Why do men do this

[Tevion28]

Following on from the Ashling Murthy murder and the likes of the Sarah Everard I've been thinking alot as to why men do this and I can only think that they must have a deep hatred for women and feel threatened by us for some reason. What do you all think I'm not convinced that these men all have mental health problems myself.

And it's no more outrageous to say women should take precautions than it is to say owners of expensive stuff should take precautions.

What precautions though? How much restriction? It's also nonsense as most crimes aren't committed by strangers whilst women are doing something you may call reckless

@dafey

That doesn't really tell us anything though.

It tells me the system doesn't work but you can disagree

It doesn't. Not by design, though, only by its natural limitations.

One thing I find hard to understand is when a couple commit a murder together, for fun. They're often in a very intense relationship with each other. They just don't seem to understand that if they are caught, they will never see each other again.

I heard that Myra Hindley was absolutely furious when she was told she wouldn't see Ian Brady face-to-face again. It was as though she couldn't believe it. I doubt he felt the same, though.

I'm thinking too of Kim Edwards and Lucas Markham - they killed Kim's mother and they were madly in love with each other. They knew they'd be caught - they sat in the house until the police arrived. Yet they must have known they wouldn't spend any time together after that. It just doesn't make any sense at all, to me, given they would have kicked off if their parents tried to stop them seeing each other.

Sadly, I don't think much can be done

As I thought.

I just don't believe in blaming the patriarchy or some other bogeyman, for what is simply the sad failings of human beings. As a culture we don't condone crime, and as a civilised country we enforce it. But all this can only go so far to protect the innocent.

Well the patriarchy certainly impacts how society views women in my view. I don't think sentences often send the message that we don't condone crime personally

do

@HollowTalk

One thing I find hard to understand is when a couple commit a murder together, for fun. They're often in a very intense relationship with each other. They just don't seem to understand that if they are caught, they will never see each other again.

I heard that Myra Hindley was absolutely furious when she was told she wouldn't see Ian Brady face-to-face again. It was as though she couldn't believe it. I doubt he felt the same, though.

I'm thinking too of Kim Edwards and Lucas Markham - they killed Kim's mother and they were madly in love with each other. They knew they'd be caught - they sat in the house until the police arrived. Yet they must have known they wouldn't spend any time together after that. It just doesn't make any sense at all, to me, given they would have kicked off if their parents tried to stop them seeing each other.

Distance lends enchantment. If their primary motivation is to maintain a crazy unhealthy intensity, to the point where they'll kill for it, they may feel - subconsciously, maybe - that being separated would do it. There's also the added thrill of it being forced, by the authorities who work against them, so they get an "us against the world" feeling from it. Star crossed lovers.

That's my guess.

The male of the species is driven by sex and aggression, so Freud said. If you think about it, it’s actually necessary for the survival of the species. It’s in the DNA at a deep, very fundamental level. It’s usually under control because we have been civilised over the centuries but in some men it takes over, due to not enough of an outlet for it or their life experiences or encouragement on the internet or their mental health or whatever.

It’ll never change, it’s fundamental to human nature, you may as well try and change the stars.

Absolutely agree with @Drinkingallthewine

They do it because they can.

@WiganDiva

The male of the species is driven by sex and aggression, so Freud said. If you think about it, it’s actually necessary for the survival of the species. It’s in the DNA at a deep, very fundamental level. It’s usually under control because we have been civilised over the centuries but in some men it takes over, due to not enough of an outlet for it or their life experiences or encouragement on the internet or their mental health or whatever.

It’ll never change, it’s fundamental to human nature, you may as well try and change the stars.

What's the evolutionary purpose of murdering a woman, especially one you've raped?

@WiganDiva

The male of the species is driven by sex and aggression, so Freud said. If you think about it, it’s actually necessary for the survival of the species. It’s in the DNA at a deep, very fundamental level. It’s usually under control because we have been civilised over the centuries but in some men it takes over, due to not enough of an outlet for it or their life experiences or encouragement on the internet or their mental health or whatever.

It’ll never change, it’s fundamental to human nature, you may as well try and change the stars.

Gosh, poor diddums men, whose life experiences haven’t given them sufficient outlets for their raping and murdering impulses.

Have you been reading the Incel’s Guide to Pseudo Evolutionary Biology?

And seconding @DrSbaitso’s question.

@WiganDiva

The male of the species is driven by sex and aggression, so Freud said. If you think about it, it’s actually necessary for the survival of the species. It’s in the DNA at a deep, very fundamental level. It’s usually under control because we have been civilised over the centuries but in some men it takes over, due to not enough of an outlet for it or their life experiences or encouragement on the internet or their mental health or whatever.

