To not want to share a room with my inlaws

[nestinginnl]

Myself, my husband and our 6 month old son are going on holiday to Hawaii in two weeks. He's from Southern California so we're tying the trip in with seeing his family. On the night we get back from Hawaii he's booked us a hotel room by the airport as the flight gets in late. This happened months ago. I just found out it's for all of us, his mother included, in one room. Not only that but a week later when we fly home there's another hotel booked to split the journey, this time for the three of us, his mother, and his sister (who is a perfectly well meaning person but I don't get on with her and find her very uncomfortable to be around due to multiple past-events).

I wasn't asked about any of this, it was just organised behind my back.

We are not broke. We do not have to save $100 on a room. This is our first holiday in years. It's a replacement for our covid-cancelled honeymoon.

AIBU to be feel upset and want separate rooms?

Yes - YABU, rooms are expensive, it's just two nights

No - YANBU, he's in the wrong, spend the money and have your own space

Omg. I would go nuts at this, are u still doing night feeds? That would be horrendous. Show your husband these replies. It’s totally weird and out of order.

I'm horrified! Eff that for a game of soldiers!
No. No. No way! I'd rather not go!

@Chipsahoy really! Interesting. What part of America out of curiosity? I wonder if it's to do with his mom being Southern. She's TOO nice. Sounds like it shouldn't be a problem but dear god it is.

@LittleMG

Omg. I would go nuts at this, are u still doing night feeds? That would be horrendous. Show your husband these replies. It’s totally weird and out of order.

Still night feeding and I'll be heavily relying on them to power through the 9 hour time difference.

I showed him! I think it hugely helped my case 😅

We have now amended one of the three bookings to being two rooms. Working on the other two...

Fcking hell.. YANBU..!!

I am in a disney holidays group on FB and I see this....i mean ICK

Oh Good Christ no!! YANBU

What a strange thing to do. Absolutely book your own room .

Absolutely not no way please book a room just for you and the baby. Let dh share with his mother and see how uncomfortable that makes them. Enjoy your holiday

Really bizarre for a grown man to book a room to share with his mum and his sister . It's just weird . Maybe it's an American thing ?

On one hand, hotel rooms in the states are much larger than in the uk and can often have two king-sized beds in ... on the other hand, fuck no!

If you can afford it then get separate rooms. Sounds like an awful idea.

Checking out hotel rooms this week for trip to America and couldn’t understand two queen beds as being the norm for every booking now I know why! It’s for all the family

I can get kids and parents in a room but these would be sold as family rooms surely not 2 lots of beds

Are MIL and SIL sharing a bed?

Get yourself a room booked and say you didn’t understand the room thing and thought that MIL was talking about her own room

Separate rooms. This is a hill I might be prepared to die on also, and I would actually be the inlaw.

Just no. It is a recipe for disaster. A big disaster.

No fucking way would this be happening. I wouldn't sleep a wink.

I think this is one of those rare occasions when "putting your foot down" is called for.

Which Island are you going to? I know Oahu and Kauai quite well, plus Maui not quite as well. I have also been to the Big Island (Hawaii).

Once you get the rooms sorted, I'd be happy to contribute to a thread on stuff to do and see.

I am very jealous. I love Kauai with all my heart.

Wtf no.

@Olliphant

Yanbu Having inlaws who live far away, the best holiday we had was separate apartments. You get to wake slowly, have a cuppa and shower without your inlaws seeing you. Then you are all lovely and fresh and able to cope with the day. It took a few holidays sharing houses to reach this conclusion!

Definitely and absolutely. Sharing a house is tricky but sharing a room is just weird. Why would his mother and sister want anything to do with this idea . Book yourself a separate room for you and the baby.

I get on really well and am pretty close with my MIL and SILs etc and have known them over a decade now but even I would find this uncomfortable. I would book a separate room and then move on from it. Or if you're feeling petty, book a separate room for you and baby and he can share with his mum.

That is NUTS. I will share with DP and with close female friends on occasion, but I would not accept this setup at all! The lack of privacy makes it an absolute no-go.

I need space and privacy to relax and sleep. I have shared a room with my mum when we have been on trips together (without husbands). Separate beds and we know each other very well. I share a bedroom with my husband. I wouldn't want to share a room with anyone else I can think of. I would never, ever have shared a room with my former MIL or sisters in law when I was married to first husband. Not even if that room was as big as a football pitch. No way , never. My DIL is American. I will have to ask her if this is a thing for her family too.

No no no!

@AnotherEmma

😱

YANBU. Horrendous idea. I would die on this hill.

Absolutely. No fucking way. I'd sleep in the car park before I'd share a room with in-laws.

I try and avoid sleeping in the same room as my husband, never mind his mother! Glad he's listened to you.

Californian here, I don't know if this is an American thing but it sounds awful. Agree to book yourself a separate room!