This isn't fair, right?

[Tyrozet]

I work in a small team as part of a bigger organisation with lots of other sites in close vicinity.

On occassion, I have gone to work in other sites to help cover staff holidays/sickness etc. Since Covid, staffing has been alot worse and I have been required to do this more frequently along with another colleague.

I don't mind working elsewhere but it can be stressful at times if they have been short staffed and are very behind with workload and we are unfamiliar with the goings on at each site/don't know anyone etc etc.

Nobody else in our team ever offers to take a turn to go elsewhere - it always falls to myself and sometimes other colleague, but mostly me. Nobody else even gets asked.

Manager had a message yesterday saying one of the sites was really short staffed and requested our help for 3/4 days this week. Manager announced this to everyone and emphasised that it was "only fair" that everyone takes a turn. I put myself forward and went yesterday. Nobody else offered and there was stony silence. Boss didn't raise it with anyone else at the time and my other colleague also got pulled to another site for the day. We both said at the time that we would prefer not to have to do this all week and that other staff should take a turn.

End of day yesterday, both colleague and I get messages asking us to work elsewhere - I say fine, but ask why nobody else is taking a turn and am told it's too awkward for them to travel (all sites are within a 5 mile radius, some colleagues drive and there is regular bus service for those who don't).

It is in our contract that we may be required to work elsewhere on occassion - as much as I don't want to be petty and say no, I think it's shit that others aren't even being considered whilst it all falls to my colleague and I. She feels the same.

The others have also outwardly said how awful and stressful working at this specific site has been in the past (it was actually fine and they haven't been there in at least 4 years) but are happy to let me suffer it alone all week.

Manager is generally pretty good and we get along well, I don't want to make life difficult for her by refusing, and also don't think anyone should refuse what is in their contract.

Sorry that was quite long winded.

Would this irritate you as well?

Nah @edwinbear more like next time I wanted someone to work an unpopular shift I'd remember the person who volunteered for everything.

Ask for a pay rise to compensate for the extra stress and responsibilities

I understand that you don’t want to cause any upset but they don’t seem to worry about upsetting you. I would do as you have promised but say next time someone else will have to do it.

Don’t put yourself forward next time. In fact answer with, “I’ve done my turn!”

Agree with stop volunteering. Your manager gave you the perfect opportunity to step back and say yep, we did it last time, whose turn is it now? And she'd have backed you, solving the problem. Instead, you lept in as usual giving the impression you're happy doing it!

Manager probably wanted you and other obliging colleagues support as peer pressure in the meeting.

I believe the reason they pick you is that you give least resistance.

It could be great for your career though, I was similar to you. Always offered to do all the helping where ever and when ever. When the company sold some sites they move the non helpers into the sites that were being sold and kept me at the company, with several pay rises and promotions too. Don’t give up being helpful. It could be a future invest meant in you 🥰🥰🥰

No is a full sentence.

actually i think yore manager is taking the piss not asking anyone but you-its awkward well she should pull her pants up and ask shes the manager after all

Why would someone volunteer when you always do. I suggest you work on your ability to stop being a people pleaser and become more like your other colleagues. Next time say no I can't this time and leave it at that.

Ypu have a very weak manager.

Yoh have an inability to say no, or even to stay silent when they ask for volunteers.

You can fix onlynone of these things. I suggest you learn how to not volunteer for things you don’t want to do when it isn’t your turn. Your colleagues are not grateful and probably look down on you for it, and, unless you work for the NHS or something similarly worthy, you’re just being a mug.

WHY are you a “people pleaser”? WHY can’t you say “pretty sure it’s not my turn this time”? Fix yourself or this will keep happening to you everywhere you go for the rest of your life.

Stop putting yourself forward. Sounds like you've done your fair share.
As for the others travelling to the other sites, that excuse is very lame.
You've done it.
Your manager really ought to draw up a rota for all to take in turns.
Is it in everyone's contract that they may be required to work on the other sites? If so, then your colleagues can't refuse to do their bit.

I'd be suggesting to the manager that the relocated shifts are on a rota basis. If it comes up 'oh tom was yesterday so Julie can go today and Fred the next' If it's in your contract then it's also in theirs and they shouldn't have an option to say no. I'm all for asking/being polite/volunteers but this isn't fair and frankly if it's all falling to you there should be some kind of bonus or incentive for doing so.

You need to say no. Don't feel bad you've done more than your fair share

If you keep volunteering, of course the others aren't going to step up.

You have a weak manager.
The others should take a turn.
Get them to make a roster and don't volunteer again, have your turn and no extras. If someone calls in "sick" the roster gets redone and they get the next shift going.The others are taking advantage of your good nature.

Your manager is poor. And weak.

Don't volunteer next time.

Of course you can say No. If they can dictate how they want their daughter treated then you can dictate how your daughter (and her belongings) are treated. There's always going to be a bit of diplomacy required when parents are dealing with interactions between their kids. The first learning curve is always the steepest! You will have to figure it out and be direct with the SIL , just say it as it is. Explain to the daughter that because germs can make the baby sick We wash our hands before we touch the baby, we don't kiss the babys face or hands, we don't touch the babies toys and only grown ups are allowed to feed the baby or change the baby amd we dont distract the baby when she is being breastfed. Law down the law! A huge amount of childhood choking incidents are caused by older children giving babies food. Letting her feed the baby a bottle is a recipe for disaster later on. She is your daughter you have to protect her.

How do I delete this? Posted on wrong thread lol

Hit report on the post in question and ask nicely.

YABU to mot have said no already. You have done your turn. Say no.

Thanks all. I realise volunteering for the first shift was a mistake - my thinking was that after saying everyone was to take a turn this time, if I volunteered to do the first shift it would be out of the way and I wouldn't be expected to do another.

There isn't really a viable excuse I can come up with not to do it - anything that would stop me working elsewhere would also stop me working in my base location so it really does have to be a point blank "no" which is a bit more difficult to do.

Haven't been asked again yet but we shall see what happens next week.

There isn't really a viable excuse I can come up with not to do it

There is. You simply say oh no it was my turn last week. It's someone else's turn now. A you could even suggest a rota.

Sorry, that but was meant in reply to people suggesting I have childcare/ doctors appointment/ pet to take care of etc.

But I've decided not to suggest anything, I've done my bit so its up to the manager how she wants to share it out for next time when I say no.

Excellent. You stick to your no.