This isn't fair, right?

[Tyrozet]

I work in a small team as part of a bigger organisation with lots of other sites in close vicinity.

On occassion, I have gone to work in other sites to help cover staff holidays/sickness etc. Since Covid, staffing has been alot worse and I have been required to do this more frequently along with another colleague.

I don't mind working elsewhere but it can be stressful at times if they have been short staffed and are very behind with workload and we are unfamiliar with the goings on at each site/don't know anyone etc etc.

Nobody else in our team ever offers to take a turn to go elsewhere - it always falls to myself and sometimes other colleague, but mostly me. Nobody else even gets asked.

Manager had a message yesterday saying one of the sites was really short staffed and requested our help for 3/4 days this week. Manager announced this to everyone and emphasised that it was "only fair" that everyone takes a turn. I put myself forward and went yesterday. Nobody else offered and there was stony silence. Boss didn't raise it with anyone else at the time and my other colleague also got pulled to another site for the day. We both said at the time that we would prefer not to have to do this all week and that other staff should take a turn.

End of day yesterday, both colleague and I get messages asking us to work elsewhere - I say fine, but ask why nobody else is taking a turn and am told it's too awkward for them to travel (all sites are within a 5 mile radius, some colleagues drive and there is regular bus service for those who don't).

It is in our contract that we may be required to work elsewhere on occassion - as much as I don't want to be petty and say no, I think it's shit that others aren't even being considered whilst it all falls to my colleague and I. She feels the same.

The others have also outwardly said how awful and stressful working at this specific site has been in the past (it was actually fine and they haven't been there in at least 4 years) but are happy to let me suffer it alone all week.

Manager is generally pretty good and we get along well, I don't want to make life difficult for her by refusing, and also don't think anyone should refuse what is in their contract.

Sorry that was quite long winded.

Would this irritate you as well?

Ask your Boss for a pay rise, for taking on everyone else’s responsibilities as per their contracts.
If they say no, stop volunteering and explain why if asked.
Your colleagues are hiding behind your manager’s “request for volunteers” to convince themselves it is optional.
If it isn’t, your manager should make this clear to them, or remunerate your additional effort accordingly (and retrospectively, too)

It's up to your Manager to manage.

Next time you literally do not volunteer at all and stay silent. Even when the silence gets deafening you still stay silent.

If then directly asked "will you go Tyrozet" you calmly and politely mention that you have been one of the people constantly volunteering and that in all fairness it is now time for others to step up to the plate and take their turns at visiting the other sites as you have been super accommodating for a long period of time and it should not just fall down to you anymore.

Manager then needs to manage the situation from there and not ask you to fill the gap again.

Stop volunteering. If you are asked directly, say that you have worked at other sites X number of times, and your colleagues haven’t. Suggest your manager might want to draw up a rota for temporary cover at other sites, if people aren’t volunteering. Although managers are paid to manage, and she should have done this already.

Why did you say fine if you didn’t want to do it? You shouldn’t have said fine when he messaged you. You should have replied I volunteered and worked x site today - boss said everyone was to take a turn. Full stop end of conversation. Not your problem. You need to be assertive.
I’d add up how many days you have agreed to work elsewhere. I’d request to speak to manager in factual way. You don’t mind taking turn but no more. It’s your manager failing to manage not your problem to solve.

OP, you do need to refuse this time, as unless you make it difficult for your manager they will never address the fact that it's unfair - why would they, as you make it so easy for them to carry on?

You are not refusing, btw. You need to reframe that in your mind. You have already said yes and taken your turn this week. Now, it's someone else's turn.

So if you aree asked directly, you reply: "I've already done my turn this week, so it's down to someone else in the team to cover." And repeat. That's not refusing, that's being clear that you already said yes.

And next time, if it's over a period of days: "I'll take one shift as I did last time, on Monday, and then I'll leave it to you guys to cover the rest of the week." And do not budge.

If you carry on covering, then your manager has NO reason to put their big girl pants on and make the system fairer. You need to - reasonably, politely but nevertheless firmly - make it her problem and not yours.

In terms of refusing if asked directly you need to keep own log of dates worked and manager comments. Deal with everything in writing.
So if you are directly asked as no one else volunteered again email saying I’ve already worked x days off site this month. Manager x said turns were to be taken. Not everyone in team has had turn yet. If manager keeps requesting you cover I’d refer to HR.

Practise saying "Well I did it last time, who's next on the rota?" and immediately going back to doing what you were doing. Also make a note of each time you get sent elsewhere, so that you can bring it up in your appraisal and request addition remuneration for taking on the additional work.

YANBU to be annoyed but you are also enabling this to happen. You need to put your foot down. If you don't want to leave them in the lurch for today, then say I'll do this today but not for the rest of the week and we need to move to rota system after that.

