Would this offend you?

[FishGoBloop]

NC because this is outing

Say you went to a sibling's wedding where the bride had handmade all the favours and they were various little felt animals.

The bride gave you a cow, your OH a horse, and your

@stuntbubbles

Could you send her a follow-up gift to smooth things over? Several bats and a box of frogs.

This is the best idea ever!! Genius!

Farmyard animals aren't 'insulting' FFS

Of course they aren't and as another poster said all animals are lovely. See Percy Pig and gazillions of other cuddly toy pigs and cows.

She was completely unreasonable to make that assumption and more so to actually kick off about it at your wedding.
However I think maybe the subsequent 'cold shoulder' may be more to do with her embarrassment at overreacting rather than being annoyed with you. Maybe reaching out and explaining there's no hard feelings (if that's how you feel) would resolve things.

[quote SleepingStandingUp]@GrandmasCat
I was sent a thank you card with a cow on it... have replied to the gesture by sending very cheap gifts these days

How to people cope in the world when they're THAT sensitive they assume everyone is out to upset them. I buy cards for DS he picks them out. But even if she chose it THERE'S NOTHING OFFENSIVE ABOUT A PICTURE OF A COW[/quote]
That's really sad isn't it? Likely the child picked out the card themselves thinking it was a nice card with a cute animal on it. Poor kid.

I think her reaction was bat shit crazy. Firstly to jump to such conclusion but secondly to think that during your wedding was the appropriate time to raise it!!!

That said, there must be some sort of insecurity or paranoia behind it. If you want to salvage your relationship,you could try talking to her and explain you are so surprised at her interpretation of the gifts and that there was genuinely zero malice in it.

If it were me, I wouldn't bother but depends if you think it's worth discussing.

Make her a felt fanny and give her that it's more approrate because she's a twat

@BasiliskFace

I bought a woman I worked with a lovely Cowshed soap for Secret Santa. When she opened it she got all stroppy saying “Someone thinks I’m a dirty cow!” and wouldn’t shut up about it. “It’s an insult!” I thought she was a deluded loon at the time, but now I realise that weird way of thinking is more common than I thought.

Or she's the SIL?

TBH I think she's milking this, I bet she pigged out at the buffet and after all the singing and dancing she was hoarse!

I'll get my coat now!

You sound lovely OP! I would love to receive one of those wedding favours! I hope your SIL realises this and apologises!

@frami

Most wedding favours are a pointless waste of money that either get left behind (my DD does event waitressing and brings some home, most get binned). The felt animals sound lovely and would actually remind one of the day, unlike generic chocolates or mini drinks. I would love to get one, not fussy which one , but there again I work with animals of all sorts, wild, farm and pets.Your relative can off load the 'offensive' ones to me where they will be loved and treasured.

I got a beautiful, tiny little jug shaped like an elephant once. When you looked at it closely there was the coat of arms of the city I was at University at. My husband got a different style, but also very pretty. The coat of arms on his one was for Glasgow , as he's Glaswegian. I assume that where possible all of them had a relevance for the guests.

I still have them.

Make her a felt fanny and give her that it's more approrate because she's a twat

🤣🤣🤣 please do this. Or a felt turd with googly eyes.

The person offended by this is deranged.

This says it all. Pathetic.

In teaching it’s common for job interviews to involve a chat with a student panel. I have sat in on many but the most memorable was the students asking one of their pre-prepared questions, ‘if you were an animal, what animal would you be?’ One candidate massively overreacted and stormed out of the interview, shouting that he was not an animal and would not pretend to be. It was a useful screening process…

Well she seem excessively sensitive to the idea that someone might think she a bit of a cow and from her reaction and behaviour it would seem there's a reason for that.

I think a bride making little felt animals as favours is lovely and I'd love to get one at a wedding; much nicer than a boring bag of sugared almonds.

She sound hard work.

@GrandmasCat

I don’t know, I gave a very nice expensive gift to my partner’s DD in her birthday and I was sent a thank you card with a cow on it.

I assume young kids are not able to choose and pay for thank you cards so I understand her mum took the trouble to go and find a card for me, but as I am good at matching passive aggressiveness when I get it, I have replied to the gesture by sending very cheap gifts these days.

So yes, I can see a point at them not finding your collection of animal gifts inoffensive… and her wanting to distance herself from you.

Batshit crazy!

Those favours sound amazing, I think the people attending probably would have loved them, IME anything fun/personal people have loved at weddings or parties.

I have a couple of friends who love cows and they often receive cow print gifts. The kids bought me a little cow ornament from a ski trip and I wouldn't have thought to be offended. I may have steered clear from giving someone a cow gift though in general unless I knew they liked them but in the context you have given then I don't think there is any reason to have thought she would be upset by it.

