Page 7 | ‘A walk’ for a first date - yes or no?

ChargingBuck · 24/01/2022 13:50

@DoodleBelle

I wouldn’t like a walk as a first date. It screams I don’t want to spend any money on you.

It's a date, not an appointment with a sex worker.

RobotValkyrie · 24/01/2022 13:52

Sounds like a nice first date to me, but I would want to know the exact route in advance to convince myself it's safe and the distance feels right for my level of fitness.

Itsnotover · 24/01/2022 13:52

@WindyState

Surely going for a walk and a chat is an ideal way to get to know someone intially?

Are you annoyed you aren't getting a free lunch out of it?

Um, what?! Are you just a goady so and so?

betwixtlives · 24/01/2022 13:53

@Itsnotover

Thank you. I don’t mean physically lazy, I mean can’t be bothered to think of an actual date. I like walks so it’s not that I have a problem with the actual walk, rather I’m scoping out this person.

why haven’t YOU made the effort to ‘think of an actual date’? Why’s it up to them?

ChargingBuck · 24/01/2022 13:54

@4thtimethecharm that is such a lovely 'date story'!
All the visuals came through too, like in a novel ... get scribbling :)

Jux · 24/01/2022 13:55

You can walk through a town and people-scope, window shop etc which useful when stuck for conversation, you can dive into a coffee bar or even a shop if the conversation goes that way. I remember dates where we just walked about central London, one time my date tried on top hats, a dinner suit, all sorts and then I tried on ball gowns and some very chi-chi stuff in a couple of those Bond Street shops; chatting and laughing all the time. We had such fun. Still friends.

WitchWithoutChips · 24/01/2022 13:56

Great first date, but from a safety point of view make sure it is in e.g. a park with plenty of people around and not a ramble somewhere very remote.

Itsnotover · 24/01/2022 13:56

@crochetmonkey74

depends if it is a first date or it is your first meeting.

I don't want to be stuck on a walk for a first meeting - I want that to be fairly short so I can see if I want to go on a first date

It would be a first meeting.

I don’t think eating is a good idea on a first date. Actually, there was this one guy who wanted me to come to his house so he could cook for me. It was too much and I told him so. And when we finally did meet, there was no chemistry so imagine if he wasted all that time for nothing?

Mummy195 · 24/01/2022 13:56

Don't complain about him being cheap and not making an effort from here on out. He just showed you his true colours.

If that is an issue for you, sift them by going out with ones who would like to know you over a romantic dinner or at least drinks at a bar / pub or somewhere interesting.🤷‍♀️

Itsnotover · 24/01/2022 13:57

why haven’t YOU made the effort to ‘think of an actual date’? Why’s it up to them?

Why are you so rude? I suggested we go for a drink. Isn’t that the norm? 🙄

NatashaBedwouldbenice · 24/01/2022 13:58

DP and I met at a party, but our second date was a drive out and a walk. There was a red flag (that I completely ignored) about DP's zero sense of direction but apart from that it was a success. Lots of things to talk about en route if we'd needed to fill a silence and it's kind of easier to talk when you're not sat opposite each other. We did stop for a meal too and stayed out for hours longer than expected. Partly because he got us lost looking for thisgreatlittlecafethatsaroundheresomewhere.

Aww, happy days, this has put a big smile on my face

ChangeMustCome · 24/01/2022 13:58

I always ask to go for a dog walk on a first date. My dog is a much better judge of character than me 😉

mogsrus · 24/01/2022 13:59

That’s what I did the first time, a walk and ended up in a coffee house with some cake, it’s gentle,very relaxed & no stress, just warm sunshine, hopefully listening to each other, absolutely no pressure

Getupoffthesofa · 24/01/2022 13:59

Stay safe. I went on an internet first date and it was only when unrealised I was on a hill off not only the road but the path and hadn’t seen one other person for an hour that I realised I was crazy!!!!! All worked out ok (safety wise, not the date) but def stick to peopled areas!

knittingaddict · 24/01/2022 14:01

Its fine, but even better if a coffee was involved.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 24/01/2022 14:02

A walk as a date isn't for me whatsoever, especially in the winter. Just ugh, makes me want to huddle inside and not remotely romantic. Most people saying they liked walks said they went for coffee, so it wasn't really a walk date, more a coffee date with a bit of strolling around, which I'm fine with. I like to see people face to face. I don't think walking alongside someone gives you enough eye to eye contact, you need to know if you fancy them a bit! Obviously it's worked for a few posters, but a walk on its own is lazy to me, unless it's somewhere very interesting (like in a city to see something) and I wouldn't walk around a country park or anywhere more remote with a stranger, that's why coffee shops are perfect.

