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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This isn't fair, right?

157 replies

Tyrozet · 25/01/2022 05:18

I work in a small team as part of a bigger organisation with lots of other sites in close vicinity.

On occassion, I have gone to work in other sites to help cover staff holidays/sickness etc. Since Covid, staffing has been alot worse and I have been required to do this more frequently along with another colleague.

I don't mind working elsewhere but it can be stressful at times if they have been short staffed and are very behind with workload and we are unfamiliar with the goings on at each site/don't know anyone etc etc.

Nobody else in our team ever offers to take a turn to go elsewhere - it always falls to myself and sometimes other colleague, but mostly me. Nobody else even gets asked.

Manager had a message yesterday saying one of the sites was really short staffed and requested our help for 3/4 days this week. Manager announced this to everyone and emphasised that it was "only fair" that everyone takes a turn. I put myself forward and went yesterday. Nobody else offered and there was stony silence. Boss didn't raise it with anyone else at the time and my other colleague also got pulled to another site for the day. We both said at the time that we would prefer not to have to do this all week and that other staff should take a turn.

End of day yesterday, both colleague and I get messages asking us to work elsewhere - I say fine, but ask why nobody else is taking a turn and am told it's too awkward for them to travel (all sites are within a 5 mile radius, some colleagues drive and there is regular bus service for those who don't).

It is in our contract that we may be required to work elsewhere on occassion - as much as I don't want to be petty and say no, I think it's shit that others aren't even being considered whilst it all falls to my colleague and I. She feels the same.

The others have also outwardly said how awful and stressful working at this specific site has been in the past (it was actually fine and they haven't been there in at least 4 years) but are happy to let me suffer it alone all week.

Manager is generally pretty good and we get along well, I don't want to make life difficult for her by refusing, and also don't think anyone should refuse what is in their contract.

Sorry that was quite long winded.

Would this irritate you as well?

OP posts:
ElftonWednesday · 25/01/2022 05:21

YANBU. Ask your boss to draw up a rota.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 25/01/2022 05:21

Yes it would irritate me and I'd ask my manager to facilitate an open conversation with my team about it.

Or will you get any additional rewards in any other way? Promotion, extra training , bonuses etc.?

MiddleParking · 25/01/2022 05:24

It would really irritate me, but it sounds like you’ll be well thought of by your manager for not being a dick about it. Is it a job with scope for progression/promotion?

bonetiredwithtwins · 25/01/2022 05:27

A 5 mile distance in my area - (large city) can take 45 mins to get to by car or bus which would have an impact on childcare etc so it isn't always as plain cut as it seems? I'd only volunteer if I could leave that place of work to get home at my usual time

Original poster
Tyrozet · 25/01/2022 05:33

A 5 mile distance in my area - (large city) can take 45 mins to get to by car or bus which would have an impact on childcare etc so it isn't always as plain cut as it seems? I'd only volunteer if I could leave that place of work to get home at my usual time

I see what you mean, but the most it would take to get there by car is 10/15 minutes which is about the same travel time as to our usual place of work. Everyone's children are older teens who don't require childcare and when we are asked to work elsewhere we are still only required to work to our usual finishing time. They'd be home around the same time. We know each other's lives fairly well and nobody has caring responsibilities, second jobs or anything along those lines.

OP posts:
tympanic · 25/01/2022 05:34

Just posted on another thread about my horrendous workplace.

When I was pregnant I was suddenly told I was doing a newly-formed late shift, despite my earlier hours being stated in my interview. There were five of us in the team, including non-permanent staff. I’ve been flexible with my employer since I began and all it seems to have done is mean they’ve taken advantage.

The more pregnant I got the more tired I got. Had a couple of scares and suggested given there were five of us in the team we could each work a late shift each. You’d think that was a reasonable solution, right? Wrong. Long and the short of it was every one of the other staff had weak excuses not to do it, yet being heavily pregnant and exhausted didn’t count.

OP, I wouldn’t just accept this as you’re then setting a precedent for what you’ll put up with. There’s no reason people can’t take turns and it’s rubbish of both your boss and workmates to be so in fair and inflexible about it. YANBU.

tympanic · 25/01/2022 05:36

*unfair

Monty27 · 25/01/2022 05:36

Team work isn't quite happening here and perhaps your colleagues need telling in no uncertain terms how that works. For everyone.

