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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If money wasn’t an issue, would you rather work or be a stay at home parent?

213 replies

twerkinGherkin · 18/01/2022 15:48

Just curious. I’m not sure if stay at home parent life is all it’s cracked up to be. My children aren’t in school yet but even when they are, I think I might prefer to work? But putting them in wrap around care is giving me guilt as it’s not necessary. Wondering if I’m crazy to consider working when I don’t need to

OP posts:
Yumperwumpee · 18/01/2022 16:45

Worked part time from when DC was one. Now he is 6 and home educated I'm a SAHP. I do a little bit of consultancy work to keep my foot in the door, but I would happily not work. Much prefer being at home, DC or no DC.

TheGratefulBread · 18/01/2022 16:49

I made the decision, as soon as I had enough experience in my field, to go freelance. I am based at home, with a little summer house as my office, and I work around school hours. At busier times of the year, I will also work a little more in the evenings, when children are either in bed, or in the case of the older ones, doing homework. I like this happy medium, because I could never give up my career all together.

Catch32 · 18/01/2022 16:52

SAHM but with genuinely unlimited resources i.e. money for a cleaner, regular lunches, beauty treatments etc. I've done it on a shoestring budget before and it wasn't fun.

OnlyInOne · 18/01/2022 16:53

If money was no object I'd rather be a SAHP. I love taking DS out and about all over the place but affording it is another thing 😊

Puffykins · 18/01/2022 16:54

Work. I love my job. But I made it part-time when the DC were small.

Walktwomoons · 18/01/2022 16:55

@Nosetickle
Do you have any tips on how you managed it?

Onlyrainbows · 18/01/2022 16:56

I'd always work!

Hemingwayzcatz · 18/01/2022 16:56

Work. I think I’d still work a bit even if I won the lottery tbh. Might not be paid work but I’d have to do something. I’ve been a SAHM for the past 3 years and it’s been the hardest years of my life, I’m really excited to go back to work in September Grin.

PanettoneMoly · 18/01/2022 16:57

Work, 100%. But in a different job.

Crepusculum · 18/01/2022 16:57

It depends on the definition of money not being an issue...

If I had enough money (independently, not relying on someone else's income) to never work again whilst maintaining the lifestyle I want (inc. helping children financially when adults and paying for help as needed) then probably - yes. Otherwise - no.

Whostoblame · 18/01/2022 16:58

Work but less hours. I work full time so use wraparound care and wish I didn't have to.

minipie · 18/01/2022 16:58

@APileofLogs

Happy medium- part time interesting work that I enjoy but finish by 4 every day so I can spend time with the kids.
This would be my ideal! What do you do?
thepeopleversuswork · 18/01/2022 16:59

Work definitely. I can't imagine not having a job.
I'd definitely want to work less than I currently do -- would go down to four days a week for starters. Or do some volunteering.
But I'd go nuts looking after kids, doing housework and watching TV.

londonrach · 18/01/2022 17:00

At home as alot easier than work. I suppose it depends on your job

flippertyop · 18/01/2022 17:01

I need to use my brain I couldn't be a SAHM but if money was no object I would work less hours

Focus126 · 18/01/2022 17:14

Depends on what "not being an issue" means.
If I had a few millions in the bank I wouldn't work, regardless of being a parent or not.

Cheeseplantboots · 18/01/2022 17:16

My children are young teens now. I’ve not worked in 16 years. Got no intention of going back to work either.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 18/01/2022 17:17

Work. I need external structure and validation. I could be persuaded to do fewer hours though.

Happyhappyday · 18/01/2022 17:19

Work full time in a career oriented job with a very flexible employer is working great for our family. DH and I stagger hours so DC are in childcare 9-5. I think I’d feel differently if we were looking at 7:30am-6pm like some friends. Also WFH and DC at home most of the day with a nanny so I do get to see them. Can also hear how much DC love being with our nanny.

Iamanicepersonreally · 18/01/2022 17:19

Can I choose secret option number 3, at home with no kids to look after

Comedycook · 18/01/2022 17:21

@Iamanicepersonreally

Can I choose secret option number 3, at home with no kids to look after
Bliss
elvis4nuts · 18/01/2022 17:24

Work!

stuntbubbles · 18/01/2022 17:25

If money wasn’t an issue I’d put DD in childcare and not work Grin

Work is easier. A part-time balance is the best thing for me.

SoftPillow · 18/01/2022 17:29

This is us. I work

Chely · 18/01/2022 17:30

I am a sahm to 6. I did work PT when we had just the 1 because I had to, wouldn't have gone back after the 1st if we could have afforded it. I became a sahm after maternity with the 2nd (now 11). When they are older and need less from me I will likely find a pt job or some volunteer work to keep me busy.