To ask how long you were together before you got married?

[MeSanniesareBrannies]

How long were you in a relationship before you got engaged/married? I was with DP for almost three years when we got engaged, when we get married, we’ll have been together almost four. Speaking to acquaintances (not close friends) it seems like that’s unusual and we’ve been hasty. A work colleague was particularly taken aback and informed me that ‘short engagements are a recipe for disaster’. I thought this was a bit bizarre!

I’m unworried about my relationship, but I’m intrigued…what’s everyone else’s norm?

We’re early 30’s professionals in London, postgrad education, good jobs, good pay, no prior marriages or kids. I think that for our demographic 3-5 years is pretty standard, but happy to be told I’m wrong.

met at 25
engaged after 3 years and married 10 months later
Celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary last year
For us the engagement was the decision to get married and went about arranging the wedding the next summer

Engaged after 3 months, married after 3 years

I don’t think you’re hasty at all - seems quite normal timescale to me

Oh and married 19 years

We married after being together just over 3y, following a 7 month engagement. I knew I wanted to marry him, and didn’t see the need for a long engagement.
I don’t think you’re being hasty at all, and wouldn’t consider that a particularly short engagement.
Congratulations 🎉

10 years but it takes my DH a while to get round to anything so please don’t consider his timescale typical by any means. There’s a new towel rail to fit in our house; it’s been waiting 3 weeks 😬 xo

We were together 22 months before engagement and then got married 11 months later. Been together 4 years now.

9 years. Overall together 20 years then divorced.

I lived with XH about four years until I gave him an ultimatum regarding marriage. With hindsight, I should have just given him the boot.

@ElCaMum

Got together August Engaged September Married March So all in all 7 months. Been married 13 years this year, happy with two kids!

I wouldn't say you've been hasty but then I'm probably not a good barometer on that - lol!!

Same ,met in the February engaged after a few weeks, married In the August same year so six months ,we have been together 17 years and two children.

We met in November 1996 and he proposed about 6 months later. We got married in August 1998. Still happily together .

Together for just over 3 years when we go engaged, engaged for 18 months (covid pushed that back), been married for 18 months.

Moved in together after 5 years, engaged at 8 years, married at 9 years together, now married 20 years

Engaged after 9 years and married at ten. DC came shortly thereafter.
I met DH at 19 and had no inclination of being married for many years, so no point getting engaged until that point came. Engagement means setting a date IMO.
Together over 30 years now.

3 months dating, knew of each other a few months through work before that.
Married 24 years now.
My parents knew each other six months, now married 47 years.

Met at 28, 18 months dating, 6 months enhagement. Married 17 years.. then divorced. Still friends

Congratulations!

We were friends for about 4 months before getting together, together 4 months before he moved in. He proposed on the 1 year anniversary of our first date, and we got married a year later, so just over 2 years together in total.

We've had a similar reactions (about being hasty) from a couple of people but one of those was my ex so not exactly unbiased.

I'm late 30's and he's in his mid 40's. I have 2 DC from my previous relationship. In our time together we've been through a pandemic, 3 miscarriages and redundancy. So in our case, I think it was very much a case of we knew we wanted to get married (neither of us have been married before) so what exactly would we be waiting for???

Engaged after 15m
Married 17 months after that

You're not hasty. In your 30s 3 years is a chunky amount of time to date before being engaged.

What's the point of a long engagement on top, just for the sake of it. What would you be waiting for? Unless there are practical reasons to delay, you get engaged to get married!

Engaged after 2 years, married 1 year after. We were only 23 when we met which seems mad now but we have been together 8 years now, have 2 kids and a lovely life and are very much in love. I think there probably is a correlation between short and hasty engagements and failed marriages but only because chaotic people who love drama are more likely to do things too quickly. I think there are probably plenty of level headed people who 'just know' their values align and have short engagements that result in long and happy marriages.

10 yrs. He took forever to propose, it really took the romance out of it.

I think getting engaged after 2-4 yrs and married a yr later is perfect. I’d much rather have done that.

Living together 6weeks
Engaged not at all in the conventional sense
Married 19 years in
Together 32 years now.
And very happy

Hasty? I don't think so.

Try 3 months dating, then 3 months engaged, then 35 + years married (so far).

We got married after 7 years, but we're together since we were 18/19. We were engaged for 10 months while we organised our wedding, I didn't want to be engaged for years.
A straw poll of friends from school etc would suggest a long engagement spells disaster for the marriage. Several couples who had been engaged for several years had marriages that lasted less than a year! 😱

Together 6 months, then engaged for 12 months. We've been married 17 years now.

Engaged at 9 months and married at 15 months.

Going into our 17th year of marriage.

We just felt that if we were meant to be together, why wait? Surely by the time you've lived together for a few months you know if it's working and can get at least engaged.

Five years and two kids, we decided more for legal reasons to get married. We’re evenly matched with regards to income and assets at that point. We weren’t when we initially got together and I didn’t want to sign away half my DC’s inheritance.

We didn’t have a long engagement, we decided we were getting married picked a date and got married in a year from deciding we wanted to.