‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’

[Laughingstock91]

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

The friend is not a friend! Being very precious

I think it’s fine to have personal taste and prefer some things to others (we got some very frilly pink things for our first DD by a family member who was very excited there was a girl in the family, and they wouldn’t have been what I’d have chosen), but to actually tell someone that is staggeringly rude. I’d have to reply ‘Sorry you don’t like the gift. I no longer have the receipt so can’t change it. Feel free to sell or give away.’ and that would be the friendship done for me I’m afraid!

Very rude & very ungrateful; suggest she gives you them back; then return them to the store, keep the refund; she’s not a friend, anyone who’s had a baby knows little ones grow so quickly they only get to wear most things a couple of times, & I’ve never met a three month old who was fussy about clothes, colour, or style.
This lady doesn’t deserve your kindness

YANBU that you're annoyed they said something, but even at 3 months old I couldn't dress my daughter in yellow as it made her look ill. Really really ill so that people would comment. Bright yellow is fine, but not pale yellow.

Cheeky, ungrateful cow. I'd ask for them back and get a refund. What a nerve! Rude to the extreme!

Gosh OP that was so rude. Is this typical of your friends behaviour? Why could she not just have said that you so much you the gorgeous gift? Then if she really really really wanted changed ask you very nicely on another occasion. Maybe people don't realise how hurtful their comments can be.

I genuinely would reply: "That's fine, if you return it to me I'll take it back to the shop. You're welcome."

@GreenerWithTheScenery

'‘We got your parcel today. Sorry the colour doesn’t suit little xxxx. Could we change them please’

'Sure, send them back!'

'Can you not send us the receipt?'

'No, I don't have it, I paid on card so will need to show my card and statement'

When you get it back, block them, use the refund to treat yourself to something nice.

This ^ ….. OP please do this !

Please update us with your response (if you haven’t already , I’m just scrolling the pages)

Oh and my view - absolutely fucking rude , and just the thing what is wrong with the world and society !

Question - was there a “thank you “
In the text?

@Caspianberg

I actually wouldn’t be offended by this at all. I would rather something told me they didn’t like and I swapped for something else, then then fake pretend they like and just dump in charity.

I fully agree with this, I think a good friend would probably feel that she could say this too you and be honest. I guess she could of been more polite about it though, it sounds a little abrupt

@CheeseMmmm

MN is so weird on this.

In fact MN is weird on lots of stuff to do with presents friends.

Your FRIENDS are supposed to like you. And you like them.

When I give a present I WANT THEM TO LIKE IT!

Why the fuck would anyone not care about that?

If I give a friend something and they don't like it I want them to TELL ME so that I can say oops well never mind, here's receipt change it let me know what got.

It's the thought that counts DOESN'T MEAN pretend love things that will go back of cupboard. Buyer has wasted money, recipient has thought yikes and stuffed back of cupboard etc.

Waste of time and money.

A PRESENT is about someone giving something that will make the other person happy, or something they have asked for or you know they want. Eg fave expensive bath stuff. Not exciting but will be v well received.

Who the hell wants people to hang onto things they don't want/like/need. That they've bought for them?

Anyone? I don't get it.

Bull shit a present is a gift and not obligatory at all .

What happened to manners!!!!!

It’s not like she gave her some soiled 2nd hand crap , it’s a small baby and saying the colour doesn’t suit without a thank you is rude , whether they are a friend or whoever they are.

Very very rude imo. Just say Oh I'm so sorry please send them back. Then return them fur a refund and don't bother sending anything else!

op. You were very kind and bought a practical gift for the baby.
Most people would/should have sent a note or card of thanks.

Your friend is way out of order and has acted with no manners.

You have every right to be offended. Ask for the cheeky so and so to return it, then give it to someone who will appreciate and go treat yourself.

Note to self, she is not your friend.

Unbelievably rude.

I wouldn't reply and would never ever buy any of them anything again.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right.

If you provided a receipt with it, tell her to go and exchange for something she prefers. Pink and yellow go well together so not sure what her problem is 🤨 it's giving "ungrateful". Don't send any more gifts to this "so-called friend".

That was very bad manners! What’s wrong with some people. I taught my children to graciously accept gifts from people by the age of 3!
I would certainly find a way to get the present back, return it to the shop and keep the refund !

Is the baby a boy?

If so, and you gave a traditionally female outfit, I can see where she might have thought it rude/thoughtless.

They're being rude

I'm very particular about clothes for my daughter, not in the sense they have to be expensive or branded, but they have to look and feel "right." I'm neurodiverse and some textures, patterns and colours (especially pastels) feel so horribly wrong they make me squeamish. I expect when your friend said pink and yellow didn't suit her baby, what she really meant was she has an aversion to those colours herself. I was never as rude as your friend though, I just smiled, said thank you, and put the clothes on freecycle.

I've only ever been honest about disliking gifts from MIL because we're close enough to be blunt without offending each other and I would honestly rather she kept what little money she had and spent it on herself.

Very rude.

Like others I got some outfits gifted for my babies that weren't to my taste, such as a black Batman vest, but I just used them anyway or kept them and donated them instead. Of course you should thank them and not pass comment about whether it's to your taste!!

Having slept on this, and still annoyed for you OP, I think actually I’d just text back

“You ungrateful [choose your own noun]”

And then walk away from the friendship

So sorry OP x

What a nerve!
I'm feeling petty so:
I would apologise profusely, nip round to collect them saying you will exchange them for something to her taste. Colour? Style? Fabric? Motif? Cheery wave, then silence..

When she later asks me about it I would say:
"There was absolutely nothing to match your description, so I bought myself a new handbag instead 👋👋"

This is hilarious, only on MN can friends not be honest with eachother.
Obviously better to say thank you and throw it into the charity shop rather than ask if your friend minds you exchanging it for something you actually like 👍

I hated certain colours,styles and textures on our DS, so i wouldn't put them on him, but my friends were not so precious and just wanted me to have something liked.

This is hilarious, only on MN can friends not be honest with eachother.

In my real life, people are honestly grateful and then tactful. I find it odd that you see this as an honesty issue. Where does that stop?

‘We got your parcel today. Sorry the colour doesn’t suit little xxxx. Could we change them please’’

@Laughingstock91 did you leave out the bit where they said ‘Thank you for lovely gift, it’s so thoughtful of you to think of baby’ ?

Thought not.

Have them return items by first class mail to you for refund. Get your money back. Treat yourself either to lunch or a top in your best colours.

I can't imagine deciding a friend was awful because of this and rude cow etc and dropping!

I was thinking though.

So people use friend in different ways?

Reaction like this to someone know casually I can understand a lot better. And the oh thanks lovely irrespective.

Not a friend though, for me that may mean different.

Maybe?