What does MN have against money poems?

[ThanksIGotItInMorrisons]

Reading another post this morning where OP mentioned a wedding invite had a money poem in it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given that now days many couples live together and have kids before they wed. I totally get that they maybe don’t want to make a wedding list at a store , and don’t want to end up with 5 toasters and 6 kettles etc. It’s hard to think of a gift for a couple who already have a home and everything in it... it’s much easier to give them £10, £20, whatever you can afford surely than buy something they probably already have? Personally I think it’s a nice polite way of saying this, IF you want to get them a gift. So what’s the reason that a lot of us on here think it’s the worst thing you can do? I honestly don’t understand ...
YABU it’s rude and cheeky
YANBU it makes perfect sense to me

All the poems i have read say they do not have t buy a gift but of they feel the need then money
So there not expecting anything yet many would not want to go and give nothing so its giving them an option
To give money instead
Why people find it grabby is beyond me how is it different to saying and and here is our wedding list with a list of items that could be quote expensive which is what many did in the past

The fact people are moaning about a poem but using the word 'twee ' says it all really

What's wrong with "twee"? Sometimes it's exactly the right word to express what you don't like about something.

(Although it's apparently being reclaimed by the hipsters)

Seems my poem has caused a bit of a flap.

Yes we sent it. I wrote it myself taking some inspiration from Goggle.

Re pennies, well as I say we didn’t want to seem too grabby, more than happy for friends and family to give us whatever they have be it pence or pounds. One relative gave an envelope with 23p, fine, very happy with that.

As I said we did still get a toaster and loo brush so thinking that the poem im currently drafting for the invite for our 3 year wedding anniversary do should be more specific and list more items we don’t want. Can anyone think of something that rhymes with Instant Pot? So far I have:

So come with your hair shampooed, rinsed and hot (as in from the hair drier or curling tongs etc),
But please understand, take it from me, we really don’t want an Instant Pot.

Not sure if people will get the ‘hot’ reference though and could distract from the ask.

@DustyDood

Seems my poem has caused a bit of a flap.

Yes we sent it. I wrote it myself taking some inspiration from Goggle.

Re pennies, well as I say we didn’t want to seem too grabby, more than happy for friends and family to give us whatever they have be it pence or pounds. One relative gave an envelope with 23p, fine, very happy with that.

As I said we did still get a toaster and loo brush so thinking that the poem im currently drafting for the invite for our 3 year wedding anniversary do should be more specific and list more items we don’t want. Can anyone think of something that rhymes with Instant Pot? So far I have:

So come with your hair shampooed, rinsed and hot (as in from the hair drier or curling tongs etc),
But please understand, take it from me, we really don’t want an Instant Pot.

Not sure if people will get the ‘hot’ reference though and could distract from the ask.

You used the abbreviations DH and DW in your wedding poem, did you? 😉

@DustyDood

Your company will be super
We don't want alot
But if it isn't too grabby
A Wang Instant Pot

@DrSbaitso none, and I don't see what in my post would cause you to make that comment!

I've been married 26years and we didn't even have a gift list at our wedding, people just brought what they thought and we were genuinely grateful.

However, I think that the newer trend to just give money is much easier and more eco for everyone. I am happier giving money.

"We've been married three long years now,
We've taken good times with the rough;
We feel this deserves rewarding
But with cash, please, not more stuff.'

Christ, I've never heard of these, just googled - they are dire.

I don't like people asking for gifts or cash in the invitation. If you want to have a wedding list on request, which could easily include cash request, then that's fine.

But if you ARE going to just baldly ask - then just fucking ask - a twee poem is just a cruel and unusual punishment.

I think I’d send someone a bog brush if they sent me that poem

I tend to give gift certificates for Home Depot at weddings. There’s always something you need there, even if it’s just light bulbs and cleaning supplies. The twee poems are in very poor taste. It’s more tasteful to let the wedding party and parents to spread the word. I was happy to get a card and candy in a yard sale bowl.

No, I used our first names in the actual invites. DW and DH aren’t our initials. It’s mumsnet slang for ‘Dear Wife’ and ‘Dear Hubby’ and what people typically use here in place of real names.

@DrSbaitso

No, I used our first names in the actual invites. DW and DH aren’t our initials. It’s mumsnet slang for ‘Dear Wife’ and ‘Dear Hubby’ and what people typically use here in place of real names.

I doesn't bother me, but it is naff and cheesy.

A couple whose wedding me and DH are going to next month have done this, and it's so cringe. But they are really lovely. So we will forgive them!

They have been dating for 5 years, living together 4 years, have a 2 year old. They are both 33, and she had her own place for 7 years, so they have tons of stuff, and need nothing.

So they prefer money. It's not that bad to ask IMO, as what's the point in having shit loads of stuff you already have??! SO I picked YANBU.

@DustyDood

No, I used our first names in the actual invites. DW and DH aren’t our initials. It’s mumsnet slang for ‘Dear Wife’ and ‘Dear Hubby’ and what people typically use here in place of real names.

I think @DrSbaitso was joking.

@DustyDood

Re pennies, well as I say we didn’t want to seem too grabby, more than happy for friends and family to give us whatever they have be it pence or pounds. One relative gave an envelope with 23p, fine, very happy with that.

Nah! 23p? Why did they give THAT? Surely most people attending a wedding can afford at least a tenner?!

I’m dead serious!

@HelloFrostyMorning I’m starting to think that perhaps like apparently most people here they are not a fan of poems in invites. This thread has been a real eye opener. Wondering if I should acrostic the draft I am writing for 3rd anni bash which lists every item we own (and therefore don’t want to be given) in a rhyming couplet.

This whole thread was worth it for the "you drive me round the bend/Fuck you" poem and the Dood's contributions. I'm in heaven.

*Meant scrap not acrostic!

@DrSbaitso

I’m glad my contributions were met with good cheer,
Now there’s just one final thing I’d like you to hear:
By way of thanks boxed gifts I need not,
So just bung me a tenner, ‘cos that’ll hit the spot.

[quote DustyDood]@HelloFrostyMorning I’m starting to think that perhaps like apparently most people here they are not a fan of poems in invites. This thread has been a real eye opener. Wondering if I should acrostic the draft I am writing for 3rd anni bash which lists every item we own (and therefore don’t want to be given) in a rhyming couplet.[/quote]

@Firstruleofsoupover

I wished I had not asked for money or vouchers when I got married, it does seem a bit grabby looking back, as we were already living together and both working full time on good salaries. One wedding I went to, though, we were "invited" to give a donation to a specific charity. The morning after, everyone who had not yet donated was blanket emailed by the groom, with "I notice you have not yet done it! Please do it asap and be generous as this is a very worthy cause" type message. He had checked overnight!! I thought that was well off.

You can tell what sort of wedding night he had!