I was sent a thank you card with a cow on it... have replied to the gesture by sending very cheap gifts these days

Equally pathetic. I feel so sorry for the family and friends of people like you - it must be hell trying to avoid the 1001 things which offend you.

Honestly, I can't take much more of MN. So many delicate little flowers who seem totally unable to cope with normal life.

For what it's worth, the cafe around the corner uses plastic animals instead of table numbers. Last week I got a whale - should I be offended?

@SquirrelG

I was sent a thank you card with a cow on it... have replied to the gesture by sending very cheap gifts these days

Equally pathetic. I feel so sorry for the family and friends of people like you - it must be hell trying to avoid the 1001 things which offend you.

Honestly, I can't take much more of MN. So many delicate little flowers who seem totally unable to cope with normal life.

For what it's worth, the cafe around the corner uses plastic animals instead of table numbers. Last week I got a whale - should I be offended?

A whale???

Did it make you blubber?

Are you sure she wasn't kidding?

And now is just blowing cold as per usual? (You mention she does that now and then).

I can't imagine anyone would really read into it like you say she did, so I suspect she was joking now is just busy/down etc

@SNUG2022

And horse doesn't mean ass, but big cock.

Bahahaha

@ConsiderablyRicherThanYow

You're not supposed to give women animals like cow, dog, pig, snake, rat etc. If I was making animals for people I'd give a woman something like a swan or a deer, maybe a rabbit. If I wanted the child to have a farmyard set to be entertained, I'd have put 3 farmyard animals for just the child. Then give the mum the prettiest animal I can possibly think of. Then give her husband a good one but not great, like badger or hedgehog. If you give him a lion it'd be too much. Yes it sounds mad, but it's the thing you have to think of to keep people (that are likely to get drunk and emotional later) happy.

However it was still very unreasonable of her to ruin your wedding day. She's not unreasonable to distance herself if she's offended.

I have never read such complete and utter crap

OP, I think the crochet/felted animal favours are an absolutely gorgeous idea, and props to you for putting in the work. The people who say otherwise are not people you really need to worry about.

SIL is a total nut though.

@ConsiderablyRicherThanYow

I'm only saying it from experience and from what I was taught from childhood. 'don't get the birthday card with the cow on it for aunt sandra' etc. I'm surprised other people don't know this? Do people also write letters in red or green ink? Animals, colours, plants all have associations. I don't get lilies for people unless I know they're their favourite either. I've seen a game of monopoly end before it started because a woman was offered the dog piece.

And I'm not trying to be sexist, but when giving out gifts, I'm probably not going to offend a woman with a swan, I might offend a woman with a cow. So I'd hedge my bets and give her a swan. It's not a statement on what a woman should be. It's a strategy for making my life drama free. My best friend loves rats, I'd give her a rat. My new SIL? I'm not going to give her a rat, even if I think it's adorable.

I've never heard of these rules, and my DM was a big fan of 'etiquette'.

I couldn't be bothered to put up with anyone over age 7 who refused to play Monopoly based on which piece she got, or thought that having a vagina meant that she needed a swan as a gift. I do think it's sexist to claim that all women are that sensitive or paranoid.

You're not supposed to give women animals like cow, dog, pig, snake, rat etc. If I was making animals for people I'd give a woman something like a swan or a deer, maybe a rabbit. If I wanted the child to have a farmyard set to be entertained, I'd have put 3 farmyard animals for just the child. Then give the mum the prettiest animal I can possibly think of. Then give her husband a good one but not great, like badger or hedgehog. If you give him a lion it'd be too much. Yes it sounds mad, but it's the thing you have to think of to keep people (that are likely to get drunk and emotional later) happy.

Not only does it sound mad, it IS completely mad.

A friend of mine spins and weaves wool for a living and if I come across birthday cards with sheep on them I get one for her. Sensible people really do not get wound up about these things.

@ConsiderablyRicherThanYow - if you gave a man a lion it would be too much? Too much what? Make lions are lazy fuckers who make the females do all the work...they also look terribly bedraggled in the wild (generally), not majestic with a flowing mane, so...

I think wedding favours of felt/crochet animals sounds awesome, and if people read too much into it (if there's an otherwise good relationship), it's on them - for what it's worth, I am fat and wouldn't be offended by a pig or a cow, I'd think it was a really sweet gesture.

I'd also appreciate the incredible amount of time you'd put into it, not think it was immature - in fact, I'd thoroughly enjoy the fact it wasn't miniatures of alcohol (I don't drink) or sugared almonds (can't eat them) for a change! And that you'd gone with something original and personal to you (I craft too, I like making handmade things for people), which is what you're wedding day should be, right? A celebration of you marrying your spouse, not a cookie cutter version of 'a wedding' for your guests.