Page 8 | Do you, or have you ever lived alone?

velvet24 · 2022-01-19T20:12:15+00:00

I have not, home, uni, then home briefty and moved in with then bf now dh. I sometimes think how I would have liked to have my own apartment at some point and lived by myself, not get settled down at 21. Now it probably wont happen of course, just one of those things....i watch these dramas and feel a tiny ping of envy seeing someone going back to their own apartment, pouring their wine and just doing what they like! Of course wouldn't change my house of teens and pets and comings and goings but the thought of my 20's in my own apartment, would have been nice......

feelingdizzy · 20/01/2022 06:57

I am now for the first time !I married , had kids and divorced in my 20s brought the kids up by myself , and now in my 40s they have gone of to uni .
I like it mostly it's calming , I get to do what I want eat what when I want . I miss the kids but they do come home and this feels like the next stage of my life which is great .

BobbinThreadbare123 · 20/01/2022 07:08

I did after my divorce, for a good few years in my early 30s. Living was more lonely when XH was about! I really like living on my own; I am handy with DIY and I can watch what I want on telly! DH also lived on his own for a long time so we are able to exist in our house with understanding.

SoManyQuestionsHere · 20/01/2022 07:12

I've been living alone for the last six years.

Loved it for the first four. Then COVID put an end to easy socialising and getting my "people fix" from meeting friends or even just chatting with colleagues at the office.

It's really lonely now. I hate it.

XmasElf10 · 20/01/2022 07:15

Yes, 3 years. I still pine for my little flat. Now it’s me, DD and dog and I still really love it when she is at her dads!!

ECLT · 20/01/2022 07:15

I lived alone for 8 yrs before my now-husband moved in with me. I loved it and found it a huge adjustment when he moved in, I loved the silence, did what I wanted when I wanted, never lonely.
Now I have two kids and a dog thrown in too. I love them to bits but it can be overwhelming when we are all in at the same time, too much of a good thing! It's the noise and hustle and bustle, the mess and just feeling stifled I just never feel 'left alone' and sometimes need to go for a walk or busy myself elsewhere in the house so I can just switch off and recharge.

OhPatti · 20/01/2022 07:21

Yes. I preferred it. I love my DH, but am not very well suited to living with other people.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 20/01/2022 07:31

No, never completely alone. I moved into a shared house age 17, then when I met my boyfriend we moved in together. We married, had DS and then divorced, I moved out with DS and am long term single now but obviously live with DS so I'm not alone.

I don't ever plan to live with another partner so when DS moves out I will probably be alone. I like the idea.

galacticpixels · 20/01/2022 07:38

No, even the smallest of places would be eye wateringly expensive in my city, I don't know anyone who lives alone.

I lived in house shares in my uni city until I was 25, then I moved to the city I live in now and lived in house shares for another 2.5 years - then moved in with my partner.

Fetchthevet · 20/01/2022 07:44

Lived alone for about 7 years. Loved coming home to be able to properly relax. Loved eating when I liked, watching what I liked etc. I often think about my little flat and who might be living in it now.

userxx · 20/01/2022 08:29

@OhPatti

Yes. I preferred it. I love my DH, but am not very well suited to living with other people.

Think I'm the same. Love having my own space that's completely mine.

silverley · 20/01/2022 08:31

I lived alone when I worked abroad for about 5 years, and then again the last year after splitting from my husband. First time I loved it, second time was much more difficult.

Living alone abroad I had apartments in cities, so living alone was a nice retreat from the world, but the option was still there to meet friends, go out for dinner, get food delivered, go to events, etc. I loved it and was so happy. The time on my own was really enjoyable and precious because it was in contrast to the busyness of work and friends.

The second time, the last year, was very different. All on my own in the countryside, absolutely the back of beyond, and during covid lockdowns and wfh too. Its been so lonely and difficult, sometimes I don't speak to anyone in real life for days, lots of daily tasks that go with the location are physically hard for someone on their own, and being so far from everything means you have no real social outlet without driving for hours, so it becomes too much effort and you end up staying at home for weeks on end. It's been the most depressing year of my life.

