To contact the school about this tomorrow

[cornbeeflegs]

My eldest DD (13) goes swimming with one of her friends on a Wednesday evening, has done since last August, at the local leisure centre. She goes straight from school to her friend's house, has dinner, does homework, etc and then they go to the pool for 8pm, spend an hour in the open swim session, then she gets dropped back here by one of friend's parents.
She came back very subdued this evening, thought maybe she'd had a fallout with friend or something, eventually she opened up and said she'd got into trouble with one of her teachers. Asked her which lesson it was in and what had happened, then she said it was at swimming.
Apparently DD and friend had been waiting for their lift home after swim session when one of their teachers had seen them, recognised them as being from her school because they were in uniform, and then proceeded to tell them off for not wearing it as per school rules, even though they weren't at school they were still "representing the school" by wearing it. She's asked them both to see her first thing tomorrow morning.
Usually I'm supportive of school and if my children transgress the rules then they face the consequences. But surely this is too harsh?

[OfstedOffred]

Yanbu it sounds excessive

At 13 I definitely definitely would have been wearing my skirt no more than an inch below my arse if a teacher wasnt looking. Could it have been something like that, massively hitched up skirt? Some of the teenage girls where I live walk to the bus stop with their skirts not even covering their bums, I know there have been complaints to the school about it and occasionally there's obviously a crack down as it stops for a while.

[ldontWanna]

@Mellowyellow222

I went to a strict school and we would have been scolded for this by the stricter teachers

It’s just one of those things, you sucked it up. There was the odd warrior mum who kicked up a fuss about her little darling getting told off, and we all rolled our eyes and sniggered at the mum!!

Mine told me that’s life.

Yes it’s a petty teacher but kids get told off - it’s a school rule - why are you so worked up?

Because it was gone 9 pm, after physical activity and changing and a teacher fussed over a tie and an untucked shirt. It's pathetic really, even more so to extend it to "come to my office tomorrow morning ".

[Twinklights]

Honestly unless they were behaving anti-socially or they’d drawn some genitalia on their school shirts I’d be telling the school to do one if they try to punish your daughter. It’s a bit over kill if they were just a bit untidy after out of sports!

[ArrrMeHearties]

Total overreaction from the teacher imo. They aren't in school at gone 8pm so they shouldn't be policed as such

[politicaca]

Seems OTT

[Mellowyellow222]

At 13 would this not be a great life lesson for you daughter to handle herself?

If she did break a school rule she should expect to get told off.

If you don’t agree with a school rule then worries to the headmaster or bird of governors, but while the rule is in pace and while you chose to send your child to that school surely you see that you child might get told off for breaking the odd rule?

I know I sound old fashioned, but surely navigating rules, deciding to break the silly ones and occasionally getting told off is all sort of growing up.

Mummy ringing in every time daughter gets scolded seems a bit OTT. Keep your powder dry for the big stuff (like if they expel her for this rather then remind her of the rules😂)

[Caddycat]

My DD's uniform policy is very clear that as long as they wear the uniform they represent the school and must do it properly. This involves wearing the blazer at all times, in all weathers, no matter where you are. I can't imagine a teacher enforcing this several hours after school in a completely different setting, unless the girls were being anti social or messing around. I'd make sure your daughter is straight with you before going to complain to the school.

[OppsUpsSide]

Mummy ringing in every time daughter gets scolded seems a bit OTT.

If they want to take students to task during school hours that’s part of school life, outside of school hours unless it’s a safe guarding concern they need to find a new hobby.

[Mellowyellow222]

Idiotwanda - I’m not saying the teacher wasn’t being a bit OTT - I am just saying kids get scolded in school. It’s not the end of the world and it doesn’t always necessitate a parent riding in.

We alll got told of in school for doing things that weren’t a big deal. I would have been told if by some teachers for this. We would have apologised, but he’d about the teacher and got on with our lives.

I think today things are blown out of all proportion. Child breaks a silly school rules, child gets scolded, child moves on. I just don’t see why there has to be such outrage around a child getting told off.

[Ileflottante]

I went to quite a poncy private school and they were evangelical about how we represented the school when in uniform outside of the school gates. I got a Saturday detention for being caught drinking while in uniform out of school hours. 🙄

[WorstXmasEver]

Yes I'd contact the teacher & ask what they were playing at.