It’ll never change, it’s fundamental to human nature, you may as well try and change the stars.

Actually humans are one of the most co-operative species on the planet.

We feel love for our partners because raising human children takes an awful long time and a lot of work - that is why we pair-bond. We evolved to live in family and tribal groups where we would support and sustain each other, thereby ensuring each other's survival.

Men don't get a get-out of jail free card cos ' my genes made me' and its sexist rubbish to think men can't help themselves. No man rapes a woman against his own free will.

When I was thinking about men hurting women, I wondered for a time if it is human instinct, that if you are big, you feel like beating up and hurting people that are smaller than you.

But then I thought, im quite tall, there are a lot women smaller than me. When I see a smaller woman than me, I dont feel like hitting her or hurting her.

So it is something else with men. I think a lot of it is to do with wanting sex, and the power that women have over them in this regard.

Men want sex very very badly, women have a lot of power over men in this area. Men want women very badly, and if they cant have the women they want, some (too many) cant control their rejection and they lash out in anger at the woman.

It is their insecurity in themselves, that makes them abuse women.

You will often find that it is the men who are the most insecure in themselves that hurt and abuse women.

@DrSbaitso

For nigh on two years now, JK Rowling has been getting death and rape threats daily for saying that men can't turn into women and that women need female-only spaces to keep them safe from predatory men who might, you know, rape and kill them. The overwhelming response to this is that JKR is the bad guy. Someone told me the other day that she'd put herself in the wrong by making sarcastic comments on Twitter about it.

I think that says it all.

Wow thats awful. Sounds like theres an underbelly of violence, anger and jealousy about a successful woman. Wish these anonymous rogues could be outed! Despicable behaviour 😡

[quote thelegohooverer]@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea can I just say what an awesome job you did? It’s easy for anyone to tell you what you should have done but what you actually did under pressure was magnificent.[/quote]
Agree! You protected yourself admirably 👏👏👏

@Drinkingallthewine

During an online zoom vigil for Aisling, a man joined while masturbating. He repeatedly kept trying to join to show everybody him wanking.

So here's what I think. Any kind of thing like this - stick them on the sex offenders register. Get rid of this thinking that because a man hasn't physically hurt a woman yet that the Gardai can do nothing.

Arrest and charge the gropers and the flashers from the very first instance and even if you don't get a custodial sentence a fine and the sex offenders register curtailing their J1 or ability to work abroad or with vulnerable people or join sports teams might soften their cough.

Consequences for their sexual deviancy from the very start is the only way we begin to stamp out this behaviour. In the 80s drink driving in Ireland was badly policed, tolerated and even encouraged. Now it's morally and socially unacceptable thanks to tougher laws, tougher consequences, policing and public safety campaigns. Change is possible but it will only happen when each and every leery act that makes a woman feel uneasy or unsafe or just downright afraid is addressed by convictions.

Totally agree 👍

Some men hate women, some women hate men.

@AllKindsOfWrong

Some men hate women, some women hate men.

The difference is though, women who hate men avoid them but men who hate women seek them out to hurt them.

@AllKindsOfWrong

Some men hate women, some women hate men.

And what does that cause, in real life consequences, in each case?

there are things that need to happen in my view

Education - from the earliest opportunity, like is being done with the lgbt sex Ed, we need to instill in the culture that men and women are different but equal. The trans agenda does not help this at all.

Legal - misogyny needs to be made a hate crime ASAP.

An outlet for aggression - an acceptance that this is part of human nature and encouragement of men to express this in a healthy way. Liam neeson for example admitted his story about wanting to kill a black person - and he was disgusted with himself. The backlash made it way less likely anyone would admit these feelings and thus less likely it can be stopped. The individuals discussed in the op only had themselves to act as a barrier.

Extremely harsh punishments for those who offend, I'm talking whole life orders for the sort of offences described, and prosecution rates need to massively increase for sexual offences.

International relations - we need to stop trading with Saudi and other countries who treat women as they do - and make it clear why. It won't do much to change them but it will keep the conversation going.

Look again at the ability of people to carry defensive weapons - pepper spray for example - women aren't as strong as men and they have nothing at all to stop them being victimised.

No idea, I don't tend to dwell on it.

@AllKindsOfWrong

Some men hate women, some women hate men.

But the vast majority of killers are men.

@DrSbaitso

@eldora So? There's quite a lot of women kill men, but you don't hear any drums being beaten about that.

[quote AllKindsOfWrong]@eldora So? There's quite a lot of women kill men, but you don't hear any drums being beaten about that.[/quote]
93% of male killers vs 7% female.

Hardly compares, does it?