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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact the school about this tomorrow

405 replies

cornbeeflegs · 19/01/2022 22:02

My eldest DD (13) goes swimming with one of her friends on a Wednesday evening, has done since last August, at the local leisure centre. She goes straight from school to her friend's house, has dinner, does homework, etc and then they go to the pool for 8pm, spend an hour in the open swim session, then she gets dropped back here by one of friend's parents.
She came back very subdued this evening, thought maybe she'd had a fallout with friend or something, eventually she opened up and said she'd got into trouble with one of her teachers. Asked her which lesson it was in and what had happened, then she said it was at swimming.
Apparently DD and friend had been waiting for their lift home after swim session when one of their teachers had seen them, recognised them as being from her school because they were in uniform, and then proceeded to tell them off for not wearing it as per school rules, even though they weren't at school they were still "representing the school" by wearing it. She's asked them both to see her first thing tomorrow morning.
Usually I'm supportive of school and if my children transgress the rules then they face the consequences. But surely this is too harsh?

OP posts:
Idontevenknow · 19/01/2022 22:29

I would and see what us actually said tomorrow but unless she was setting a bin on fire or terrorising old ladies I don't see how she has done any damage to the schools reputation

In fact they teacher should be pleased that they are engaging in healthy social activities such as swimming

Original poster
cornbeeflegs · 19/01/2022 22:29

@Cissyandflora

Bloody hell that was a lot of detail before finding out what happened.
Sorry, I just thought context might help
OP posts:
Rosebel · 19/01/2022 22:29

That's ridiculous. Okay my DDs school say if your in uniform wear it properly as you're representing the school etc but they don't actually enforce it outside school hours.
Loads of the kids go out after school without their ties and the teachers just look the other way (because they probably have better things to do with their time).
I think I'd see what happens tomorrow but if she's punished I'd raise it with school.

FloatyBoaty · 19/01/2022 22:29

I’m sure this isn’t the case- but there’s nothing else she was doing is there? Mucking about or whatnot?

Quite standard for schools to enforce discipline if kids are in uniform and seen doing things in the street that reflect badly on the school eg (and I’m not saying this is your daughter or her friend) smoking, being loud on the bus etc. I remember at school there were ALWAYS bollockings about kids that had been In Uniform chucking fries around McDonald’s after school or whatever...

Might be totally wrong, but could be worth asking if there’s not more she wants to tell you.

MumofHarryx · 19/01/2022 22:30

feel for ya hun x

Original poster
cornbeeflegs · 19/01/2022 22:32

I think the thing that pisses me off the most is that as she's sitting here with me, eating toast and drinking hot choc, she still looks smarter than some of the students I see going to the same school in the mornings

OP posts:
3Daddy31982 · 19/01/2022 22:32

@Bobbybobbins

I am a secondary teacher and I think this is utterly ridiculous. If I saw a child at the leisure centre in the evening in any form of uniform or not, would just say hello and that's it.
This
toppkatz · 19/01/2022 22:33

I despair.

3Daddy31982 · 19/01/2022 22:33

@cornbeeflegs

I think the thing that pisses me off the most is that as she's sitting here with me, eating toast and drinking hot choc, she still looks smarter than some of the students I see going to the same school in the mornings
Is it one of those new-fangled Academies?
Original poster
cornbeeflegs · 19/01/2022 22:33

@Rosebel

That's ridiculous. Okay my DDs school say if your in uniform wear it properly as you're representing the school etc but they don't actually enforce it outside school hours. Loads of the kids go out after school without their ties and the teachers just look the other way (because they probably have better things to do with their time). I think I'd see what happens tomorrow but if she's punished I'd raise it with school.
Yep, that's what I'll do I think. Pointless trying to prejudge what's going to happen. Thank you
OP posts:
ldontWanna · 19/01/2022 22:34

Seriously? I thought uniforms were supposed to be about creating a level playing field and avoiding peer pressure, rather than making sure they all look like proper little soldiers. How can a school control what a child wears outside of school hours?

That's the official party line but it's complete bollocks. Otherwise we wouldn't have so many schools where the uniform costs hundreds and plenty of ridiculous rules.

pointythings · 19/01/2022 22:35

@BashStreetKid

This sort of pettiness is why school uniforms need to be abolished.
1000x this. Uniform enforcement is the end, not the means for far too many schools. It's a ridiculous distraction from behaviour management and actual teaching. And it leads to petty draconian behaviour like this.

