This isn't fair, right?

[Tyrozet]

I work in a small team as part of a bigger organisation with lots of other sites in close vicinity.

On occassion, I have gone to work in other sites to help cover staff holidays/sickness etc. Since Covid, staffing has been alot worse and I have been required to do this more frequently along with another colleague.

I don't mind working elsewhere but it can be stressful at times if they have been short staffed and are very behind with workload and we are unfamiliar with the goings on at each site/don't know anyone etc etc.

Nobody else in our team ever offers to take a turn to go elsewhere - it always falls to myself and sometimes other colleague, but mostly me. Nobody else even gets asked.

Manager had a message yesterday saying one of the sites was really short staffed and requested our help for 3/4 days this week. Manager announced this to everyone and emphasised that it was "only fair" that everyone takes a turn. I put myself forward and went yesterday. Nobody else offered and there was stony silence. Boss didn't raise it with anyone else at the time and my other colleague also got pulled to another site for the day. We both said at the time that we would prefer not to have to do this all week and that other staff should take a turn.

End of day yesterday, both colleague and I get messages asking us to work elsewhere - I say fine, but ask why nobody else is taking a turn and am told it's too awkward for them to travel (all sites are within a 5 mile radius, some colleagues drive and there is regular bus service for those who don't).

It is in our contract that we may be required to work elsewhere on occassion - as much as I don't want to be petty and say no, I think it's shit that others aren't even being considered whilst it all falls to my colleague and I. She feels the same.

The others have also outwardly said how awful and stressful working at this specific site has been in the past (it was actually fine and they haven't been there in at least 4 years) but are happy to let me suffer it alone all week.

Manager is generally pretty good and we get along well, I don't want to make life difficult for her by refusing, and also don't think anyone should refuse what is in their contract.

Sorry that was quite long winded.

Would this irritate you as well?

Embodied I actually used to like going occasionally, but now it's most weeks it's too much. I never agreed to do it every time on the basis that I liked it or anything.

We have a similar set up with a peice of work that's required on an adhoc basis. No one likes doing it, but our boss has said that he'd prefer if people volunteered, but if they didnt, or it was the same people volunteering he'd hand out the work.

Your colleagues might not like it, they may struggle to get there, but I presume their contract states the same as yours. Your boss is taking the path of least resistance.

I think you may need to stand your ground, which is unfortunate, as you will end up looking like the unreasonable one, when it's been you and your colleague that's been more than reasonable and helpful.

As others say...just stop!

Stop volunteering ffs

Nobody else does because they know you will

Next time it’s mentioned, remind the manager she said it’s only fair everyone takes a turn, and that x, y and z haven’t ever offered! Stop being such a people pleaser if you don’t want to do it. It seems very unfair.

Push for additional renumeration. Sit your manager down. Point out this is an additional responsibility as the rest of the team don't do this. Therefore you would like to be paid fairly for this. Can they increase your salary - you think X would he fair alternatively they need to share out the work.

Or just say I went last time - someone else needs to go.

Absolutely not volunteering again, believe me!

Would you go as far as refusing when directly asked though? I don't feel I can say no to something thats in my contract. The others don't say no outright, they just dont get asked.

I might say yes but x y and z need to cover my work while I'm off. Then do the minimum possible on other sites. Or instead of letting tumbleweed happen say 'I did last week. It's someone else's turn.' Call it out

Can't help it, I'm a people pleaser 😅

Being a people pleaser is not a good thing!

When she asked me directly later on I said "yes, but do X,Y or Z not want to take a turn?" and was told it was awkward for them. To be honest I don't think she actually asked/told them.

That is a very passive way to say you don’t want to do it. You should have said it’s someone else’s turn and there should be a rota.

Manager is generally pretty good and we get along well, I don't want to make life difficult for her by refusing

Maybe there is a big drip feed coming where you tell us actually she does stuff for you that she doesn’t do for the others on your team, but if not…

Of course you get along well if you do everything she asks and when she ignores your complaints and requests you just accept it.

Why are you bothered about not wanting to make her life difficult about this? She’s happy to make your life difficult and less enjoyable to avoid having to do the harder bits of her job (I.e. properly managing the people on her team).

Stop putting other peoples desire for an easy life over your own desire for an easy life. Let her know you really aren’t happy about it.

Also, look around for another job. It’s good to have an arrow notched when you start to change the status quo.

@GiveMeNovocain

I might say yes but x y and z need to cover my work while I'm off. Then do the minimum possible on other sites. Or instead of letting tumbleweed happen say 'I did last week. It's someone else's turn.' Call it out

No, she shouldn’t say yes!

You are doing this to yourself though, by putting your hand up 🤷‍♀️ You actually have autonomy! Nobody is forcing you. Just...stop 🤦‍♀️

The old 'but I'm a people pleaser' is nonsense...take control of your life, nobody else is going to I'm afraid.

