forgot

I think you can only go by your normal.

If DH told me he was waving at a moment, that he'd forgotten my plans and was texting by voice command that would be entirely normal because he does random stuff, has a memory like a seive and often voice commands his phone while driving.

If I waved, forgot him staying overnight somewhere and used my phone while driving - or any of those three - it would ring alarm bells for him because they are not things I do.

So, it's pretty impossible for people to say anything other than what would be normal for them or their partner. You know your partner, if it's ringing bells for you then you'll need to try and work out why, or if you are over reading the situation.

I think it's stranger to say you're waiting at stone hedge. Surely if he was meeting someone then it was prearranged so you'd just say: I'm here. YABU

Has he ever contacted you like that instead of ringing op?

Another one who would definitely message that and/or receive it in return. Like if I was walking passed Buckingham Palace I’d probably tell DH/DDs I was saying hi to the queen

How normal is it for him to go on a course? ( Admittedly a difficult one in Covid times).

What is the course about?

Are other colleagues going?

Have you heard of this friend before?

All things that would shade your opinion on this one I think.

Christ, the poor bloke

@HollowTalk

I've never heard of anyone waving at Stonehenge!

It's much harder to stop at Stonehenge for a photo these days as the road going very close to it has closed and I wouldn't want to stop on the main road.

Others might not think that waving at Stonehenge is a thing, but I'm always amazed at how the traffic slows as people drive past it. Perhaps they are all waving at Stonehenge.

Why are you ‘on and off’ for 2 years?
Does that mean you both see other people during the ‘off’ period?