DH dogwalks with another woman

[DMOB3]

AIBU to not want my DH to disappear on a sunday moring with a female colleague, who is also married. This happens intermittently. He never says in advance that he's going but always admits where he's been. Plus his phone always tells me where he is. Am I being paranoid? Last week he said he wanted to give me a lie in. Late evening (11.30 pm) she WhatsApp him to thank him for the walk.

@JaniieJones

It's seems weird to me. Yes men can have female friends but you don't go dog walking with them. Even if your dh thinks it's innocent at this stage I'd bet there's some kind of flirting going on.

Suggest you go with them next time, see how that goes down.

You can't go dogwalking with mates who have a dog???

That's just plain weird....

I think what would bother me is that he didn't want to go dog walking with me. We work long hours so our spare time is spent doing things together.

I dont think my DH would be happy if I regular met one of my colleagues for a dog walk whilst he was sat at home.

@Crazykatie

Dogging, possibly, I would be very suspicious, walk the dog some other time seems a good idea

You clearly have no idea what dogging is!

My phone is matched up with an ancient iPad. When I cycle into work, my husband uses it to make sure I got to work safely. It came in handy the time I fell off and he had to come and take me to a&e to get what was a badly fractured shoulder looked at (ambulance was 2.5 hour wait!) I'm aware of it, he only uses it occasionally and I can always turn it off.

I don't think the scenario is too worrying, it's Sunday morning after all. You could always suggest going along and if it's truly platonic neither should mind. The text message wouldn't bother me either. I send text messages at any hour. I don't expect responses at any hour!

@ahcmonnow

Absolute non issue, they are walking dogs and picking up shite. The fact she has a vagina is of no bearing.

Thanks for the walk.....simply politeness.

The amount of paranoid, jealous women on here is unreal!

Texting at 11.30pm is a red flag. This woman is trying to engage Op's husband for a text chat, late at night. It's not normal. And yes, I'm a bit jaded. I've seen this all before, including my best friend who started texting my (now Ex) husband late at night, saying she was in the bath with a glass of wine. I mean, why would you do that, unless you're trying to get him to imagine that scene? Guess what, they started an affair shortly afterwards. There's only one reason why a woman texts a man at 11.30pm. And it's not to talk about the walk they had together, some 12 hours ago. "Thanks for the walk" is an opener for more chat.

Op, does he reply? I'd be looking at that whole chat, tbh.

@HelloFrostyMorning - I have a group of male abs female friends I sometimes dog walk with. We have a WhatsApp group and sometimes send messages in the evening!!!! Yet I am utterly disinterested in anything other than friendship with any of them.

We live in a modern progressive state. It’s perfectly normal to dog walk or message people of the opposite sex (and news flash- some people are gay or bi). I don’t see what all the hysteria is about. You’re being controlling imo.

Perhaps some people are confusing dog walking with actual dogging? If not, there are some proper paranoid, controlling posters here.

@LittleMissTake

It’s time to worry if the dog comes back with clean paws at this time of year.

@godmum56

my lovely but innocent late DH got caught out like this.....I warned him that she was misreading his friendship and he thought I was over reacting until she made a pass at him. he was honestly shocked.

This. ^ It does happen, and from what the OP said it sounds a bit like she is more interested in him than he is in her. However, some men will take he opportunity for a quick fling if offered it on a plate though.

And what the actual fuck is this woman doing messaging the OP's DH on whatsapp saying 'thanks for the walk?' Is she hoping his wife (the OP) will see it and it will cause trouble between them? Sounds very much like it to me.

IDGAF what anyone says or thinks of me, IMO this is as suspicious as fuck.

Most of the time, if someone is worried or suspicious in cases like this, they're more likely to be right than wrong.

OMG my last post was totally in jest but it seems a PP actually does suspect dogging!! 😱 🤣

My exh went out regularly to walk the dogs/shag his new gf.
Took a while for me to find out

The jury's out for me on the 11.30pm 'Thanks for the walk' thing tbh.

@HRMtheQuern

They must look like a couple going out walking the dogs. It's not on. They can catch up in another way

But they’re not. Mumsnet is so weird sometimes.

Not telling you in advance of the arranged dig walking is telling me something isn't completely above board.
The text would make me suspect further.

If you're that worried get up and join him. There's lots of nice folks on dog walks in the morning. Would you worry if they're gym buddies

Shit.
My DH dog walks with women most days

I need to panic and LTB
or maybe I can treat him like the adult that he is?

I must be really strange! I have a partner and quite a few very close male friends, I walk my dog with them, have coffee, lunch, dinner, just like I would my female friends. I would not be happy if my partner was questioning my friendships. In fact, I wouldn’t be with him if he did. He went to a different part of the could try and met up with a female friend that I don’t know, they had dinner, caught up. It never crossed my mind to question him 🤷🏻‍♀️

@DiddyHeck

The jury's out for me on the 11.30pm 'Thanks for the walk' thing tbh.

Yep this! ^ As (and some others have said,) whatsapping at almost midnight in this fashion is well fucking weird. As I said, is this woman hoping the OP sees it and it causes trouble between them?

Sorry, as I and some others have said...

@DiddyHeck

The jury's out for me on the 11.30pm 'Thanks for the walk' thing tbh.

Oh but but that's what all married men and women do silly!

Honestly the amount of naive people who think texting a married man at 11.30pm to thank them for a dog walk is v odd.

@Pleaseuniverseplease

Not telling you in advance of the arranged dig walking is telling me something isn't completely above board. The text would make me suspect further.

Agree. There are some very naive and clueless women on here.

I immediately thought of Kayleigh from Car Share going dogging with Ken from next door!

Guess what, they started an affair shortly afterwards. There's only one reason why a woman texts a man at 11.30pm.

For all we know they're paramedics and she'd just finished a night shift when they went for a walk then she was going home and straight to bed, and by 11:30pm she was back on shift.

There's rarely only one reason for anything.

@girlmom21

Guess what, they started an affair shortly afterwards. There's only one reason why a woman texts a man at 11.30pm.

For all we know they're paramedics and she'd just finished a night shift when they went for a walk then she was going home and straight to bed, and by 11:30pm she was back on shift.

There's rarely only one reason for anything.

Yeah except they're not.

@HelloFrostyMorning how do you know?

I go dog walking with an ex colleague (male). We’re both married to other people but neither of us is a twat, so all we do is walk and chat.

Perhaps your husband and his friend aren’t twats either.