[Mollymoostoo]

@WabbitsAndWeasels

Surely unless they were messing about or misbehaving and identifiable in the uniform then it's really no business of the school. They weren't using school facilities, in the vacinity of the school or behaving badly so the school really shouldn't get involved.

We had occasions as teenagers where I'd be out and about in uniform well after school hours (similar reasons to OP) and my school wouldn't have cared. I think unless they were misbehaving this is way overstepping the remit of the school and its uniform. After all how wrong could they be wearing it at this chilly time of year? No blazer? No tie? It's not like summer where someone might just be wearing a vest top, the school skirt and their blazer draped over their arm.

My mum would definitely have contacted the school on my behalf and asked some questions regarding how far the reach of the school is regarding uniform. I'd also ask why she wanted to your DD (forget the friend for now) and if she had any kind of punishment planned.

100% agree. The children do not represent the school at all. They have no choice e but to attend, they are not walking billboards and comment like that make me so mad.
Fighting whilst in school uniform makes the school look bad but this situation isn't the same. And yes, I am a teacher.

[ArabellaScott]

1000x this. Uniform enforcement is the end, not the means for far too many schools. It's a ridiculous distraction from behaviour management and actual teaching. And it leads to petty draconian behaviour like this.

High time the UK got over its uniform fetish.

Completely agree. Just petty rule-making for the sake of it.

[Lucycantdance]

This is completely ridiculous. Shaming children without their shirt tucked in, out of school hours when they've been swimming. Anyone defending this - I would ask you to imagine it was a work scenario with an adult involved.

I am not sure if I would contact the school but I would be backing my child and helping them handle the situation.

[whatever1980]

I'd be pleased to see a teenage girl out doing exercise in the evening (especially swimming as girls usually drop out of swimming at this age) and not on a phone or tablet.

[jimmyhill]

@Hankunamatata

If your kids is wearing school uniform and its identifiable which school then yes they need to wear it properly or get changed

Why and on what authority?

Bizarre

[Quackpot]

If a teacher had approached me at that age at nine o clock at night, and commented on my clothing, I'd have retorted with "fuck off yer nonce" or something similar, and absolutely refused to go to the meeting and denied it ever happened. But then I was a bit of a twat.

[PinkMoon22]

@Quackpot

If a teacher had approached me at that age at nine o clock at night, and commented on my clothing, I'd have retorted with "fuck off yer nonce" or something similar, and absolutely refused to go to the meeting and denied it ever happened. But then I was a bit of a twat.

😂😂😂😂

I felt like your a Geordie too?

[PinkMoon22]

Feel

[Quackpot]

Close @PinkMoon22 🤣

[surreygirl1987]

Hmmm. I'm a teacher. Even though this is in the school rules for many schools, it does sound a little heavy handed to pull them in tomorrow - I'd probably simply remind them of the rules and wish them goodnight.

However... how positive are you that your child is telling the whole truth? It's amazing how many parents get entirely different stories about what actually happened, and the parents are usually shocked to find that their child has lied. I'd reserve judgement until you hear the other side of the story if I were you...

[JugglingJanuary]

For years the girls swimming lessons were done through a company that used the school pool. As long as they were 'decent' we'd chivvy them outside & into the cars, ties 🤣🤣🤣

Plenty of teachers around, either weren't bothered or weren't prepared to 'tell kids off that were with parents'

Easy to pick on two younger girls on their own, power hungry twat.

Slightly loosened tie & untucked shirt at the pool at that time of night, she needs to get a bloody life.

[halloweenie13]

I would raise a complaint, yes in most rules it says they are representing the school, but they have just come out of swimming with various other things to carry and aren't going to look perfect they aren't under school jurisdiction whilst outside of school premises and hours, nor is it appropriate for a teacher to approach two young girls on their own outside of those instances and berate them for not following a rule especially given the circumstance. Nor is it appropriate for her to comment on their clothing or implication of anything other without other staff or parents around and not even ask if they are ok or need someone to wait with them! Also, you literally bought the uniform (and from an independent shop I can only assume) literally anyone could buy the clothes and wear it in however way they want they have no control over things not on their premises or time as long as it isn't causing deep offence or harm.

[Staffy1]

Seems normal enough to me, but then I went to a very strict school 100 years ago.

[tricky29]

If she was in uniform and acting/behaving appropriately I’d be asking what exactly she’s done wrong to SLT....bypass the teacher who has been heavy handed.