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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’

491 replies

Laughingstock91 · 21/01/2022 12:07

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Enough4me · 21/01/2022 12:58

I'd say "Hi X, hope you're all well and DC growing away well. Glad you received the gift I bought, I really hoped you liked it. Such a shame you don't, the clothes looked lovely to me. If you return them I can pass on to someone who would love them."

Polite, friendly and makes the point. Then ditch her.

VioletPetals · 21/01/2022 12:58

I had this kind of response to a gift for a baby gift once.

I bought her a cot mobile (her request and one she specified which wasn’t cheep) and a couple of what I thought were nice neutral outfits, mostly cream with a little bit of grey and yellow.

Her response was something along the lines of “these are not really to my taste, I appreciate the thought but can they be swapped for something a bit girlier”

I took them back and returned them for a refund.

She asked a couple of times about the replacement items but I just said I had returned them and nothing else, you think at first she assumed I’d returned them for a refund and was going to buy something else, but after the third time she asked and I gave the same reply she didn’t ask again.

Spreadingtheword · 21/01/2022 12:58

Although I would never do this, I don’t think I’d be offended. It’s perfectly acceptable to not like something. - the lack of thanks is a bit annoying, but the ability to be honest enough to say “I don’t like what you’ve brought” is kind of admirable.

I wish I had the guts to tell someone that I didn’t particularly like their gift and give it back to be returned. Would save me a lot of hassle when it gets brought up in future conversations.

I would offer to return it; ask what particular colours she does like?

Kilopapadelta · 21/01/2022 12:59

Oh my god this made me laugh in shock! The rudeness of some people is unbelievable. You are absolutely not unreasonable for feeling offended. How awful!

Gonnagetgoing · 21/01/2022 12:59

@Laughingstock91

I don’t know- maybe I am really old fashioned but isn’t it just a ‘smile and say Thankyou’ thing with newborn baby stuff not a ‘we don’t like it, can we change it’ thing? You do get random home knitted stuff too and the whole point is that people want to give stuff to babies. You wouldn’t ask to change grannies knitted cardi!!
@Laughingstock91 - I've knitted clothes for friend's babies - and I've known friends who are given 'layettes' with knitted cardigans etc - I recall a not close friend showing me a lovely pure white layette knitted by her grandmother who sadly died when the baby was 3 years old. At the time when she got the layette friend told me it's not my taste but actually the cardigans are handy for when it's cold/chilly. When her grandma died she said she was so happy she kept it and let her grandma see her babies wearing it as it made her happy.
thisplaceisweird · 21/01/2022 12:59

I wouldn't even agree to change it. I would just simply say

"I'll pop over tomorrow and pick it up"

take it back, return and dial back contact.

WombatChocolate · 21/01/2022 13:00

I would reply with
‘Sorry you didn’t like them. I spent a lot of time choosing them. Sorry, bought from a fancy independent shop that won’t do returns unless there’s a fault. Just send them back to me as I have a friend who I know will love them.’

Will be interning them to see if they are actually returned to you.

Absolutely don’t offer to swap them etc. It is this gift or nothing in this scenario. Such a rude text to have sent.

If someone had said the clothes were beautiful and thank you so much, but they had possibly grown too big for them already, I’d have been happy to look into an exchange, but absolutely not for this response.

Original poster
Laughingstock91 · 21/01/2022 13:00

Thing is- it wasn’t even a horrible set- the closest I can find is this pic from next which is similar

‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’
OP posts:
Bortles · 21/01/2022 13:01

If you return them to me I can get the money I wasted back. Thanks (customary word meaning gratitude when someone does something for you.)

Or just a good old hahahaha!

Gonnagetgoing · 21/01/2022 13:01

@Laughingstock91

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Laughingstock91 - to me yellow and pink are fine for a baby - maybe pink is traditionally girly but yellow and especially pale yellow is fine and can be unisex.

If she really wanted certain clothes she should've texted or emailed you or spoke to you to say this.

Enough4me · 21/01/2022 13:01

Lovely outfit OP, easy to pop on and off, comfort is so much more important than bias to colours.