This is the problem with being too helpful. Now you are rightly sick of being taken advantage of, your manager and your colleagues will start blaming you because the whole thing has become unfair. Your manager isn't doing their job and so the rest don't see why they should step up. I'd find some excuse as to why I couldn't go for a couple of weeks so the manager has to find someone else without it looking like you are directly criticising her. Some ailment that means you can just about work but cant really travel.

[quote Tyrozet]@tympanic sorry you had to go through that - especially when you were pregnant. I hope you got a good outcome in the end?

I think I'm generally very obliging as an employee and I do what I can to be flexible and not make a fuss, therefore it's easier to ask me/ put me on the spot than to piss other employees off who don't want to help.
I can understand my manager's point of view in that she doesn't want a negative atmosphere which is what would happen if she put her foot down and made them do it, but at the same time its shite feeling like a pushover and I've gone from being ok with an occassional change of scenery and meeting new people to resenting the extra pressure by having to do this constantly.[/quote]
Your second paragraph reminds me of a conversation I had with my Physics teacher over 50 years ago. There was a Sixth Form project to turn a disused part of the building into a Common Room and I had done most of the grunt work, until it came time to select soft furnishings etc. I had a moan to him and he said that the worst thing one could do in life was to appear willing and able, one would always be taken for granted. Odd that it has stuck in my mind though I didn't really take it on board, one of my criticisms in work assessments was that I didn't delegate enough to more junior members of staff.

Your manager should be managing, not taking advantage of your good nature.

If she asks you directly, you could say, "Well, I've already been X times this week. Isn't it someone else's turn?"

But before you get asked again, go with the other colleague who also gets put on, to the manager and say you seem to be doing more than your share at the other sites when others are not going at all. As that doesn't seem very fair could she please draw up a rota?

I put myself forward and went yesterday. Nobody else offered and there was stony silence
YABU, don’t put yourself forward if you don’t want to go! And if they ask you refuse to go until everybody had a turn.

Well the manager needs to manage and draw up a rota.

And you do need to stop volunteering if you don’t want to do it. Say no not my turn.

Come up with excuses for why you can't. Have to go home to take pet to the vets, child to doctors, hair appointment, whatever. And if you are further away, you'll miss the appointment.

The work around that the employer could use is for people to report in to normal site and then be taxid to where they are required send brought back at the end of the day, there could be no excuse then surely.

[quote Tyrozet]@tympanic sorry you had to go through that - especially when you were pregnant. I hope you got a good outcome in the end?

I think I'm generally very obliging as an employee and I do what I can to be flexible and not make a fuss, therefore it's easier to ask me/ put me on the spot than to piss other employees off who don't want to help.
I can understand my manager's point of view in that she doesn't want a negative atmosphere which is what would happen if she put her foot down and made them do it, but at the same time its shite feeling like a pushover and I've gone from being ok with an occassional change of scenery and meeting new people to resenting the extra pressure by having to do this constantly.[/quote]
Not a good outcome in the end, but that’s a whole other story!

It is a shame being “obliging” is seen as something to be used rather than appreciated. It’s a really good quality to have, but difficult to pull back when you realise it’s being taken advantage of. It’s also a shame there are so many poor leaders out there for whom laziness and favouritism trumps fairness. The problem isn’t you, OP. It’s them. I really hope your work ethic is acknowledged before long.

Your 'manager' needs to manage the department properly! He/she needs to start with a rota so everyone gets to work at the different site so it's fair all round. Why keep saying yes if you are unhappy that others aren't pulling their weight? Just stop saying yes!

I do have an arrow notched, and I don't know whether to actually have words or just pick my battles and suck it up in the meantime.

This puts you in a strong position. Where do you want to work the most? Does one have better opportunities for progression?

I wouldn’t just walk. You’ve said you’re a “people pleaser” and this is a significant weakness in any position. You’re likely to be put in the same position most places to some extent. So even if you do intend walking, I would use this opportunity to practice standing up for yourself.

ROTA
that's it

I think manager needs a stern word and a rota!

I am usually the first to volunteer not because I am a 'pleaser' but I like change and meeting new people. But it can be a nuisance if thought to be the 'odd-job lad'.

YANBU, but if I was your line manager, I'd be fully aware of what was going on and very grateful to be able to rely on your support. Next time there was a pay rise/promotion/bonus on offer, or you wanted time off over Christmas/the Jubilee weekend, or redundancies were on the cards, I'd be remembering who had gone over and above and who hadn't.

As others have said - STOP VOLUNTEERING!!!

Dental nurse? Your manager is a wet blanket.
You might as well get an agency job and get paid more for going to different locations!

Definitely practise saying "it isn't my turn" and "I can't actually". If somebody has the gall to ask why not, produce your log of how many times you have already done it, and explain that you can't condone unfair working practices. Then go to "who's on the rota?" Then smile sweetly and go and do your job. They can sort it out; you know it isn't your turn so you don't have to even be there.