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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH dogwalks with another woman

612 replies

DMOB3 · 23/01/2022 11:29

AIBU to not want my DH to disappear on a sunday moring with a female colleague, who is also married. This happens intermittently. He never says in advance that he's going but always admits where he's been. Plus his phone always tells me where he is. Am I being paranoid? Last week he said he wanted to give me a lie in. Late evening (11.30 pm) she WhatsApp him to thank him for the walk.

OP posts:
IDontHaveThePelvisForAFuton · 23/01/2022 11:39

I wouldn't be worried if my dh did this occasionally. They've obviously got work in common. The late night message is a bit odd but not enough for huge concern.

I guess I'd be worried if we had issues in our relationship or he was behaving differently or being secretive with his phone. Is there anything like that, op?

KarmaStar · 23/01/2022 11:40

Admits where he's been?
Does he know you don't like it?why don't you trust him?is there history?
Think about why is upsetting you.You can always walk your dog with him?

Tal45 · 23/01/2022 11:43

Why don't you ask to go to and meet her. I think it's very sus that he's not telling you ahead of time and making out that he's doing you a favour.

Santahasjoinedww · 23/01/2022 11:43

Are you suspecting walk is a euphemism?

Bagelsandbrie · 23/01/2022 11:44

I wouldn’t like that. I’d be getting up early and coming along to see how she reacts.

HandWash · 23/01/2022 11:46

The cutesy 11.30pm 'Thanks for the walk' would be the part I didn't like.

SueSaid · 23/01/2022 11:46

It's seems weird to me. Yes men can have female friends but you don't go dog walking with them. Even if your dh thinks it's innocent at this stage I'd bet there's some kind of flirting going on.

Suggest you go with them next time, see how that goes down.

Toottooot · 23/01/2022 12:01

Do you think he’s shagging her on these walks?

Georama · 23/01/2022 12:10

It's seems weird to me. Yes men can have female friends but you don't go dog walking with them.

Why can't people go dog walking with their friends?

girlmom21 · 23/01/2022 12:18

What do you mean by his phone tells you where he's been? Do you track him?
Are they actually walking?

Why don't you go with him next time and meet her? If you suggest it, how does he act?

The late night texts are weird.

Bagelsandbrie · 23/01/2022 12:20

@HandWash

The cutesy 11.30pm 'Thanks for the walk' would be the part I didn't like.
Yes I agree, she’s trying to encourage him to engage in a conversation with her late at night.
gannett · 23/01/2022 12:21

I sent off a round of Whatsapp messages at 11pm last night, hadn't got round to replying for a few days and just wanted to clear the backlog. Didn't know that would be deemed inappropriate by the territorial pissers of MN.

Dog owners go walking with other dog owners literally all the time.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/01/2022 12:22

It's a reg flag for me, sorry.

girlmom21 · 23/01/2022 12:24

How close does she live? Are the walks planned? I often end up walking my dog with random men who we know in a neighbourly way.

Witchcraftandhokum · 23/01/2022 12:26

Any sympathy I would have had vanished with you fact that you can track his phone. There is no way I could be with anyone who thought this was OK.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 23/01/2022 12:27

@JaniieJones

It's seems weird to me. Yes men can have female friends but you don't go dog walking with them. Even if your dh thinks it's innocent at this stage I'd bet there's some kind of flirting going on.

Suggest you go with them next time, see how that goes down.

They cant go dog walking with female friends? Jesus.

Seriously? Dog walking? You wouldnt allow your husband to go dog walking with a female friend?

Mumsnet is bloody nuts sometimes.

Viviennemary · 23/01/2022 12:28

She is after your DH. Texting married men late at night. Not on. Go out with him next time.

Missey85 · 23/01/2022 12:28

Nothing wrong with going for a dog walk what's wrong with that his allowed friends

Snuggledupforwinter · 23/01/2022 12:29

I dog walk with a male friend and go for a coffee sometimes - doesn't mean I'm having sex with him!
But if something feels "off" to you get up early and offer to go with him (and make sure he can't warn her). His/her reaction/body language might tell you more than him hiding stuff on his phone?

TimeForTeaAndG · 23/01/2022 12:30

So your DH gets up early on a Sunday (assume you are having a live-in?) to walk the dog and has someone who is also up early that he knows from work to accompany him making it less boring.

If you're that bothered, get up on the Sunday and be ready to go with him to see what he says.

IDontHaveThePelvisForAFuton · 23/01/2022 12:31

@Witchcraftandhokum

Any sympathy I would have had vanished with you fact that you can track his phone. There is no way I could be with anyone who thought this was OK.
I presume he's aware of this though? We have a family life360 but we are all aware we have it and can switch it off if we want to or just turn off location.
TimeForTeaAndG · 23/01/2022 12:32

@Viviennemary

She is after your DH. Texting married men late at night. Not on. Go out with him next time.
Oh get a grip. Some people don't have their phones on them all day and just do all their life admin at a time that suits them.

Is there a cut off time when single people have to no longer text a friend? They really should make that clearer when you buy a phone.

girlmom21 · 23/01/2022 12:33

@IDontHaveThePelvisForAFuton but that surely doesn't alert you to someone going out? You must still have to actively check up on someone?

britnay · 23/01/2022 12:33

Maybe she feels safer walking with another person?

Sundancerintherain · 23/01/2022 12:34

Good god, some of the replies 😯.
Its dog walking, not a romantic night in a hotel.
Absolutely no issue for me .

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