I don't mind dinner for a date though, I mean a walk is hideously embarrassing if you don't fancy them and you still have to trudge around for a while, you can't just bolt off, personally I prefer to see their face, and relax in the warm.

I need a bit more effort than a walk round the park, but then I don't want to go for walks all weekend as my hobby/shared time anyway as it's not my thing, nice early dinner or brunch all the way, coffee failing that. Cinema also good if you meet up for a coffee first.

crochetmonkey74 · 24/01/2022 14:03

I did chatting by message, video call then a first outdoor coffee shop meeting ( very short) then if they still seemed nice after all that - then we organised first date.

I agree no eating on first date- but I don't mind a cinema date with a drink before or after- gives you something to talk about.
I don't go on a 'date' until I have done a video call and a coffee meet though- after those two, I consider it a date

Pluvia · 24/01/2022 14:05

WindyState wasn't being goady, OP. You do sound from your posts as if you're expecting to get something tangible from a date, whether it's a meal or tickets or a special experience. It's the 21st century: you can buy him or her dinner if you really don't want to go for a walk.

You seem to think that anyone who isn't prepared to spend money on you is tight. Perhaps someone who doesn't go throwing money away on underwhelming or potentially disastrous first dates is someone showing good sense. If I wanted to go to the theatre or a concert or an event I really wanted to enjoy I wouldn't risk taking someone I didn't know. You might ruin it for me. Meet, suss out whether this is likely to work, then invest. Sounds sensible to me.

Allsorts1 · 24/01/2022 14:05

Hmm I would pass! Seems like they just don’t want to pay for a drink/think of somewhere nice to take you. Have a walk with a friend, dating is meant to be for romance!

maddy68 · 24/01/2022 14:05

I think that's a great first date?

Itsnotover · 24/01/2022 14:06

@Pluvia what a load of rubbish. I don't let people spend money on me who I don't know. Why don't you read my other posts? You are assuming a great deal

Gilly12345 · 24/01/2022 14:07

Personally I think an ideal first date is meet for coffee (coffee shop) or pub for a drink.

I definitely wouldn’t be going for a walk anywhere secluded for example and he/she may have a dog with them.

betwixtlives · 24/01/2022 14:07

@Itsnotover

why haven’t YOU made the effort to ‘think of an actual date’? Why’s it up to them?

Why are you so rude? I suggested we go for a drink. Isn’t that the norm? 🙄

if you found my post rude and find the idea of a walk insulting, perhaps you’re a little too thin skinned for dating

AngelinaFibres · 24/01/2022 14:09

@Itsnotover

AIBU to think it’s lazy? In a way, I can see how walking around with someone can be a good way to get to know what they’re like but for a first date?

I’m trying to sift out the ones to avoid. Which I am never good at.

I went on a lot of dates after my divorce. Early 2000s so no online dating . We were matched through a dating agency and they were always blind dates. I would strongly recommend that , if this a first meeting, you meet for a coffee in town. You will know within seconds whether you are attracted to that person and them to you. If they are an absolute no then its just a quick coffee and you can carry on with your day. If they are a hhmmm maybe , then it's a longer coffee and if its holy shit marry me now, then it's coffee , lunch etc. I met a lovely man , who I have now been married to for 18 years. He was a blind date and was a hhhmmmm maybe until we chatted for a bit. I also met others that weren't into me or I was absolutely not attracted to in any way. People will tell you that deciding so quickly is shallow. Believe me, if they don't even register as a hhhmmmmm maybe they never will and a walk will become awfully long

crochetmonkey74 · 24/01/2022 14:10

@Pluvia

WindyState wasn't being goady, OP. You do sound from your posts as if you're expecting to get something tangible from a date, whether it's a meal or tickets or a special experience. It's the 21st century: you can buy him or her dinner if you really don't want to go for a walk.

You seem to think that anyone who isn't prepared to spend money on you is tight. Perhaps someone who doesn't go throwing money away on underwhelming or potentially disastrous first dates is someone showing good sense. If I wanted to go to the theatre or a concert or an event I really wanted to enjoy I wouldn't risk taking someone I didn't know. You might ruin it for me. Meet, suss out whether this is likely to work, then invest. Sounds sensible to me.

That is NOWHERE in anything the OP has said!

Also, I don't think many women want to be stuck on a long event date with someone they don't know

I thought OP was just asking if it's a bit of a passive or lazy date