This isn't fair, right?

[Tyrozet]

I work in a small team as part of a bigger organisation with lots of other sites in close vicinity.

On occassion, I have gone to work in other sites to help cover staff holidays/sickness etc. Since Covid, staffing has been alot worse and I have been required to do this more frequently along with another colleague.

I don't mind working elsewhere but it can be stressful at times if they have been short staffed and are very behind with workload and we are unfamiliar with the goings on at each site/don't know anyone etc etc.

Nobody else in our team ever offers to take a turn to go elsewhere - it always falls to myself and sometimes other colleague, but mostly me. Nobody else even gets asked.

Manager had a message yesterday saying one of the sites was really short staffed and requested our help for 3/4 days this week. Manager announced this to everyone and emphasised that it was "only fair" that everyone takes a turn. I put myself forward and went yesterday. Nobody else offered and there was stony silence. Boss didn't raise it with anyone else at the time and my other colleague also got pulled to another site for the day. We both said at the time that we would prefer not to have to do this all week and that other staff should take a turn.

End of day yesterday, both colleague and I get messages asking us to work elsewhere - I say fine, but ask why nobody else is taking a turn and am told it's too awkward for them to travel (all sites are within a 5 mile radius, some colleagues drive and there is regular bus service for those who don't).

It is in our contract that we may be required to work elsewhere on occassion - as much as I don't want to be petty and say no, I think it's shit that others aren't even being considered whilst it all falls to my colleague and I. She feels the same.

The others have also outwardly said how awful and stressful working at this specific site has been in the past (it was actually fine and they haven't been there in at least 4 years) but are happy to let me suffer it alone all week.

Manager is generally pretty good and we get along well, I don't want to make life difficult for her by refusing, and also don't think anyone should refuse what is in their contract.

Sorry that was quite long winded.

Would this irritate you as well?

@Tyrozet

Stop volunteering to go! And if asked directly, say you have been recently and it's someone else's turn.

Can't help it, I'm a people pleaser 😅

I volunteered this time for simplicity as someone was needed there and then. As my manager had actually said "it's only fair everyone takes a turn" I didn't think it would be an issue this time. I also said that I wasn't doing the other days.

When she asked me directly later on I said "yes, but do X,Y or Z not want to take a turn?" and was told it was awkward for them. To be honest I don't think she actually asked/told them.

of course you can help it!

I say this kindly.... but you are doing this to yourself. People pleasing is not a positive characteristic when it starts to affect your life badly.

Stop volunteering and if you are asked directly, say no.... its not my turn until 2024 (or whenever) as I've done it so many times previously

When she asked me directly later on I said "yes, but do X,Y or Z not want to take a turn?" and was told it was awkward for them. To be honest I don't think she actually asked/told them.

But that was a stupid question, of course they don't want to take a turn otherwise they would have offered. What you need to say is 'yes, but I'm not doing it again until everyone else has taken a turn, as it isn't fair that it always falls to me and colleague'

Do you have a HR department? I'd go and see them. You say your manager doesn't want bad feeling, but that's what she's getting.

Your manager needs to manage. Tough if it leaves a negative atmosphere, it'll be even more negative if you join the ranks of those who won't go to the other site.

'People pleaser' is also known as lacking in assertiveness.

It is in our contract that we may be required to work elsewhere on occasion

It still needs to meet a reasonableness test, and short notice is often not considered reasonable, although details depend on so many things, but anyway, it's your manager not your colleagues you need to complain about.

The best way to lose good staff is to indulge bad staff.

That was a poster above one of my previous MDs desks.

It isn't fair. You need to break the cycle.

Make arrangements after work which mean you can't do it for the next few days.

When your manager asks, say 'Sorry, I can't for xx reason. Maybe it is time to draw up that rota?'.

You need to make it your managers problem. Don't feel bad. The rota is the obvious solution. Your manager needs to take it.

YANBU but as others have said, you need to stop volunteering. When you stop, they’ll be forced to find someone else to do it.

But that was a stupid question, of course they don't want to take a turn otherwise they would have offered. What you need to say is 'yes, but I'm not doing it again until everyone else has taken a turn, as it isn't fair that it always falls to me and colleague'

I agree with this. You get on well with you manager so this really shouldn't be hard. It's not like you're facing a bully's wrath of the sack. Just say this calmly and straightforwardly.

