Deliberate covid exposure/dying MiL/34 weeks pg

[RV12]

My MiL is very suddenly and tragically dying from cancer (diagnosed only 2 months ago). I am 35 weeks pregnant and live 4 hours away. She understandably would like to see me/the bump as there is real sadness that may not make it until the birth and I would like to show her love and support.
The dilemma is she has been testing positive for covid these last 2 weeks, albeit not showing symptoms. There was a negative test yesterday but today another positive - evidently she can't shake it due to immune issues.
I am feeling under pressure to go and visit (and stay with wider family all of whom exposed to it thr her this last week while on caring duties). I am anxious. But I am triple jabbed and healthy. Aibu if I hesitated??

Surely the '10 day rule' applies here? Realistically in normal circumstances your MIL would be allowed out and have no need to isolate after 10 days regardless of a positive test. You can test positive for a while after having Covid without symptoms or the ability to pass it on. For the sake of you, your baby and birth, I'd make sure the 10 days had passed but then i'd go and see her.

I wouldn't travel four hours away at 35 weeks. You need to be resting up and remaining near your delivery centre.

She’s your MIL.
Your DH goes obviously- it’s his mother. You don’t.

I'd go masked and ask for the window to be kept open. Lots of hand sanitiser and washing hands properly. If you feel you'd rather keep your distance sit a good way from her. I'd go though.

No way should you risk your health or that of your dc. Imo.
I had Covid after 2 jabs.
And I wasn't pregnant... No way should anyone pressure you op.

In these circumstances I would go and see her. You can test positive for COVID for quite a while after catching it. Stay in a hotel and wear a mask.

Go, see her, don't have regrets.

But stay at a hotel rather than at someone's (and take all your notes, hospital bag and car seat)

Whilst I totally understand the reasons behind it I wouldn't go. If you did catch covid how would you manage the remainder of your hospital visits or if you went into labour early you would put not only yourself at risk but also the hospital staff and other patients. Could you maybe visit through a window or FaceTime?

I would prioritise the health of a mother and unborn baby over a dying person, every time.

@Sceptre86

I'd go masked and ask for the window to be kept open. Lots of hand sanitiser and washing hands properly. If you feel you'd rather keep your distance sit a good way from her. I'd go though.

This. I’d definitely go and just balance the risk to you and baby.

Sorry for the sad news. I would see her.
The drive is riskier than seeing your MIL, I'm sure you and baby will be fine.

Oh this is such a dilemma! What is the prognosis in terms of timing?

I’d wait for the 10 days to be sure if at all possible and then go in and see her but not mix with any of the others because of the risks or cross infection.

You HAVE taken all the precautions you can do you SHOULD be ok, but minimising risk wherever possible is wise, but this is important. To your mil, to your h and to the wider family. If at all possible, I’m sure you can find a way to make plans that you are comfortable with

What about a mega FFP2 (?) mask? To protect yourself. Spending no more than 10-15 mins with her will tick boxes and safely, and stay in a premier inn or similar so that you’re not mixing too much

That’s what I’d do. Hope you’re able to find a way through this

Could you stand outside - probably a ridiculous suggestion unless she is on the ground floor? So sorry for your circumstances (not the baby of course).

What a horrible position to be in. I’m so sorry OP .

If you weren’t heavily pregnant I’d say go without a second thought. But you’re so close to having your baby. I honestly don’t know what I’d do in your position.

Whatever you decide to do, please don’t beat yourself up.

This is the reason that you don’t continue to test.

After you’ve had Covid you can continue testing positive for quite a long time. If she wasn’t testing you’d go and see her and take precautions after day10 (or whatever it is now) and think nothing else of it.

Given that you are pregnant it m would be sensible to add some precautions like masks, no hugs, outside or windows open etc.

@Ahalam

I would prioritise the health of a mother and unborn baby over a dying person, every time.

This.

They shouldn’t be pressuring you.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant now and shielding, as I'm terrified of getting Covid and having to give birth alone. However, in this case I'd probably go, take all the hospital bags with just in case, check what hospitals are on route. I'd make sure window is wide open, wear a very good mask, face shield and what not, not touch anything and keep distance.

I’ve been in a similar position OP, but did manage to get to see my loved one just before they died. I’d do a video call or see MIL through the window, as already suggested. Don’t live with regrets.

What are the issues around passing Covid to a newborn? Genuine question. Ie. If you caught Covid and then gave birth in 5 days time while testing positive... what are the risks around that? I have no idea, and I guess there's a fairly low chance of that happening, but I'd want to know about the risks around newborns catching Covid from their positive mother before I made my decision.

I would prioritise the health of a mother and unborn baby over a dying person, every time.

^^
This, 100%

If you are close to MIL and want to go that is one thing, but no one should be pressuring you. Yes, your DH should go as she’s his Mum. And risk from that should be mitigated by either him staying over or isolating from you at home.

I’m so sorry, OP.

As I assume your DH will be there a lot, realistically you will be exposed via him, or indeed anyone else you come into contact with in the next few weeks.

I appreciate deliberately exposing yourself feels risky, but it probably isn’t as dangerous as you feel it to be.

On the other hand, it’s a long way to travel etc.

No decision you make will be wrong, only you can judge it. If it were me I’d go, for my DH as much as my MIL. But don’t do what you’re not happy to do with peace in your decision.

I wouldn't go personally. I know lots of people have caught covid in spite of being vaccinated and they've felt pretty rough. It could send you into premature labour. It isn't worth the risk in my view. I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.

Having had covid recently at only 13 weeks pregnant I absolutely wouldn’t risk it so close to term. I wasn’t horrifically ill but the cough was bad and I can imagine how it would be so close to the end.
Plus if you catch it then it might impact where you can give birth / who can be with you.

I would just do daily video calls with her instead, and show her the bump that way. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and will be shielding from 36 weeks, despite being triple jabbed.

It’s a very sad situation but she’s not your mum and you need to put your health and your baby’s health first. Not to mention your husband won’t be allowed in the delivery room with you if either of you catch it.

I would ask him to come home at 38 weeks and isolate.

Sorry you’re all going through this.

I wouldn’t go.