Two ends of the living alone spectrum there I think, but for me it's been most enjoyable when the time alone is a choice, and you have some social outlets too.

silverley · 20/01/2022 08:33

Actually, thinking about it, the absolute worst thing about living alone - no one to make you a cup of tea when you're ill. HATE living alone when I'm ill.

userxx · 20/01/2022 08:34

@silverley That's sounds really difficult, hope things get better for you soon.

IcedPurple · 20/01/2022 08:38

I'm 52, never been married or had kids, and have pretty much always lived alone except for brief periods when I was much younger and had to flat share.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

GiantSpider · 20/01/2022 08:51

I've never lived alone (except for a few weeks while DH was working abroad).

I went from parents to uni to various flat shares to moving in with DH (a year before we got married). Now we have three DC and DH is currently wfh so there's always someone around.

It's hard to be sure because I've never tried it, but I think I'd get a bit lonely if I was living on my own.

soberfabulous · 20/01/2022 08:53

For 20 years and I absolutely loved it! I love my husband but I find it hard living with a man.

thepeopleversuswork · 20/01/2022 08:53

I've lived on my own for two six-year stints. Absolutely love it. Would be very very reluctant to cohabit again.

NameChangeCity123 · 20/01/2022 08:56

Yes for 4 years and loved every minute of it

FluffyBooBoo · 20/01/2022 09:00

I do. I can't imagine ever wanting to live with someone again. But it's not for everyone.

Nutella22 · 20/01/2022 09:01

I lived alone for 11 years and loved it. Never once felt lonely and loved coming home to my own place after a busy day/night out. Was great decorating exactly as I wanted to etc...I had some periods of insomnia and used to go and sit in the lounge at 3am and watch tv or read without the worry about disturbing anyone!

However I really struggled when WFH during the first lockdown and ended up completely miserable in my flat (no garden or balcony) so sold up and moved back in with my parents- something I never thought I'd do. I still miss my own place although mentally it's probably better for me not to be on my own at the moment.

blyn72 · 20/01/2022 09:05

I have lived alone (live alone now), and liked it. However when I was very young I was nervous. I liked my own company and space but was extremely scared at night.

Bagamoyo1 · 20/01/2022 09:09

I lived alone for 8 years after university. Occasionally bit lonely but mostly fine, and I had lots of very local friends. The best thing about living alone, although I didn't properly appreciate it at the time, was knowing that when I came home at the end of the day, everything would be exactly where I left it. Nothing moved unless I moved it. No hunting for the TV remote! No mess in the kitchen unless I'd made it.

CloudPop · 20/01/2022 09:09

@mjf981

I did for 2 years in my 20s. Hated it. So lonely. Surprising really because I’m an introvert by nature.

And funnily enough, I'm an extrovert by nature, but loved living on my own on my 20s.

HazelBite · 20/01/2022 09:11

Loved it until I was ill, then it was frightening. I found it haed to adjust to having DH with me when he moved in

theleafandnotthetree · 20/01/2022 09:16

@silverley

I lived alone when I worked abroad for about 5 years, and then again the last year after splitting from my husband. First time I loved it, second time was much more difficult.

Living alone abroad I had apartments in cities, so living alone was a nice retreat from the world, but the option was still there to meet friends, go out for dinner, get food delivered, go to events, etc. I loved it and was so happy. The time on my own was really enjoyable and precious because it was in contrast to the busyness of work and friends.

The second time, the last year, was very different. All on my own in the countryside, absolutely the back of beyond, and during covid lockdowns and wfh too. Its been so lonely and difficult, sometimes I don't speak to anyone in real life for days, lots of daily tasks that go with the location are physically hard for someone on their own, and being so far from everything means you have no real social outlet without driving for hours, so it becomes too much effort and you end up staying at home for weeks on end. It's been the most depressing year of my life.

Two ends of the living alone spectrum there I think, but for me it's been most enjoyable when the time alone is a choice, and you have some social outlets too.

I feel for you, I too found living alone and working from home during covid - and I was only doing it 50% of the time - very hard. I live in a village and am so grareful that I bought where I did because when I was looking 4 years ago, it was houses out in the country that I initially focused on. Just to be able to hear cars going past, go for a walk easily and maybe have a chat with somene, to see and hear life going on, that was a lifeline. I'd never consider living in an isolated rural area again, even if with a partner. If something happened to them you'd be stuck there on your own.