DH smoking weed with my 19yo DS

[ofwarren]

My DH and I have been married for 7 years and have 2 DS together (5&7) and I have a DS from a previous relationship.
DH used to smoke weed on and off but it became daily and he started smoking it in the house with my 19 year old son. I blew my top and threw away all drugs and paraphernalia and told them both that I do not want drugs in the house around my younger children.

A few days ago I went downstairs and DH had lit the scented candles which I thought was odd, but he just said he liked the ambiance. Tonight I forgot to take my medication and went downstairs and the candles were lit again and there was a strong smell of weed. Both DH and DS tried to lie to me and say they didn't use any, then they tried to say it was just DS. It was obvious it was both of them because they have both got red eyes.
DH saying I'm overreacting, there is nothing wrong with it and they only lied because they knew how I would react.

I'm furious that drugs are in my house again and also furious about being lied to.
AIBU?
What would you do in this situation?
Both DS and DH work and DS has high functioning ASD.

I think ultimately it's boiling down to his disrespectful attitude towards you. He won't even consider compromise, he just wants it his way and tough to you @ofwarren

If it were me in your situation, i would leave or I think I would contact the disability team at the local authority and express your concerns and ask if they can support with it. I would also speak to your local drug use service and ask for some intervention too. If DH/DS are doing it around younger DC then I would also reach out to local authority early help team for their support. Sometimes, it gets through to people when it's an outside agency

I hope you have some real life support OP

@TrickorTreacle

YABU OP.

Go to university and you'll find that smoking weed is as common as smoking cigarettes. I say this as as non-smoker myself, but it is reality.

It's OPs house. With young children in, and OP quite reasonably doesn't want it in her home.

@OhWhyNot

BettyBag you claim you work with drug and alcohol users

And you have those opinions! That is certainly not from people who know what they are talking about.

Go to mental health ward you will soon realise what utter nonsense you are posting

I worked on mental health wards for years. It's bollocks.

Haven't rtft but the only thing you can really be 'livid' about is the lying and the smoking of weed in the house, which is shitty. Your son and your husband are adults and it's up to them what they smoke. Also, in my experience, it's right that ss don't really give a fuck about a bit of weed.

[quote thingymaboob]@BettyBag "weed in itself is never an issue" - you are either a fool or completely inexperienced in this area[/quote]
I am extremely experienced in this area.

If you smoke weed excessively every day for 50 years it will definitely fuck you up.

If you drank alcohol excessively everyday you wouldn't make it to 50 years.

I'm not claiming that weed is harmless. I'm saying that most people could say they have been drinking alcohol for 50 years by their late 60s and nobody would react all aghast and pearl clutchy like you did when you responded to the first poster.

You worked on MH wards for years and it’s bollocks that cannabis isn’t an issue

When were you last on a ward ?

@ofwarren how are you doing?

Do either of them drive a car? That would be my first concern. I have been to funerals of people who have died in road crashes and would not wish that on you or anyone else.