Found bf looking up ex.

[trisha30]

A bit of background..I have been with boyfriend for 5 months. Iam 21 he is 23. Before me he had been in a very intense 5 yr relationship..they went through uni together.went travelling together and lived together.
He met me last summer and he was still with the ex but going through a rough patch. We worked together at the time and got close..Iam not proud of myself but I fell hard for him..I had never had a relationship before and he is just wonderful in every way.

His ex found out about us and threw him out..we got closer and had a wonderful 3 weeks together during which he said it was definitley over with ex and he wanted to be with me.
Ex got back in touch to talk..he ended up dumping me and getting back with ex telling me he still loved her. This lasted 2 days and he came back to me..ex found out and it was a big mess..they rowed and blocked each other on everything.

That was months ago and we have been togther and happy since. We even went on holiday togther a couple of montha ago. He is my world but I cant get the nagging feeling out of my head that he might still pine after ex.

I found out although he doesnt know I know..that he made a secret instagram account and has been looking up his exes profile every week since the break up. Looking at her pictures and all her recent postings I presume.
Why? I dont understand,,is this normal? One time it said he logged in to secret account at 1am!
Shall I confront him?

This guy is no good for you. He’s probably stringing you along until he can persuade his ex to take him back. He’s cheated before and he’ll probably cheat again. Sorry, I know it’s not what you want to hear but honestly you’d be better off without him.

He's not over her. Leave him.

You'll never trust him because of how you got together.

I think it sounds like he's pining for her and she's probably having none of it now. He would get back with her in a heartbeat.

Don't let this man treat you this way. He's having his cake and eating it. It's very hard when you care for someone deeply but there will be someone out there who won't treat you this way. Don't spend another moment wasting your time because you will get hurt again.

At the very least he's thinking of her constantly. This is much more than a little curious nose at someone's social media. You need to move on, because he will when he gets the chance.

This is a dead end. Save yourself time and heartache by throwing this one back to her.

@ABCeasyasdohrayme

You'll never trust him because of how you got together.

This. He’ll be back with her in a heartbeat if she gives him half a chance. Get rid.

He's a dirty dog, get rid

He’s with you because he had no choice , she threw him out and he didn’t want to be alone and you were there.
He regrets it and misses her.
That’s what I think anyway.

How can you tell from the IG account that he’s looking her up every week? Or at 1am?

Not saying it’s normal behaviour. Secret IG would be enough to give me pause.

I don't think he wants her back.. He was the one who finished things and came back to me. She found out we were together again and initiated the total blocking but it was him who left her for me first.

He never thought she would block him and never speak to him again he wanted to stay friends with her. I think that's why the secret account she has blocked all other avenues.. Why can't he let it go and just be happy with me?

Doesn't really matter who left who, he's interested in someone else. Get out and find someone else

Does it mean he is interested in her though?

Why can't he let it go and just be happy with me?

Why can't you let it go and just be happy with someone who isn’t pining after someone else. It’s not that easy, is it? Five years is a long time.

If hes looking at someone's profile at 1 a.m. I would say that's interested.

@trisha30

I don't think he wants her back.. He was the one who finished things and came back to me. She found out we were together again and initiated the total blocking but it was him who left her for me first.

Stop doing the Pick-Me Dance with this man.

He was unfaithful to his ex, then to you, & he will continue to play you off against each other until one of you leaves him.
www.chumplady.com/2012/04/the-humiliating-dance-of-pick-me/

She found out we were together again and initiated the total blocking but it was him who left her for me first.
& FFS stop competing with another woman to "win" an unsatisfactory man.
Confine your dating pool to properly single men who know how to sustain themselves outside of a drama-filled relationship.

Lots of people look up their ex's on social media, but the fact that he's doing it in secret at 1am is a pretty huge red flag. It could mean he still likes her, he could just be nosy, but it doesn't matter.

The point is, you don't trust him and you'll never trust him because of the way your relationship started - so, you just need to decide whether you want to live this way for the rest of your life or not.

He more than likely is interested in her.
The wanting to be friends with her is bullshit as well. He wants her there as an option. So he clearly doesn't see what you two have the same way as you do, otherwise he would not be in the position he currently is! You deserve better than that.

If he loved her surely he wouldn't have left her for me?

He doesn't love either of you

"He is wonderful"

"He is my world"

Your bar is so low.

Confront him if you want. He'll go back to his ex eventually anyway (if she'll have him back). If not, he may hang with you for a bit.

You dont think he wants her back...? ok. Good luck.

You're both cheats so you shouldn't have expected things to be rosy exactly.

@trisha30

If he loved her surely he wouldn't have left her for me?

He didn’t. He wanted both of you and she wasn’t having it.

Stop doing the pick me dance, it's not doing you any favours. It's obvious he's not over her. He wants her back and they will probably get back together again. With their history it's almost inevitable.

Hold your head high and walk away from him. Don't torture yourself any more. He wants her and not you, and you can't compete.

Don't ever get into a relationship with someone who is already attached, no matter how tenuous the link seems to be.

He doesn't love either of you, he's messing you around and would be with her if she clicks her fingers.

Raise the bar, find someone better. This is your first relationship - they aren't meant to be like this!