Your colleagues know that you'll volunteer...so why would they bother???

Oh...and change that 'people pleaser' narrative in your head.

Next time you feel yourself wanting to call yourself that, just remember...whilst YOU think that's what you are, everyone else has another name for it: MUG

Nobody respects a 'people pleaser'...they use them to their own ends, sure, but not respect.

@Tyrozet

Absolutely not volunteering again, believe me!

Would you go as far as refusing when directly asked though? I don't feel I can say no to something thats in my contract. The others don't say no outright, they just dont get asked.

Refusing could get you disciplined. But you can say “I don’t want to. It’s time others took a turn. You’ve been really unfair about this.”

@Tyrozet

Absolutely not volunteering again, believe me!

Would you go as far as refusing when directly asked though? I don't feel I can say no to something thats in my contract. The others don't say no outright, they just dont get asked.

Yes, if it doesn't suit me and I've already done the lion's share.

You're making your "manager's" job too easy. You're essentially the dogsbody because "I don't have to ask anyone else, OP will do it". That's what she's saying when she only asks you and no one else. Stand up for yourself, stop volunteering and if asked directly again say no it doesn't suit this week. This location change isn't exclusive to just your role, this needs to be on other people to do also. You can't be punished for not doing something that's expected of the whole team but you're the only one that's asked.

This is also the part where I tell you your manager isn't your friend. You don't owe her anything so stop feeling like the onus is on you to do everyone's job.

Maybe there is a big drip feed coming where you tell us actually she does stuff for you that she doesn’t do for the others on your team, but if not

Definitely not - we get along because she is amicable and funny. She has the same relationship with all of us - definitely no special treatment anywhere.

She has acknowledged before that it's always me and has said that she and the managers at other sites appreciate the help but I know nothing will change if I keep letting it happen.

I do have an arrow notched, and I don't know whether to actually have words or just pick my battles and suck it up in the meantime.

I think its reasonable you volunteered this time as the manager clearly said everyone should take a turn.

It was an opportunity for your manager to step up. They didn’t. You’ve done your bit. I’d go and say something like ‘I’ve helped out with this on many occasions, but others are not despite you saying everyone needs to take turns’. You’d like them to take some action to avoid this in future so that the workload is fairly shared - eg a drawn up rota or similar.

Try and put your foot down next time. Or simply don’t volunteer unless pushed by the manager. And start to push for that to be recognised - maybe a promotion or similar

Refusing could get you disciplined.

A manager who has not, and does not, ask anyone else to do what OP does when it's expected of the whole team to do it will not start any disciplinary action. Because then she'll be the one found lacking.

Push. Back.

I can understand my manager's point of view in that she doesn't want a negative atmosphere

But you’re fine with her creating a negative atmosphere for you and your friend? Bizarre.

Yes, I would refuse now and suggest the boss draws up a rota

Don’t have to say ‘no’ outright, just phrase it as ‘I think it’s someone else’s turn’ if you feel you have to open your mouth at all. Otherwise just stay silent like the others do!

I feel your pain. Similar thing happens to me and another work colleague except neither of us volunteer, we get told to go. We both live in A town (walking distance to work) overbooked to go to Y. Several miles away, need to drive and have to pay to park (not cheap either.) I've kicked up a stink about it and taken it to HR.
Other staff can't go as they throw in the 'mental health' card. Strangely they can go on certain days and insist they work at X on such and such days and Y on the other days. All to do with fitting in with their partners. Apparently their mental health is fine on those days of the week.
Anyway, I stopped being flexible in other ways. I don't offer to cover staff over Christmas or work overtime or stay late if clients are late etc.
I really, really does not pay to be kind.
I have told both my boss and HR that I am so out of pocket over this.
Boss asked for a volunteer to do another task. I'm not doing it. Nobody else apart from myself and other colleague have been dumped on so I'm being the same.
YANBU.

You and your colleague should just say it’s awkward for you both if it’s that simple. Do you know how many times you’ve been to a different site? Make a note of every time you remember so you have a record of fulfilling your contract. The manager sounds crap if they can’t do their job. A rota sounds good, you could also insist you get to sit out a couple of rounds as you’ve done far more than your share already.

can you ask for petrol money?
or hint that there is petrol money?

Seriously, I’m very non confrontational but I wouldn’t hesitate to say no, not this time, I e done more than my fair share.

I got roped into organising most of the Teams social events through lockdown because I’m the least senior member of the team but towards the end I just said no thanks, I’ve done my share and someone else eventually agreed.

Stop volunteering.
As you say, you need to ignore the tumbleweed.

Make the manager have to deal with it!

If they say something, point out it's been only you and one other doing it for however long it's been and it's high time someone else took a turn.