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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’

491 replies

Laughingstock91 · 21/01/2022 12:07

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Benjispruce5 · 21/01/2022 22:03

@HelloDulling Why ever not?

HelloDulling · 21/01/2022 22:10

[quote Benjispruce5]@HelloDulling Why ever not?[/quote]
Because I’m shallow and vain and the way that things look is important to me.

I dislike wishy-washy pastels, particularly pink, and anything that looks like sportswear. So it would not be to my taste.

Enough4me · 21/01/2022 22:24

OP - you have lots of votes and close to 100% support. Don't give the CF any further gifts.

StoneofDestiny · 21/01/2022 22:34

Just say 'send them back to me and I'll sort it'. Then get a refund and leave it at that.

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 22:38

@Westerman

Clearly your 'friend' has an accessory rather than a baby. What a snotty, rude cow she is. I'd be bloody offended, too.
So if my friend gives me a bright red PVC minidress with push up boob spill top bit. With a huge picture of a naked cheggers on the front.

I should say omg just what I always wanted! It's gorgeous! And she says great! I thought you could do with livening up! Let's go your local Friday you should wear it! Really excited to see you in it!

You say. Yay cool!!!

Because personal taste of the person you're having present to is IRRELEVANT and you know. Friends giving you things they know you would be yuck. Shows what good friends they are!

Nope.

cakewench · 21/01/2022 22:47

YANBU! Have her send them back so you can get a refund. I’d be inclined to just get a refund and just leave it, but if you’re feeling kind you can always find something else once you have more of an idea of what her precious baby’s colour scheme is.

So strange, though.

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 22:47

MN is so weird on this.

In fact MN is weird on lots of stuff to do with presents friends.

Your FRIENDS are supposed to like you. And you like them.

When I give a present I WANT THEM TO LIKE IT!

Why the fuck would anyone not care about that?

If I give a friend something and they don't like it I want them to TELL ME so that I can say oops well never mind, here's receipt change it let me know what got.

It's the thought that counts DOESN'T MEAN pretend love things that will go back of cupboard. Buyer has wasted money, recipient has thought yikes and stuffed back of cupboard etc.

Waste of time and money.

A PRESENT is about someone giving something that will make the other person happy, or something they have asked for or you know they want. Eg fave expensive bath stuff. Not exciting but will be v well received.

Who the hell wants people to hang onto things they don't want/like/need. That they've bought for them?

Anyone? I don't get it.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 21/01/2022 22:49

Someone's fond of the caps lock key.

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 22:52

And taste in clothes. Colours like, styles etc. Vv personal.

There's nothing wrong with that.

When I had babies. People asked what sort of things I liked. When kids toddlers, people knew what sort of things I dressed them in.

And bought accordingly. All good stuff because they thought about our family and what we like.

Great.

Those who didn't know us so well got some things that anyone who met me twice would know just no no no.

Friends are supposed to know you and care about you. And vice versa.

A friendship where they don't know you at all, and clearly you can't communicate. And get the arsehole over something as trivial as... Thanks so much for present, do you mind if I exchange as while lovely just really not my thing.

Think loads of women on here have shit friendships tbh.

WinterDeWinter · 21/01/2022 22:54

"Ah sorry no I don't have the receipt - never dreamed I would need to take my gifts back. But here's £3 for postage, send them back to me and I'll grab a refund."

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 22:55

MissH...

And the content?

I just don't understand why anyone would want to not know a friend didn't like a present you gave.

And prefer said so they can get something they do like instead.

That's totally bizarre.

Presents are for the person. They're supposed to like them. That's the whole point!

FlasherMcGruff · 21/01/2022 22:56

Incredibly rude - I really wouldn’t buy them anything again and I’d only return them for a refund! I’d reply saying ‘I’d hoped you would have appreciated the gift as I had picked it with thought. It’s a real shame that you didn’t. I’d be happy to return the item to the store for you.’ Then keep that money and buy yourself wine.

