To not want to share a room with my inlaws

[nestinginnl]

Myself, my husband and our 6 month old son are going on holiday to Hawaii in two weeks. He's from Southern California so we're tying the trip in with seeing his family. On the night we get back from Hawaii he's booked us a hotel room by the airport as the flight gets in late. This happened months ago. I just found out it's for all of us, his mother included, in one room. Not only that but a week later when we fly home there's another hotel booked to split the journey, this time for the three of us, his mother, and his sister (who is a perfectly well meaning person but I don't get on with her and find her very uncomfortable to be around due to multiple past-events).

I wasn't asked about any of this, it was just organised behind my back.

We are not broke. We do not have to save $100 on a room. This is our first holiday in years. It's a replacement for our covid-cancelled honeymoon.

AIBU to be feel upset and want separate rooms?

Yes - YABU, rooms are expensive, it's just two nights

No - YANBU, he's in the wrong, spend the money and have your own space

Your DH sounds like a pratt.

Definitely just book yourself a single room for yourself and baby.

@Madcats

Did you say your husband is American?

Based on my very limited experience a lot of hotel rooms in the US have several beds - it seems to be the norm that everyone all crams in together. I blame The Waltons!

I'm annoyed enough at having to share a big holiday rental with extended family, let alone one bedroom and bathroom!

We are now talking about it and it does seem to be an American thing. He says they used to do big family vacations where they would cram in as many as possible and only get an extra room when it's at capacity.

It never even occurred to him that this would be a thing for me.

We so rarely run into cultural differences in our marriage!

I’ve shared a room with my MiL once: but we went together on a trip to London and stayed overnight and it was fine!

This is crazy.

Seriously? He walked off because or your more than reasonable request?

He just doesn't want to upset his mother.

Tell him he's choosing to upset the wrong person, to get over himself, and sort it out.

You're unit unreasonable but I don't necessarily share the outrage or think it's such a big deal. It's just the nights when traveling and not the whole "honeymoon" holiday.

OMG, the horror. No way is reasonable except maybe if were the 1930s depression. Hotel rooms are small as it is, sharing with in laws,no no no. That idea can fuck right off.

It's a North American thing. The Canadians are the same. I worked away there and they wanted me to share a room. With a colleague. Bugger that for a game of soldiers.

I bet some Americans will be along soon to say its not an American thing. More likely its a 'his family' thing. Put a stop to it right now.

It’s not the whole holiday, it’s the airport nights,

That is horrific

This is my idea of hell. Thankfully it is also my in laws idea of hell too.

Let me get this straight. Your DH wants to share a room with his Mum? That’s really weird.

@Wnkingawalrus

Let me get this straight. Your DH wants to share a room with his Mum? That’s really weird.

🙄

No just no. I share with my adult DD's if it's just the 3 of us in expensive London but we've booked 3 rooms for when we all go (dp and dsd as well, dsd and dd1 are sharing, dd2 and her dp are coming too)

I wouldn’t even want to share with my own family who we are extremely close to. Not a chance I’d be happy with this arrangement.

Sometimes, and this is definitely one of those times, when the right thing to do is to just book another room.

I'm guessing he will be very grateful on the day. And if he isn't, well too bad. You and the baby will be ok.

Oh god no! I’d sleep in the bath rather than share a room with my in-laws… they did once try to put me in a tiny twin caravan bedroom with his two young sisters. They were very put out when I refused to go along with that set up too .

It's bad enough you are taking MIL on what is, in effect, your honeymoon, without sharing a room for a couple of nights, too!

Hell no.

I had to share a room recently on a charity event. With a stranger.

I had to give myself a good talking to in the en-suite.

I totally get it OP! I will only share a room with one of my closest mates or my sister, no one else.
Especially not people I don't know well.

I adore my inlaws, I still would not share a room with them and they wouldn’t want to either. Madness

@JDaytona

YANBU!!!! Wtf was he thinking.

Book a separate room for yourself and the baby.

Even better - book yourself a single and let the baby stay with everyone else....one great nights sleep

Tbh I'm surprised he'd do this as it woukd jeopardise his chances of sex on what is basically your honeymoon. Or does he want to do it when they're in the room too?

I was going to say I'd have a single room and leave the baby in with them!

Oh and my dh is American and obviously in-laws too. Nope nope nope from him too.