Would this offend you?

[FishGoBloop]

NC because this is outing

Say you went to a sibling's wedding where the bride had handmade all the favours and they were various little felt animals.

The bride gave you a cow, your OH a horse, and your

I wouldn't assume that the entire 'felt animals as favours' (lovely) gesture was aimed as a dig at me because I don't assume that the world revolves around me.

Some people. Jesus. 🙄

Cows and pigs are cute animals, there’s loads of ‘cute’ collectibles.

I’d be pissed if it was a donkey …or snake…but not this!!!

She’s stupid honestly. Unless she was already thinking the worse of you.

@GrandmasCat

I don’t know, I gave a very nice expensive gift to my partner’s DD in her birthday and I was sent a thank you card with a cow on it.

I assume young kids are not able to choose and pay for thank you cards so I understand her mum took the trouble to go and find a card for me, but as I am good at matching passive aggressiveness when I get it, I have replied to the gesture by sending very cheap gifts these days.

So yes, I can see a point at them not finding your collection of animal gifts inoffensive… and her wanting to distance herself from you.

When my DS was younger I would buy cards for relatives but often he would choose them which, yes, did lead to some people getting some odd choices.

If they chose to read more into it than a nice thought from a small child then that's their problem tbh.

As for the OP what you made sounds lovely and you clearly wanted to make an effort and do something different. Good on you. Your guest sounds strange!!

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius and @Hugasauras those are absolute genius!

As I imagine, were yours op. I would love to have one as a wedding favour - beats sugared almonds which are proper teeth wreckers!

The good thing is that you now know never to do anything special for them again. You have been freed from buying presents and sending cards for the rest of time.

If questioned, just tell them that you could simply never risk offending them again.

She sounds completely nuts. Ignore. Absolutely do not apologise, you've done nothing wrong.

I said I tried to give everyone something I thought they would like, obviously this was limited but my skill level - the possibilities were not limitless (for example, I just couldn't make a decent sheep, you'd think a white blob with legs would be simple, it's not). Some people just got a random felt animal as I only did two of each kind in different colours so people wouldn't all have the same thing and each one be a bit unique. There's not a huge connection between SIL and a cow, there's a cow barn round the corner from her house and they graze in the fields near her (she lives in the countryside) but I thought that once they put them together they'd realize it was a set of farm animals.

@PoshPyjamas

Everyone's favour was personal to them, but you expected her to be able to divinate that her's wasn't personal to her.

Is that right?

Op said here's was personal - because he child adored farm animals and they visited a lot of farms as a family.

Keep up.

The person is obviously very sensitive but I do find these wedding favours a strange idea and totally not necessary.

@Mightywease Nah… If mum was not acting like a deranged woman so often I would have given her the benefit of doubt.

I also realised that any nice gesture to her kids will result in the queen bee mum having a massive go at the kids so I stay out of the way now and we are all happy.

I'm only saying it from experience and from what I was taught from childhood. 'don't get the birthday card with the cow on it for aunt sandra' etc. I'm surprised other people don't know this? Do people also write letters in red or green ink? Animals, colours, plants all have associations. I don't get lilies for people unless I know they're their favourite either. I've seen a game of monopoly end before it started because a woman was offered the dog piece.

And I'm not trying to be sexist, but when giving out gifts, I'm probably not going to offend a woman with a swan, I might offend a woman with a cow. So I'd hedge my bets and give her a swan. It's not a statement on what a woman should be. It's a strategy for making my life drama free. My best friend loves rats, I'd give her a rat. My new SIL? I'm not going to give her a rat, even if I think it's adorable.

@MrsBaublesDylan Thank you! Honestly as soon as there's an animal DN recognizes in front of them it's like hypnosis. So naturally they take DN to animal places all the time. I think DN will grow up to be a huge animal lover.

And I'm definitely in the camp of handmade felt animals is a strange favour. And immature.
And I’m in the camp that you’re a tedious and unpleasant person.

Too weird - that’s sensitivity taken too far. No, I would be weirded out by someone offended by that.

They sound so cute. I'd love to be a cow.

@FishGoBloop. Your favours sound adorable! She sounds like a loon!! Given she's dainty then she's being Uber pathetic!! I could maybe understand if she was overweight her maybe being a bit upset at a cow and I'd have made a goat or something instead, but (since getting ill) I'm now built like a wobbly Sherman tank and I'd LOVE a cow.

But even if you'd given me svfekted pile of poop there's no way I'd have said anything about it on YOUR wedding day. It's just incredibly bad manners.

Leave her to stew, you've told he why you made them. Christ knows what her problem is, but keave the drama Queen to sort her issues out. Your DH has the right approach.

It seems everyone else enjoyed theirs! And the general concept!!

@Ionlydomassiveones

“But they made so many people laugh and they were poked into button holes and pinned to bags, stuck on hats. The photos were great.”

I suspect they were not laughing ‘with’ you. I wouldn’t offended, but I would think it was piss poor thing to give a new relative.

What? Do people judge weddings by the ‘favour’? Oh fuck those guys. I go to a wedding to see people I care about get married, not to get a present. Honestly.

God some people are bonkers. As if she thought that. If you gave her an octopus would she be kicking off "you sayin I've got too many arms???". Insane.

Also the people on here pouring scorn on your wonderful, thoughtful, personalised, quirky handmade gifts-- you miserable buggers, where is your joy?

Most wedding favours are a pointless waste of money that either get left behind (my DD does event waitressing and brings some home, most get binned). The felt animals sound lovely and would actually remind one of the day, unlike generic chocolates or mini drinks.
I would love to get one, not fussy which one , but there again I work with animals of all sorts, wild, farm and pets.Your relative can off load the 'offensive' ones to me where they will be loved and treasured.

@Ionlydomassiveones that is so so mean…I can’t believe you’d admit to doing something so horrible. I’m sure most of the people here are glad they never worked in your office!

The problem isn’t you, it’s your friend. She must have a very low opinion of herself and her family which is very sad. It sounds like you guys are good friends if that is the case I’d send a text to apologise and give it sometime and try to fix it x

@ConsiderablyRicherThanYow. I always get the monopoly dog, never seen it as a bitch thing, dogs are cute.💁🏻‍♀️and I'll move the dog when it's my turn if they try to give me anything else

I suspect they were not laughing ‘with’ you. I wouldn’t offended, but I would think it was piss poor thing to give a new relative
I bet you’re a very lonely person.

@ConsiderablyRicherThanYow

I'm only saying it from experience and from what I was taught from childhood. 'don't get the birthday card with the cow on it for aunt sandra' etc. I'm surprised other people don't know this? Do people also write letters in red or green ink? Animals, colours, plants all have associations. I don't get lilies for people unless I know they're their favourite either. I've seen a game of monopoly end before it started because a woman was offered the dog piece.

And I'm not trying to be sexist, but when giving out gifts, I'm probably not going to offend a woman with a swan, I might offend a woman with a cow. So I'd hedge my bets and give her a swan. It's not a statement on what a woman should be. It's a strategy for making my life drama free. My best friend loves rats, I'd give her a rat. My new SIL? I'm not going to give her a rat, even if I think it's adorable.

Is this in the UK? I went to quite a posh girls' school and this was never mentioned in etiquette classes.

I don't think I'd have give anything like a cow or pig, common insults. But I would never have made that big a deal of it like your sister in law did!

Do you want yo remain on good terms with her?

They were laughing with you op….I would absolutely love a felt animal and I’d be delighted!

Ionlydomassiveones appears to have an empathy chip missing.