If money wasn’t an issue, would you rather work or be a stay at home parent?

[twerkinGherkin]

Just curious. I’m not sure if stay at home parent life is all it’s cracked up to be. My children aren’t in school yet but even when they are, I think I might prefer to work? But putting them in wrap around care is giving me guilt as it’s not necessary. Wondering if I’m crazy to consider working when I don’t need to

Work, but if money was no object I might do a project for myself like invent a product and take it to market.

@rattusrattus20 I do know some women who stop working with super rich husbands and you’re right that they slowly lose touch/become ridiculous - however the majority do have something going on.

It’s the ones that just stay free in order to be able to travel around on holidays with husbands that make me feel a bit like it’s a life slightly wasted (however glorious it looks!). But even for those women, they do actually have a job and their job is to be perfect for their husbands & the family they have married into. Perfect looking, perfectly reasonable, perfectly fun and perfectly friendly. It’s harder than it looks!

However, I think most industrious women who truly never need to work again eventually find different work - so get very involved in philanthropy or start a business of their own with all that capital they’re swimming in - not all work needs to be clocking in the hours for someone else.

Money isn’t much of an issue but I want to work. Having said that, I don’t like what I do but it pays well. I wish I had the courage to take a pay cut and do something I like, but I also like financial independence from DP so I carry on.

Work. If money was no object I'd probably have a different job. I'm very well paid but don't like it much. I definitely wouldn't be a sahm. I'm in my mid fifties now, DC1&2 working and uni, dc3 last year at school. I'd happily retire now if I could but will need to continue until DC3 finishes uni.

My only regret in life was becoming a SAHM (we certainly could afford it). It totally ruined our marriage, unbalanced our rights and responsibilities in the relationship and ultimately left me holding the baby working very long hours to keep a roof over DS’ head and mine even with the help of tax credits.

Meanwhile he went into developing a very successful career, achieved a massive salary, which allowed him to pay for creative accountancy and many solicitors hours to help him swan off with most of our assets after divorce, free of responsibilities, into the sunset.

Stupidly, I was the main earner who financially supported him while he built a career in all those years we were married before DS came along and I became a SAHM. If I had kept my career, I would have been able to support my son better and provide him with better opportunities when his dad decided that even the 15% of his salary, which is maximum amount of child maintenance a non resident parent is expected to pay for a child he never sees, was far too much to pay.

Work work work work work work work work work.

Every day of the week. I desperately need that mental stimulation and spending time with a toddler all day would drive me utterly insane.

I can't stress enough how strongly I feel a if how important it is for women not to give up their careers or take too long out of work. Even if you can. It puts you in an incredibly vulnerable/ exposed position financially if your Marriage should break down. I didn't think mine would and nor did some of my closest friends ..but they did and the ones that were on are the ones that kept their career going or didn't take years out. Those that did have really struggled. Not everyone will agree with me but I think it's one of the most important things to consider when having children. It doesn't need to be full time or ensnared your dream job. Just something that isn't a full time SAHM

*were ok
*or even

@GrandmasCat absolutely. I hadn't seen your post when I wrote mine but this is exactly the scenario I was taking about. I'm sorry it happened to you. Nobody gets married or has DC thinking for 1 second or will end, but statistically some will. My DM tried to get me to get a legal document drawn up saying I had put down the whole deposit for out first house (as 'you never know what's ahead lemons') .. I thought she was being really negative and pessimistic. What an awful thing to be even thinking about at this happy time.. it will never happen to us. Etc ... how wrong I was!

Depends how old the kids are I guess. Mine are 1 and 3 and I’m absolutely buzzing to get to work this morning!

Sahm.
Made this decision once and if relived my life again, would make it again.

I would change lots of other things but not this.

Before they started school, SAHP. Now they're at school - work for sure.

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit

I can't stress enough how strongly I feel a if how important it is for women not to give up their careers or take too long out of work. Even if you can. It puts you in an incredibly vulnerable/ exposed position financially if your Marriage should break down. I didn't think mine would and nor did some of my closest friends ..but they did and the ones that were on are the ones that kept their career going or didn't take years out. Those that did have really struggled. Not everyone will agree with me but I think it's one of the most important things to consider when having children. It doesn't need to be full time or ensnared your dream job. Just something that isn't a full time SAHM

Well it goes back to what other people have mentioned- what are the circumstances of money being no object? Under no circumstances would I want to be a SAHM of it meant relying solely on DH's income. But if we hit the lotto and coukd make some sound investments, most definitely. Or bring out an amazing Christmas single that never goes out of fashion and is played every year, everywhere and live off the royalties forever. One can dream.