High time the UK got over its uniform fetish.

ldontWanna · 19/01/2022 22:35

@cornbeeflegs

I think the thing that pisses me off the most is that as she's sitting here with me, eating toast and drinking hot choc, she still looks smarter than some of the students I see going to the same school in the mornings
Just wait and see what happens tomorrow, even if it's annoying she's worried about it. Depending on what the teacher says/does then you can intervene if needed.
Eightiesfan · 19/01/2022 22:35

That teacher needs to take action to get that stick which seems to be firmly wedged up her ass removed. Her self-importance is astounding.

OppsUpsSide · 19/01/2022 22:36

No I wouldn’t be able to support that, I would be inclined to suggest to the teacher that as my child was under my care at the time of her ‘misdemeanour’ I am happy to speak with him/her and go from there.

3Daddy31982 · 19/01/2022 22:36

@Rosebel

That's ridiculous. Okay my DDs school say if your in uniform wear it properly as you're representing the school etc but they don't actually enforce it outside school hours. Loads of the kids go out after school without their ties and the teachers just look the other way (because they probably have better things to do with their time). I think I'd see what happens tomorrow but if she's punished I'd raise it with school.
We had this. Basically equates to don't act up/ show us up.

Somewhat ironic as the deputy head got arrested allegedly for getting students to run around nude. allegedly he was a premier league referee and allegedly told them he could get them into pro football for running around his living room naked. My 12 year old self wondered whoever fell for that...

erinaceus · 19/01/2022 22:37

I suspect she wasn't, given what you have said, but the one thing that came to mind was that when I was at school we were expressly forbidden from smoking when wearing our uniform. Maybe she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing whilst in her uniform?

If not, tbh it sounds a bit draconian but she might just have to see what the teacher says tomorrow, hopefully there won't be any punishment beyond a talking-to.

HaveringWavering · 19/01/2022 22:37

She bothered to put her tie back on at 9pm after swimming?! Wow, she should get a medal for that, not a punishment.

reluctantbrit · 19/01/2022 22:38

@BashStreetKid

This sort of pettiness is why school uniforms need to be abolished.
Exactly.

DD wears her uniform once every other week to her drama class if she can't be bothered to change between coming home and going out again.

Goodness, someone may recognise the logo and find out she is joking around with a friend.

How on earth did I survive until I was 18 without a single year wearing a uniform?

Arnia · 19/01/2022 22:38

It's a pretty common uniform rule but I wouldn't actually expect a teacher to enforce it unless the children were doing something undesirable like smoking or something. Why was the friend in her uniform? surely she'd have changed at home? DD too - it wouldn't be very comfortable staying in uniform all evening.

Anyway the teacher may let it slide tomorrow. If she tries to impose some sort of sanction I would challenge it but otherwise I would just tell DD to throw a pair of leggings in her bag on Wednesdays.

3Daddy31982 · 19/01/2022 22:38

He spent time at HMP. I personally liked him so I guess you never can tell.

lennybruceisnotafraid · 19/01/2022 22:40

So at gone 9pm after swimming they weren't immaculate, even bothering to put a bloody tie on, getting changed in damp and humid air? I'd be raging and would definitely ask the teacher to explain her side before talking to the children. Ugh, power trip.

Like PP they deserve a medal for bothering to even put the tie on.

Foolsrule · 19/01/2022 22:42

What is the world coming to?! What a twat of a teacher (and I am normally always on their side).

Mellowyellow222 · 19/01/2022 22:44

I went to a strict school and we would have been scolded for this by the stricter teachers

It’s just one of those things, you sucked it up. There was the odd warrior mum who kicked up a fuss about her little darling getting told off, and we all rolled our eyes and sniggered at the mum!!

Mine told me that’s life.

Yes it’s a petty teacher but kids get told off - it’s a school rule - why are you so worked up?

Thatsplentyjack · 19/01/2022 22:46

I would phone the school and ask to speak to her. If she really did give them into trouble for not wearing their uniforms properly, I would tell her she was utterly ridiculous.

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