Gilda152 · 21/01/2022 13:02

I wouldn't be pussy footing around. I'd be replying - that's a shame, sure you'll still find a use of them though x

And never send them anything again.

ZenNudist · 21/01/2022 13:02

"Ah well, let me have it back then"

Then keep the money

ZenNudist · 21/01/2022 13:03

And never buy for them again

user33323 · 21/01/2022 13:03

@Fairylightsongs

I think it’s a polite way of saying she doesn’t like the colours so wants to change them.
Polite?! Polite would be a thank you message and if they don't want to use them they don't have to, they can stick them on eBay/Vinted and get something else. The next best thing to polite, but still rude, would be 'Thank you so much for the gift you sent, it arrived today! It's lovely and soft, ** will look adorable in it. Would you mind if we swapped if for a different size?' but even that I wouldn't because they may have got it in a sale or something.
WombatChocolate · 21/01/2022 13:03

VioletPetals - I like your response. It seems appropriate.

The giver chooses the gift, not the recipient. This isn’t a wedding list!

Honestly, why someone can’t show some gratitude and smile and either put their baby in the outfit, or just say the right things and keep it and pass it onto the next person to have a baby, I don’t know. It’s the entitlement to a gift OF THEIR CHOOSING which misses the point, and particularly the failure to even say thank you. Shocking manners.

MollyQueenOfSocks · 21/01/2022 13:04

Friends is not only WAY PFB about this, but also stupidly ungrateful. I'd reply "Cool, send it back and i'll get a refund". Don't mention replacing it in any way and if she asks later on about a replacement just say "You didn't like it so I sorted the problem shrug "

Baby wouldn't even be in it that long, like all newborn clothes. Take it back, get your money back and don't bother replacing it OP. It's a 3 month old baby, there is no such thing as "doesn't suit" a fucking newborn!

Diggersaursarethebest · 21/01/2022 13:05

I really like choosing clothes for my child. I’m grateful my husband isn’t bothered and lets me pick all his clothes. When people buy him things I don’t like I smile and say thank you but I then shove them at the back of the cupboard and only bring them out if everything I do like is filthy. Your friend was rude OP, but I do understand the hating all the things other people want your child to wear problem. At 3 months sometimes it can feel like it’s not your baby when they are dressed wrong. Smelling wrong is worse though. That always required an immediate bath.

Fredstheteds · 21/01/2022 13:08

So ungrateful

WheelieBinPrincess · 21/01/2022 13:08

@Diggersaursarethebest you sound slightly bonkers.

AppleTangerine · 21/01/2022 13:09

@Laughingstock91

Thing is- it wasn’t even a horrible set- the closest I can find is this pic from next which is similar
I really don't like that outfit and those colours- so if it was similar I might agree with your friend's taste. But if you had given it to me -I'd just have said thank you and probably given it away.
Beautiful3 · 21/01/2022 13:09

I remember getting a strange outfit for my firstborn. It was disgusting, but I just smiled, said thank you and she wore it alot. Babies go through so many outfit changes, its unreal.

ThirdElephant · 21/01/2022 13:10

@Laughingstock91

Thing is- it wasn’t even a horrible set- the closest I can find is this pic from next which is similar
Well, it is pretty awful. She should have said thank you regardless though- it's the thought that counts.
UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 21/01/2022 13:11

Stop worrying about what you actually bought that’s not the point! Babies look cute in anything and they are not fashion accessories.
While I sort of understand some people saying “o would rather be told” I dunno I just can’t imagine any scenario where any of my even closest friends would say “I don’t like this” all of us would just say we have slightly different tastes but I know they care about baby and that’s why they spent their money of them and got us this thoughtful present…

Sloughsabigplace · 21/01/2022 13:11

I am always astounded by how rude people can be.

I was brought up to be grateful and thankful for what I was gifted, even if I didn’t like it.

He baby didn’t have to ever wear it. She could have passed it on, given it to a charity shop.

What she didn’t have to do was make the giver feel crap.