Dreambigger · 21/01/2022 22:57

This is just sooooo rude and entitled. Its a gift. If she doesn't like it then she can pass it on and either way say thanks so much etc. Are people really this entitled and self centered. This is not a friendship OP Flowers

Somethingsnappy · 21/01/2022 22:58

@CheeseMmmm, well perhaps if the baby had received the dress you described, the responses here would indeed be rather different... Grin

Somethingsnappy · 21/01/2022 23:00

@CheeseMmmm

And taste in clothes. Colours like, styles etc. Vv personal.

There's nothing wrong with that.

When I had babies. People asked what sort of things I liked. When kids toddlers, people knew what sort of things I dressed them in.

And bought accordingly. All good stuff because they thought about our family and what we like.

Great.

Those who didn't know us so well got some things that anyone who met me twice would know just no no no.

Friends are supposed to know you and care about you. And vice versa.

A friendship where they don't know you at all, and clearly you can't communicate. And get the arsehole over something as trivial as... Thanks so much for present, do you mind if I exchange as while lovely just really not my thing.

Think loads of women on here have shit friendships tbh.

Ah, but there was no 'thanks so much for the present, but...' in the OP's scenario...
CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 23:02

@Dreambigger

This is just sooooo rude and entitled. Its a gift. If she doesn't like it then she can pass it on and either way say thanks so much etc. Are people really this entitled and self centered. This is not a friendship OP Flowers
Why? Why!!!

Why are you happier to buy a friend something they don't like. To the extent they give it away to someone else?!

Person you don't know essentially has had your money for friend spent on them.

You've shown don't actually know friend that well at all.

How is that a win?

I do not understand.

Somethingsnappy · 21/01/2022 23:09

@CheeseMmmm, I think the main issue was the lack of manners. The friend didn't even thank the OP.

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 23:11

[quote Somethingsnappy]@CheeseMmmm, well perhaps if the baby had received the dress you described, the responses here would indeed be rather different... Grin[/quote]
Lolol Grin

In fact... Good point. There's some really nasty baby stuff with sexual innuendo out in the wild. Get threads on here about how awful sometimes...

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 23:16

Thank you so much! Haha brilliant.

Lucky it's summer! Will put on baby when we go lunch tomorrow. Ps my parents are going to drop in say hello while we there! You're the best xxx

‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’
CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 23:25

Yes that's fair.

I get the feeling OP would have been naffed off anyway tbh even if effusive thanks... But.

OP?

Incidentally again different people different ways. Different norms.

Eg I always text next day thank you if friend cooks for me, or has some kind party. Say thanks for X, had great time/lush food. Was lovely to see you/ fab party etc.

I do that stuff I don't know literally anyone who says thanks.

Except my parents... So. That's where I got it from then!

They don't do what I do. Because they're rude and whatever? Terrible people?

I did wonder in 20s why no thanks. Then I thought. Well I know they're nice people who like me. Prob just not a thing they do.

So I still say thanks and they don't and that's cool.

And it goes both ways. They don't get the hump that I don't do cards.

What's important? When it comes to friends, it's them, the relationship. If you know that care about you and vice versa. Changing view of them based on (in the scheme of things) trivial stuff. Feels missing the point to me.

Blossomtoes · 21/01/2022 23:26

Are you drunk @CheeseMmmm?

CallMeNutribullet · 21/01/2022 23:26

Clearly you should have spent some time on colour analysis and understood her 3 month old is more of a cool winter

Mylittlepotofjoy · 21/01/2022 23:26

One of my sons was given a tartan snow suit with lace on ! I wasn’t impressed as it was obvious meant for a girl but I got the lace off after buyer saw him in it . Everyone happy Grin

AlwaysLatte · 21/01/2022 23:31

YABU if the newborn had been to have their colours done in a top department store and you had known the outcome. Otherwise you sound like a lovely friend. Is your friend ok? Not baby blues?

Tsuni · 21/01/2022 23:35

@Mylittlepotofjoy

One of my sons was given a tartan snow suit with lace on ! I wasn’t impressed as it was obvious meant for a girl but I got the lace off after buyer saw him in it . Everyone happy Grin
Uh oh, you can’t say that on mn. Everybody here dresses their sons in lace (and glitter and sequins and pink.)
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