Original poster
Tyrozet · 25/01/2022 06:14

@tympanic sorry you had to go through that - especially when you were pregnant. I hope you got a good outcome in the end?

I think I'm generally very obliging as an employee and I do what I can to be flexible and not make a fuss, therefore it's easier to ask me/ put me on the spot than to piss other employees off who don't want to help.
I can understand my manager's point of view in that she doesn't want a negative atmosphere which is what would happen if she put her foot down and made them do it, but at the same time its shite feeling like a pushover and I've gone from being ok with an occassional change of scenery and meeting new people to resenting the extra pressure by having to do this constantly.

OP posts:
NYnewstart · 25/01/2022 06:22

Just sit back and repeat “someone else’s turn”

Make it not your problem.

Weenurse · 25/01/2022 06:23

Manager needs to put their foot down.
Short term pain for long term gain.
Last time I managed staff this was an issue.
I kept a list in the front of the diary as to who was deployed where and when.
Once staff saw there were no favourites or excuses, everyone had to take their turn, it became entrenched practice .
I worked there today and noticed a person being sent to work elsewhere.
“It’s your turn to go Jane” and off they went.

Newchallenge · 25/01/2022 06:24

Stop volunteering to go! And if asked directly, say you have been recently and it's someone else's turn.

SarahBellam · 25/01/2022 06:26

I would have a chat with your boss and just say that all the covering for other offices is having a negative impact on you being able to do your own job, and that it’s only fair that the cover is distributed fairly amongst the team.

CheshireSplat · 25/01/2022 06:29

I think you're far too nice. You're putting yourself out to save your manager aggro. She's needs to start acting like a manager and not trying to be friends with everyone. If you don't put your foot down though, there will be no incentive for her to do so.

What's the worst that will happen? Your colleagues won't like it, will leave and they'll be replaced by people who are more flexible.

(I say this in the nicest possible way, OP.) Stop being so nice and put yourself first. Your manager is paid to sort this kind of stuff out. It isn't your responsibility.

Original poster
Tyrozet · 25/01/2022 06:29

Stop volunteering to go! And if asked directly, say you have been recently and it's someone else's turn.

Can't help it, I'm a people pleaser 😅

I volunteered this time for simplicity as someone was needed there and then. As my manager had actually said "it's only fair everyone takes a turn" I didn't think it would be an issue this time. I also said that I wasn't doing the other days.

When she asked me directly later on I said "yes, but do X,Y or Z not want to take a turn?" and was told it was awkward for them. To be honest I don't think she actually asked/told them.

OP posts:
BatshitBanshee · 25/01/2022 06:30

Stop volunteering!!! When you're in a group setting like that, stop saying you'll do it. You're sending the message that you're totally fine with travel and different sites etc so when they do need someone short notice at a different site, you're easy pickings. Tell your manager no, that it doesn't suit to go that distance this week and someone else will have to do it and in future stop volunteering.

BatshitBanshee · 25/01/2022 06:31

If you're told well it's awkward for them, say: well it's no real picnic for me to get here but it is part of our contract to go where the needs of the business are. Volley it back at her.

And stop being a doormat and then complaining when you get stepped on.

Bananarice · 25/01/2022 06:39

Stop volunteering!

pilates · 25/01/2022 06:43

I would speak to your Manager and agree to do it but moving forward I would want a rota drawn up.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 25/01/2022 06:45

Stop saying yes! Managers are paid to manage.

Lykia · 25/01/2022 06:47

First rule of work is never volunteer for anything - unless you're after promotion. I never volunteer for anything at work. I'm not lazy however from doing it in the past I've come to conclusion it's rarely appreciated.

Darbs76 · 25/01/2022 06:48

We have a group of people who never offer to do anything and then a couple of people get put upon. Your boss is being unreasonable as she needs to draw up a rota if it’s part of their job. Don’t offer next time too, you’ve done your partn

MrsLargeEmbodied · 25/01/2022 06:50

your manager needs to manage this,
do you mind going?
there does need to be a rota imo

Original poster
Tyrozet · 25/01/2022 06:54

Definitely no chance of promotion, I just feel that it's up to me to do the job I'm contracted for. Even when I don't volunteer I don't feel I can refuse if asked directly as I have been even after saying someone else should do today.

I definitely need a thicker skin and to ignore the tumbleweed when nobody else volunteers though.

OP posts:
MarineBlue33 · 25/01/2022 06:56

I think yabu for continually saying yes to work elsewhere if you don't really want to.