I can't for the life of me understand why you put yourself forward seconds after your manager had told everyone that they needed to take their turn. What were you thinking? For once she gave you an opportunity not to be the one, and you wasted it.

We have to prove our insurance covers us because we may be asked to go to different trust premises on occasion. As I work for a big NHS trust I assume they've investigated the law on this.
My daughter also has to as she is a nurse in the community and works out of different offices.
Worth checking with your insurers rather than finding out you're uninsured if you have an accident on your way to a different workplace.

Other staff don't appreciate what you do OP, but they will resent you when they have to cover 'your' job. You have made it your job.

Blatantly unfair, time for the manager to manage and make a rota.

It’s good that your manager is on board, by that I mean she realises that it’s always you two and she has stated that it’s fair that everyone takes a turn.

To be honest I think it’s HER responsibility to make a rota/system for people to attend the other sites when needed. Leaving it to volunteers has obviously failed.

Perhaps you can speak to her about this? You can point out that you are all contracted to visit other sites and you are obviously happy to do your job as contracted but you think it would be fairer if there was a turn system as nobody else volunteers.

I would request a team meeting to discuss and challenge these "transport issues". Are they genuine or are they not problem solving them. Company could pay busfare. Question why 2 members should carry all the stress. If you don't you're setting a precedent.

Tell them to stick their job - there's plenty out there at present.

You need to be harder. You shouldn’t have volunteered. Everybody, including the manager, knows you will. Fight back. Say you have just as much travel stress as anyone else and you feel that you’re being taken advantage of. Say you volunteered for your fair share, now someone else needs to. Be firm.

Just start being silent OP. I feel your pain, I'm an inveterate volunteerer myself, but sometimes it pays to sit on your hands rather than say yes.
Even if you end up doing it, not responding for an hour or so will give your manager the klaxon call, that good old reliable workhouse employee is getting a bit fed up with being the only one travelling without you having to say it.

@Newchallenge

Stop volunteering to go! And if asked directly, say you have been recently and it's someone else's turn.

@Newchallenge - exactly this!

I had a colleague who was similar to you and I had limited sympathy for her too. She too would volunteer to be the one to work at another site and then complain, well why bloody volunteer then? Being a people pleaser is a piss poor excuse you need to work on yourself. Get better at saying no in front of your colleagues, make it everyone's problem because it is. A rota system would be much more fair and it's up to your manager to implement but he or she never will if you don't pipe up and say that you aren't happily to do it anymore. If you can't do this then you'll just have to get used to it. In the end rather than speak up my colleague left the organisation. She now works for a similar company and is doing more weekend shifts than she has to because noone else volunteers! Some people just can't help themselves.

Next time they ask say “ I did the last 1/2/3 so I’ll let someone else do this one. Keep account of it to prove its not fairly shared out.

Years ago in a job, there was a daily job going round watering plants and it always fell to me and my colleague. We didn’t mind doing it as such but it meant everyone else got a head start on their work and also we were then seen in a ‘junior’ role although we were all the same, we kept a record of it for a while then pointed it out to the manager who then to his credit made everyone take turns.

Next time they ask for a volunteer if you feel like you have to fill the silence just say “well I went last time, so I’m counting myself out on this occasion” they will all know it’s true from what you said. Then the hard bit, say nothing else at all until it’s sorted between the rest of the team.

I think you should be more annoyed at your manager than your colleagues tbh. Your manager is paid to manage, that is an integral part of their job, they are not doing that job.
Your colleagues all greet and moan because the manager lets them get away with it, rather than causing a “bad” feeling. Your manager needs to draw up a fair rota, rather than asking for volunteers, and then enforce it. I agree with PP’s DO NOT volunteer wait out the silence, you say you are a people pleaser all you are doing is enabling CF’s (including your manager) to walk all over you.

I don't get everyone saying you need to speak up OP, what you actually need to do is radio silence to the next few requests.

Only respond if and when manager approaches you directly and then go for the time for someone else in the team to do it reply.

If all of your contracts say that you are expected to work elsewhere on occasion, then the others should be taking their turn, too.