To not ask for money from scratchcard win

[Geauxtigers]

OK this is pretty simple.

I always buy a £1 scratchcard to put in people's birthday cards. I've been doing this for over a decade. Last month a good friend won a decent 4 figure sum on the scratchcard I put in their card.
My husband thinks I should ask for half of it because I bought it for them.
But in my opinion I bought the scratchcard as a gift and in doing so was opening myself up to the possibility of them winning a lot of money.

If I hadn't been buying it as a gift I wouldn't habe bought the scratchcard so it's not like I bought a roll of 5 and gave them the winning one. My husband and I never argue but he's really pushing me to ask on this one. We aren't rich but we also aren't struggling so I don't know why he's so insistent that I ask for some of it.

If it was me I would offer half to the person who bought me the card, but this is because I'm fairly financially stable and I don't know the financial status of this friend but I'd suspect its not as good as ours.

So am I being unreasonable to just celebrate the win with my friend and not ask her for some of the money?

*she did say when she told me she'd won "We'll have to go put for a meal, babysitter and dinner on us" which I personally thought was lovely

[WhyYesYABU]

I wouldn't ask, for all the reasons you've listed.

[Floralnomad]

It was a gift you , shouldn’t expect her to share her winnings and I think it’s a bit weird of your husband to think she should .

[DinasCopUniform]

Your husband is crazy. You can't possibly ask her for half of the money.

[Weenurse]

I agree with you.

[WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe]

You can’t ask. The scratch card wasn’t the gift, the potential prize was and you can’t ask for half of a gift back.

[Warmduscher]

You sound far more sensible and generous than your DH, that’s for sure.

[ShitInAPyrexDish]

You are absolutely correct. You bought it as a gift, it'd be so rude to ask for some of the winnings. I'd like to think that I'd quite happily share it with the person who had given it to me, but that doesn't mean they have to.

[Beowulfthethird]

I agree with you

[Hawkins001]

To be honest if you did ask, I'm guessing it will certainly sour the friendship, I can understand your partner seeing £ but if it was only a e.g. £10 won, then I'm guessing he would not be keen on it, so why the difference just because it's more, bottom line, it was brought as a gift, intended as a gift, and would not have been brought otherwise, therefore your partner will have to keep his greed in check, as the friendship is worth more in the long run.

[TheSmallAssassin]

It was a gift. Your husband is being unreasonable to keep on banging on about it, just tell him you've made your decision, you won't change your mind, so he's just wasting his breath and being annoying, so just stop already!

[Justmuddlingalong]

You are completely reasonable and thinking straight. Your DH on the other hand...

[HappyAsASandboy]

Scratch card gifts give me anxiety for exactly this reason! My BIL used to put one in everyone's Christmas card and we'd all have to scratch them off together on Christmas Day. I used to dread it - he'd be the first to feel bitter if someone won loads of money on the card he'd bought

In my view it was a gift, regardless of the amount won or not won, and you shouldn't ask for any of it back. If they treat you to dinner then that'd be lovely.

Maybe ask your DH if he'd have been willing to give them a wodge of cash in consolation of it hadn't been a winning card? If you want to play the odds one way then you should be willing to play it the other way too ....

[Notimeforaname]

Your husband is a tight bastard. Begrudging someone's birthday present. Is he normally this mean?

[TooManyPJs]

If course you can't ask for half the money. It was a gift, the winnings are theirs. Your DH is being ludicrous.

[TakemedowntoPotatoCity]

I think the friend should offer, but money is a strange thing so she is probably thinking she should to but doesn't want to! You shouldn't ask, no.It

[bert3400]

Your husband sounds batshit, you sound very reasonable. Please don't ask your friend for half the money, it's embarrassing and will definitely sour your friendship

[saraclara]

Are your husband's reasoning skills always this bad? Or is it entirely greed talking?

His explanation has no logic to it whatsoever.
You are 100% correct.

[Chilesstanton]

Do not ask!!

[Geauxtigers]

@Notimeforaname

Your husband is a tight bastard. Begrudging someone's birthday present. Is he normally this mean?

See this is the thing. He's normally not at all! He went to private school (granted his grandparents paid for it) but we are nowhere near in that situation for our kids.
I really don't know what he is thinking I've tried to ask why he's so upset about it, but he just keeps saying "she should at least offer"

[Geauxtigers]

I thought the offer of taking us out for dinner and shouting both it and the babysitter was lovely and still leaves them with a lovely decent amount. I'm mostly just a bit shocked that hubby has brought it up as money is never something that's been a big thing in our relationship

[Rainbowqueeen]

I don’t think your friend needs to offer anything other than the meal out she’s already offered. It was a gift. What she does with it now is up to her.
And yes it will ruin the friendship if you bring it up.
Just tell your DH you will stop adding them to peoples cards seeing he can’t act like a grown up and enjoy the night out with your friend

[Geauxtigers]

@Rainbowqueeen

I don’t think your friend needs to offer anything other than the meal out she’s already offered. It was a gift. What she does with it now is up to her.
And yes it will ruin the friendship if you bring it up.
Just tell your DH you will stop adding them to peoples cards seeing he can’t act like a grown up and enjoy the night out with your friend

This is a good idea. And anyway now someone has actually hit a kind of a jackpot I don't think my luck would extend much more anyway

[RobertSmithsLipstick]

It would just be weird to expect half of the money.
I can't believe your man thinks it's reasonable to ask!

[Monty27]

I think your DH is missing something here. Did he even pay for the card and scratch card? None of his business anyway.

[CallMeMabel]

Your DH is 100% wrong & you will look greedy & selfish & a bit nuts to ask for half the winnings. If this is out of character for him, is there a chance that your financial situation isn't actually as secure as you think & his grabby reaction is because he's worried about money?