Dog doing my head in, new baby on way and no room

[Lll898]

Hi It might just be me it might not I really don't know, I am an animal lover I want to add always had pets in my life.

Me and my partner had a baby boy born May 2021, complete accident but when we got our heads around it baby no. Two is due in may 2022

My hormones have been raging in this pregnancy and will openly admit, one day I can be happy and click of my fingers and I'm upset for no reason.

The issue stems from his dog at most at moment, it's a shar pei 7 years old as a breed they are known for being aloof and when not brought up around children not the best. We were evicted (non fault eviction in November 2021) our landlord passed away. So along with applying for private rentals we contacted housing association etc and we were lucky enough to be given a 2 bed flat first floor in a small block, it's not ideal but it's become home already.
The dog has no outside access unless we take her down on a lead and although the not most active breed she has so much energy pent up, she is becoming a nightmare in the home I can not blame her for this.
She goes down 3 or 4 times a day.
But the issue is as my partner works a rolling 4 or 5 on then off for 4 or 3, 12 hr shifts 14hr out I am pulling my hair out.

She has already totally destroyed the lounge carpet by running and digging the carpet, she is not happy I can't blame her but with baby and baby on the way I have brought up the suggestion if she does not settle down would it be best to look at rehoming her, so she has a better life with a garden etc again.

I am also due to return to work soon I'm on mat leave so left to her devices god knows what I am gonna return to.

I can't blame the dog, but as he does not see it when he is home she actually behaves a lot better than does for me, he sees it as me causing issues.

When baby born in May 2021 as she was no longer centre of attention she showed some real jealous behaviour to the point he did have to call in a behaviourist as I said the breed are known for being a bit odd a times. With the behaviour now and being in a flat I am already pulling my hair out as twice a day just to take her out for her business I walk her about a mile each time. I do mutilple trips up and down the stairs. Pram down baby down strapped in back up for dog and then the same in reverse. When second one here and before that I am bigger it's going to become harder.

He is replacing the carpet which has only been down 6 weeks not that I see much point at the moment.

But just the suggestion look I think it's actually better for the dog to be rehomed than staying here it's like I am the biggest witch known the man for suggesting it.

But what else can I do, an I being unreasonable or is he just seeing it as dog is family which I agree. But in my head watching her she is not happy 7 years having outside space and now trapped in really it's gonna drive her insane to a degree. And so my reasoning is surely she deserves better and when two babies so young she will really get no attention. He had her for two years before I met him and I moved into his house the rental we moved from in Nov 2021.

And no the answer is not move we do both work and although I will be back at work and then mat leave, private rental prices locally are through the roof and with two needing childcare it is a virtually impossible situation.

Thanks in advance

Not judging the OP but she should re-home

You are right people are so ridiculous putting dogs over children. First world problems.

@oakleaffy

That poor dog . So many dogs are at the mercy of utterly selfish owners. I’m afraid you are one. It beggars belief that people get dogs, make them go mad by lack of exercise and mental stimulation and then expect some other person to spend time and money sorting the dog out.

Please never own a dog again.

Lots of posts in this vein, desperate to give the OP a kicking. Completely unjustified

OP's partner HAD THE DOG BEFORE HE MET THE OP.

They were evicted and the housing association could ONLY offer a flat.

Fuck me, the doggy-bonkers brigade are out in force today. OP shoud prioritise the wellbeing of an animal over herself, her child, and unborn baby. She should shell out £££ on dog walkers and sodding doggy daycare, because everyone has £££ coming out of their ears.

OP, rehome. Best for dog and best for you.

@Strokethefurrywall

Are you also going to rehome DC1 when DC2 arrives? Your first kid may also be jealous of its sibling and bored with less of your attention and so act out? Kids need exercise and stimulation as much as dogs do. I don’t see the difference tbh?

Yes yes, it’s exactly the same isn’t it. Human babies you give birth to v dogs you have. 🙄Psycho.

animals do have feelings as well just in case you didnt know , they do wonder why the fuck they are suddenly being removed from their home when they arent wanted anymore , but sadly the reason op is getting these comments is animals are so often seen as disposible , and rescues see this all the bloody time , got a second kid on the way , dogs got to go

1. You had a dog in circumstances that benefitted the dog (e.g. the garden and large living space).
2. Your circumstances changed, the eviction was no fault of your own and must have been very difficult for you.
3. You recognise that the new circumstances are not conducive for dog ownership and are looking to do the kind thing and rehome.
4. You are allowed to have children.
5. Don't worry, you are not Satan!

If he doesn't want to rehome the dog he needs to find another way of meeting its needs. Its his dog and his responsibility. Not yours. Tell him you're not taking care of it anymore so he needs to sort out doggy daycare for when he's not around.

FGS just re-home the poor animal.

Your husband should be walking her once a day for a good 30 minutes, and then you take the dog out as well once a day, and then pay a dog walker.

We were in a similar situation. We had our dog and then a few years later DH was offered a really good job working away which enabled us to buy a house then we had 2 baby's within 18 months no one to help me walk him. I refused to give dog up but it got to the point I really felt he would be better off with another family. Now he has an amazing family that dote on him and I know I made the right choice.

@ThePlumVan

Rehome asap - someone out there will be waiting for a dog just like yours.

Unfortunately, the reality is that there won't be many people out there looking to re-home a 7yo Shar Pei.

As a breed, they have a life expectancy of 9-11 years, so this is an old dog. They also have a reputation for being aloof with dogs (at best) and reactive/aggressive at worst. This can cause issues if people want to use walkers, daycare or kennels when they go on holiday or have days out.

