To not want to share a room with my inlaws

[nestinginnl]

Myself, my husband and our 6 month old son are going on holiday to Hawaii in two weeks. He's from Southern California so we're tying the trip in with seeing his family. On the night we get back from Hawaii he's booked us a hotel room by the airport as the flight gets in late. This happened months ago. I just found out it's for all of us, his mother included, in one room. Not only that but a week later when we fly home there's another hotel booked to split the journey, this time for the three of us, his mother, and his sister (who is a perfectly well meaning person but I don't get on with her and find her very uncomfortable to be around due to multiple past-events).

I wasn't asked about any of this, it was just organised behind my back.

We are not broke. We do not have to save $100 on a room. This is our first holiday in years. It's a replacement for our covid-cancelled honeymoon.

AIBU to be feel upset and want separate rooms?

Yes - YABU, rooms are expensive, it's just two nights

No - YANBU, he's in the wrong, spend the money and have your own space

Are they coming with you to Hawaii? I'd be checking the room configuration there too. I'm surprised they want to share a room, can't imagine my in-laws ever wanting to do this.

Oh Lord no, Id nip this in the bud now else this will become the norm. Its bloody weird. Put your foot down and tell him that its not on

I politely requested to book separate rooms.

Now he's walked off and isn't talking to me.

This is going well.

@LunaAndHerMoonDragons

Are they coming with you to Hawaii? I'd be checking the room configuration there too. I'm surprised they want to share a room, can't imagine my in-laws ever wanting to do this.

My MIL is coming, but I booked that one so it's separate.

@nestinginnl

I politely requested to book separate rooms.

Now he's walked off and isn't talking to me.

This is going well.

What?? Is he always a bully?

WTF! This is all kinds of wrong!!!
What was your DH thinking!
I would be booking a room for you and baby and say that your DH is welcome to join you if he chooses. I would have to have serious words over this one!
Good luck.

So four adults and a baby in one room. How many bathrooms? I'm assuming one.

Absolute nightmare from the sound of it.

If they all want to crowd in together like kids on a sleepover good for them.

Book yourself into a single room with your baby.

And none of her posts suggest she would be happy to leave her baby in another room? So why bring it up? It’s a stupid suggestion. You’re just stirring. She doesn’t want her inlaws to see her in her pyjamas or hear her using the bathroom or vice versa! She doesn’t want to have to take all her clothes into the tiny hotel bathroom to change after showering. She doesn’t want to have to worry about waking everyone up during nightfeeds for her baby (however she’s feeding him). Fair enough. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to spend time with them when she’s dressed and showered.

Lunacy

No. NO

NO

absolutely not.

no.

@nestinginnl

I politely requested to book separate rooms.

Now he's walked off and isn't talking to me.

This is going well.

Why is he being so unreasonable? Twat.

Above post is in response to NorthSouthCatlady

@pigsDOfly see l thought it was just me who wondered about the bathroom situation! 4 adults getting showered and dressed with 1 bathroom will take forever

Hell no. Id never go on holiday with relatives anyway.

@HeyUpits2022

No. NO

NO

absolutely not.

no.

Does he always behave this way if you have a difference of opinion, or is it because he cannot see how just because your dh was brought up by this woman, you were not and therefore do not have, and are not required to have a close enough relationship with her to share a bedroom?

This is so WEIRD. Just to save a little bit of money? And now he’s throwing a strop?

Absolutely make sure there’s separate rooms!

I would keep your husband in with you and the baby though, especially if the baby still wakes in the night.

I’m surprised they’ve found a room for four adults and a baby

The thought of this is making me significantly uncomfortable. No way would I consider this in a million years. However much of an arsehole he is about this you need to book your own room.

YANBU at all, it’s rude that he hasn’t asked you.

DH and I have variously shared a room with his mum or my mum but it was always when everyone was in complete agreement.

Did you say your husband is American?

Based on my very limited experience a lot of hotel rooms in the US have several beds - it seems to be the norm that everyone all crams in together. I blame The Waltons!

I'm annoyed enough at having to share a big holiday rental with extended family, let alone one bedroom and bathroom!

Yowzers! No way in hell.

I’m surprised you can even get a hotel room for that occupancy in the first place.

Book another room yourself.

WTF have I just read. Absolutely not unreasonable. Who the hell does that? I would rather forego the holiday than share a room between 5 adults, that's awful. I can barely cope with DP's breathing

Absolutely not-i dont understand why hes got the hump why would you want to share a room with your in laws it makes no sense