Do you, or have you ever lived alone?

[velvet24]

I have not, home, uni, then home briefty and moved in with then bf now dh. I sometimes think how I would have liked to have my own apartment at some point and lived by myself, not get settled down at 21. Now it probably wont happen of course, just one of those things....i watch these dramas and feel a tiny ping of envy seeing someone going back to their own apartment, pouring their wine and just doing what they like! Of course wouldn't change my house of teens and pets and comings and goings but the thought of my 20's in my own apartment, would have been nice......

@NumberTheory. Were shitty bedsits (with shared bathrooms, grim) not a thing amongst UK students? Very common for people of my generation of Irish students (late 40s), but then student accommodation was very very limited back in the 90s.

@theleafandnotthetree

Maybe I'm doing the pet ownership wrong. I love my dog and it's nice to have another living creature in the house but in no way is it any kind of replacement or subsitute for a human relationship and interaction like some on here present it.

I'll swap you my boyfriend for your dog.

Yes, it was absolutely brilliant.

God I miss it.

If anyone with a partner and kids says they don't fantasise about living alone sometimes, they are lying.

Me, I have a whole fantasy life where I live alone on a small olive farm in Amalfi , and I grow various produce and drive down to the local village every day to sell it. It's a simple life, but I get to go to the village cafe everyday for lunch, and listen to my Italian radio stations in the evening whilst reading ( I can magically speak fluent Italian in this life )

Sigh.

@userxx. Pictures please!

[quote theleafandnotthetree]@userxx. Pictures please![/quote]
No way.......... I'm not having you backing out of the deal :)

theleafandnotthetree I don’t think that happens much in the UK. Obviously I haven’t done a survey so my experience is limited to people where there is reason for me to know and things I read, but that’s not a set up I’ve really heard of for students.

[quote theleafandnotthetree]@NumberTheory. Were shitty bedsits (with shared bathrooms, grim) not a thing amongst UK students? Very common for people of my generation of Irish students (late 40s), but then student accommodation was very very limited back in the 90s.[/quote]
Yes my uni halls of residence were like this in 1999-2000. Good London uni, halls in posh area, but the accommodation was absolutely shite.
Long corridors of single rooms. Rooms had camp bed (!) sink and desk. Walls were whitewashed breeze blocks. Bathrooms with showers like a rough leisure centre changing rooms but mixed gender.
Shared kitchen with shite electric cooker.
I stayed at my BF's parent's house all year!

Lived on my own for years after Uni. Loved my own space. Now live with DH, but still love my own space. Would have no problems living alone again.

Sort of in a part-time kind of way! Post-divorce and with a 50/50 custody arrangement, in theory I'm on my own half the time, although in practice I stay with my partner in another city for 4 nights of that week. So I get 3 days out of every 14 to myself and occasionally - if one of us has other commitments - I get the full week, which is bliss!

CrumblyCrimble

I wouldn’t call halls like that, despite the shittiness of them, “living alone”. You’re thrown in with a bunch of other students with a private room and some shared space. That’s what halls are. It’s communal living accomodation.

No, never. I wouldn't describe how I lived at university as living alone either. Collegiate university, so I had my own room in college in my first two years, but with shared bathrooms, communal dining etc. And shared a flat in my 3rd and 4th years. I don't know anyone who lived alone, as such, at university tbh.

Yes. I fucking loved it.

Last 16 years with cat and dog. But best of both worlds as partner stays here 5 times a week

Loved living on my own. When I was first married my OH was in the army and based about four hours from home and I lived alone during the week - loved that!

I live alone and it's wonderful.

I am an extrovert and I go out socialising a lot do I never feel lonely and I love having my own space. I'd never live with anyone again.

I do have my mum round the corner and I think that helps too.

I live on my own most of the time as my DD is at university and I'm divorced late 50s. It's very nice to live just as I please and quite an adjustment when she comes home (though I love it too). I bought my place a year ago and it was the first place I've ever bought on my own (I lived in the ex family home for 15 years) and that's very satisfying - to choose everything myself. I love my new home and enjoy sourcing furnishings etc to make it just as I want it. But during lockdown and more recently it's been hard sometimes. It has deepened my resilience but I do get lonely from time to time as life seems to have got very quiet (and I've been out of work too). Like everything it's good and bad.

@NumberTheory

CrumblyCrimble

I wouldn’t call halls like that, despite the shittiness of them, “living alone”. You’re thrown in with a bunch of other students with a private room and some shared space. That’s what halls are. It’s communal living accomodation.

I was systematically left out by my peers at university and felt very much that I was living alone in halls. Except it was worse than living alone because I was surrounded by the noise of other people having fun and leaving me out of it.

I suspect my experience is far from unusual, unfortunately.

I was systematically left out by my peers at university and felt very much that I was living alone in halls. Except it was worse than living alone because I was surrounded by the noise of other people having fun and leaving me out of it.

I suspect my experience is far from unusual, unfortunately.

I understand that you didn't have the bonding experience that Halls is often sold as. But being lonely isn't the same as living alone. The fact you describe it as "worse than living alone" is evidence of that.

Most of the people here who have described living alone have had good things to say about it - the control of your environment seeming to be a key factor. That's not something you get in halls, whether you connect with the people you live with or not.

I understand that you didn't have the bonding experience that Halls is often sold as. But being lonely isn't the same as living alone. The fact you describe it as "worse than living alone" is evidence of that.

I may not have worded that in the best way, in hindsight, as I'm very much aware that 'alone' and 'lonely' aren't synonyms. In fact I prefer living alone to living with other people. What I meant was that I'd have been happier living alone at that time because I don't think I would have felt lonely at all living somewhere by myself, the loneliness of halls being a direct result of hearing uni life going on all around me and being left out of it.

I've very much enjoyed living alone.

I did twice. Once when I was 21 for a year and then between the ages of 24 and 29. Loved it. In fact I got together with DH when I was 26 but put off him moving in for 3 years even though it would have been cheaper/ more convenient because I knew that if I worked out (it did) this would be my last chance to have my own space. Now we have two DDs and I'm constantly surrounded by people 😂

I live alone with my children and I love it.

There is the issue of having the whole mental and financial (as well as practical) load on you alone, but on balance it’s worth it.

I think living alone is something most women will have to do at one stage of life, as we will likely be widows.

Maybe it's easier to cope with at the end of a hopefully long life, just as living by yourself in your 20s is probably easier than living by yourself in your 40s.

Yes from 16-24 when I moved in with my now husband.