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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you, or have you ever lived alone?

256 replies

velvet24 · 19/01/2022 20:12

I have not, home, uni, then home briefty and moved in with then bf now dh. I sometimes think how I would have liked to have my own apartment at some point and lived by myself, not get settled down at 21. Now it probably wont happen of course, just one of those things....i watch these dramas and feel a tiny ping of envy seeing someone going back to their own apartment, pouring their wine and just doing what they like! Of course wouldn't change my house of teens and pets and comings and goings but the thought of my 20's in my own apartment, would have been nice......

OP posts:

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 19/01/2022 22:56

I lived alone most of my 20s and 30s. When I moved in with DP we agreed we needed a spare room (which he uses as a kind of “man cave”) so we could have our own space if we needed it - he had also lived alone.

I mostly loved it, but I did find it difficult when things went wrong in my flat - having to source tradespeople and so on. I was lucky to have a colleague who tended to knew “a man who did X” most times!

SockQueen · 19/01/2022 22:57

No - parents/uni/boyfriend-now-DH.

I think I'd quite like it though!

FinallyHere · 19/01/2022 22:57

The satisfaction of having my own front door was one of the best feelings ever.

Spent ten happy years there, while now DH and I worked so far apart that it wasn't possible to live in the same place.

While we lived apart we never had a cross word. Nothing to fight about. The first year after we moved in together took a lot of adjustment. We are still happy together but I do think fondly of my little (one up one down) house where my word was absolute law and there was no thought of having to compromise about anything. Sigh.

AllKnowingGerbil · 19/01/2022 23:00

Yes I had a little flat for 8 years. It was lovely.

Then I lived with ex for 18 months, didnt suit me. Or he didnt.

Now I live as a lone parent and find it lonely cos parenting is hard work and I cant laze about in my own space like my single days. I miss simple stuff like watching telly with someone.

onedayoranother · 19/01/2022 23:01

Yea decades! Went to uni at 17 where I had my own dorm room for a year (does that count?) I then moved to a flat at 22, then had a flatmate at 25, but on my own since I was 29. I got married at 40 but only lived with my husband a few months before. I live with one of my kids now (I'm 59 and she's still in school).

FinallyHere · 19/01/2022 23:05

Remembered that although I loved the experience overall, I quickly learned the importance of having things scheduled that I could do if I wanted to.

Or not, if something better showed up.

It was pretty much my thirties, when I was active in a badminton club and a running group. Working full time. Lovely life.

userxx · 19/01/2022 23:13

I lived alone for 10 years, my house was immaculate. I miss it.

Sunnytwobridges · 19/01/2022 23:14

Have lived alone for many years and I really love it. I rarely get bored or lonely, and I've lived with someone for about short while and I was lonely as hell so just having someone around doesn't mean I won't be lonely. Now I get nervous about ever meeting someone and having to move in together, as I love my alone time and space. Most people get on my nerves, then I start resenting them for being around lol

AdoraBell · 19/01/2022 23:19

I did in my early twenties. It was bliss. 6 years. Then I met DH, moved in with him, got married 23 years ago, had DC, they are now in Uni. I would be tempted to live alone again.

RealBecca · 19/01/2022 23:21

Loved it. Had my own routine, didn't need a boring chat about what to have for dinner- if I wanted cereal for tea at 10pm I could. Chose all my furniture and decorating. Know i could easily run a house without a man so i feel empowered and totally secure in walking away and being fine. Always something i wanted to watch on telly. No snoring or grub where I hadn't left it. Peeing with the door open. Indulged my own bad habits without annoying anyone. Loved it. Remembered thinking it would take something pretty darn special to make me want to change my situation.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/01/2022 23:28

Yes from 22 to about 30. Sometimes the occasional flat mate. It was nice but lonely. Then I met DH.

When the DC were small I used to have fantasies about living alone in a pristine flat with white carpets.

If anything happened to dh I could reconcile myself to living alone. I wouldn’t want to share my space with anyone but dh.

Charley50 · 19/01/2022 23:30

No. Always lived with family, then friends. then partner and kids, now just me and DC. I'm sort of looking forward to my own space when DC move out.

timestheyarechanging · 20/01/2022 00:15

Lived on my own for two years post divorce and my (older) children living with their dad, after 8yrs with me. I had never lived alone before. Always with parents, a friend or partner. I hated it. Now living with my partner. Much prefer not being alone.

notacooldad · 20/01/2022 00:18

I bought a house when I was 19 and met DJ when I was 25 so had 6 years by myself.
Absolutely loved it!

BrinksmansEntry · 20/01/2022 00:24

Never. Not sure i would like it, i quite like company. I moved out of home into share flats and then moved in with DH.

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 20/01/2022 00:40

yes. 2 years. best housemate ever.

PermanentTemporary · 20/01/2022 00:42

Ds is off to university next autumn unless something goes very badly wrong, and I CAN'T WAIT. I like my boyfriend but he's not moving in any time soon.

Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 02:04

I live alone... love it! I'm 28, moved out from parents at 27 (moved out for uni and came back after graduating)....

Love love love it. Bliss.

nalabae · 20/01/2022 06:12

I live alone with two dogs and a cat. In a few years will like probably one child.

murderontheorientexpress · 20/01/2022 06:18

Yes I did from 28-36 and loved it. I’ll be alone when DC leaves in a couple of years and I’m looking forward to it, obviously I’ll miss them but living alone is great!

Missey85 · 20/01/2022 06:27

I've always lived alone I like it better don't have to worry about anyone and can do as I please 😊

CheshireDing · 20/01/2022 06:42

I bought a house at 21 and lived alone in it for 4 years, loved it ! Just me and the dog.

It was quiet, tidy, could bring a man back on a Friday night then get rid of him Saturday morning

NumberTheory · 20/01/2022 06:45

I always had family, housemate or partner. It was just so expensive to rent a flat for one person. It’s my fantasy nowadays though. Since I had children!

CrunchyCarrot · 20/01/2022 06:49

Yes for nearly 3 years following divorce. Loved it. I was in my 40s, I couldn't do it now for health/mobility reasons. I do prefer my own company, though.

Wallywobbles · 20/01/2022 06:51

Is it living alone if you have dogs and cats?If so I lived alone for 8 years.

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