They are also not the healthiest breed and their skin folds need regular cleaning to avoid infection, so they're not particularly low-maintenance either.

They are not an easy breed and not on recommended for first time owners or families with young children - precisely because of the behaviour OP has described. I suspect if a 7yo dog is surrendered to rescue, that will probably be where it spends the rest of its' days.

This animal has a small amount of years on this planet, rehome them now, they deserve much much better than you can now offer.

As an animal lover, it's really important that you move quickly to end this animals distress.

OP's partner HAD THE DOG BEFORE HE MET THE OP.

They were evicted and the housing association could ONLY offer a flat.

Fuck me, the doggy-bonkers brigade are out in force today. OP shoud prioritise the wellbeing of an animal over herself, her child, and unborn baby. She should shell out £££ on dog walkers and sodding doggy daycare, because everyone has £££ coming out of their ears.

Agree with all of this. It isn’t OP’s dog for a start - it isn’t like she bought a cute puppy on a whim one day and then went off it. And their living situation has changed significantly (through no fault of their own). People’s circumstances do change. When circumstances change sometimes it’s kindest to a dog - and safest - to rehome it.

A dog that’s never off lead, never gets high intensity exercise, has no garden access and has babies around them is going to get more and more stressed. You can rent a secure field by the half hour or hour so that your dog can burn off some energy off lead. If there are other dogs they play well with you can arrange with the owner to go halves on the cost and have a ‘play date.’

Having a quiet place that the dog can relax without being bothered by the babies is important too - where the dog can lie down and not be fussed.

If you want to rehome the dog then talk to a decent rehoming organisation and ask them if they can start looking for a new home for the dog while it continues to live with you. That would mean the dog avoided a stressful and confusing time in kennels and that if the rehoming didn’t work out the dog wouldn’t just be sold on preloved or passed on to an unsuitable home.

If you do end up rehoming the dog, please don’t get another one in a couple of years when it’s more convenient for you.

Rehome her because I would be scared of her biting the baby there is no way you could forgive yourself

Don't feel bad about re homing it's for the best

Some really harsh replies on here

OP you have been lumped with all the responsibility of this dog therefore the dog is yours. If I was you I would be rehoming it and I probably wouldn't even run it passed my partner.
Ignore all the nutters telling you it's awful to rehome a dog, and comparing the dog to your children 🙄. People's circumstances change, and as pps said, the dog will probably be happier in a home with a garden and no children.

Your circumstances have changed an awful lot in a short period of time. One baby can be stressful enough for a dog but now you’re going to have two. A flat isn’t ideal for a dog as you know and going from a house with garden to a small flat will have been a huge shock to the dogs system. It’s gone from being a dog with no children in the house in a house with a garden to a dog in a flat with a baby. It’s a big deal, the dogs behaviour is understandable.

I can understand why the situation is also stressing you out as much as it is the dog. Ultimately think it’s too much for the dog to handle and rehoming is the best solution for everyone.

OP I am a dog lover and former dog professional and I think you're getting far too much of a hard time on here.

I feel for you as your partner has left you trying to sort out this mess when it's his dog, you're trying to look after a baby and pregnant again too. He's a shit for just leaving this to you.

He either needs to take the dog out for 40-60 mins in the morning, in addition to your other 3 walks or pay for a dog walker to take him out for a solo walk at lunchtime.

If you haven't already, get stairgates put in doorways so you can separate the children from the dog.

I personally think the best option would be rehoming if you don't see yourself moving in the near future but I would give the above a go for the next couple of months, see if the situation improves and then make a final decision then.

@cereallover idiotic response

@cereallover

Poor dog. Maybe you should both be a bit more careful in future to prevent pregnancy.

FFS

[quote SituationCritical]At least you fully admit the dog isn't getting the care she deserves...a lot of people come on with posts about rehoming and blame the dog entirely. I do think you need to rehome her in these circumstances. It's only going to get worse with another baby on the way and she needs walking -a decent walk, not a stroll to the corner and back -at least twice a day as well as down to the garden and back. Ours go out at 7am for a decent walk and run off lead and then evening at 9pm for a few miles. They also go outside multiple times for the bathroom/change of scene. I'd also be going bonkers stuck inside all the time so I can see how she is. Contact the Shar Pei rescue for advice on rehoming
www.sharpeirescue.me.uk/[/quote]
This .

It is best for the dog .

Not sure why everyone is having a go at OP for not making changes when it is her partner's dog

Yes of course, ideally, a pet is for life, but life is unpredictable and sometimes takes unexpected turns. Like having a surprise baby and then having to move because your landlord passed away.

OP, deliver an ultimatum to your partner. Either he finds ways to keep the dog entertained / stimulated and put a stop to the destructive behaviour, or, sad as it is, you're going to re-home her.

It is unkind and selfish keeping the dog in this situation. The kindest thing for this poor dog is to rehome her. She clearly doesn’t get enough physical and mental stimulation, so you are both neglecting her basic needs.

You should rehome the dog to a family who will love it. I have no sympathy for you. You took a dog on knowing you would later start a family and now the poor animal is not wanted.

Oh god, I love dogs but I hate people who just twist the knife in these situations without thinking about the circumstances involved. Rehome him OP, with a breed such as this there will be lots waiting to give him a loving home and it’s better for all concerned.

[quote sandgrown]@cereallover. What a ridiculous and unhelpful answer. Could you afford a dog walker or doggy day care to give you both a break . Don’t worry too much about the carpet. Maybe extra dog toys/ games etc to stop her being bored . Your partner needs to take care of as many of the walks as he can manage .[/quote]
!! Bc getting a rent deposit and having to pay for new carpet is obviously not a problem for anyone