To wish I had been thinner when younger?

[Onceiwasfat]

So this is a really stupid thread but I’ll put it out there anyway. It’s not a TAAT but I just saw a post by someone my age (41) who used to cover Miss Sixty clothes.

I started gaining weight at about 16. I was probably around 11/11 and a half stone until I was 18. Then when I went away to university I slammed it on and was over 14 and a half stone. I was nearly 25 before I lost it and got down to 11 and a half.

I’ve only been below 10 and a half twice when I was ill.

It’s stupid really as in the scheme of things it’s not important. I have a lovely life, a job I like (sometimes) gorgeous kids but I do wish I’d been slimmer and more attractive when younger.

OK now flame me

I suppose any difference it may have made to your life is entirely theoretically though, isn’t it? If you’d been slim and hot you might have been able to attract an amazingly gorgeous billionaire and had an entirely different life; but you’ll never know, so it probably isn’t worth wasting time dwelling upon.

If you still aren’t happy with your weight, work in changing that now. Youth is very forgiving: it’s as you get older that paying attention to your health and fitness really pays off, you’ll never regret doing something now to improve it.

I think for me it’s a feeling where I always felt fat and unattractive. I always felt I couldn’t wear nice clothes like my friends and never felt boys would be interested in me.

Perfectly understandable. Though I reckon if you’d been slim, you’d still have felt held back by something else. ‘Tis the nature of youth, you never fully utilise it. I’ve always been slim, but definitely wish I’d had more confidence when I was young, been braver, spoken up for myself more. I do try to make up for it nowadays, though

I know what you mean OP, even if I somehow lose weight now I won't be attractive. I've been overweight since before I was born and never been a normal weight one day in my life.

That's an excuse though really, we could lose weight now.

I used to be 8 stone.. Now 12. Wish I had never been skinny. It's depressing knowing I am now over the hill and fat with it.

You’re not being unreasonable. I was slim when I was young, but I still wish I had other things that I didn’t have or do. I wish I’d never given up ballet. I wish I’d worked hard at school and not wasted my school years on being rebellious. I think we all have regrets and dreams that were unfulfilled.

I was very slim when young but it wasn't anything that registered in my mind as something I was happy about. I was too self conscious about every other aspect of myself and felt deeply unattractive anyway. Now I'm at the point I don't care, look back and wish I could shake my younger self for being so ridiculous!

At school I was a size 16 and all my friends were size 10 (this was the eighties so not vanity sizing). I was also very pretty but got called fat all the time.
I had zero self confidence and when I lost weight to a size 10/12 I was terrified of male attention and didn't say yes to anyone asking me out.
I didn't become a confident person until I was in my thirties. I think that what I am trying to say is that life and opportunities are not just about how you look.
I know lots of people who may not be considered conventionally attractive but ooze confidence.

I have had this recently actually. I've lost 6 stone and am now around 12.2 and 5.5.

I wish I was smaller but can't seem to lose the rest very easily ( 1.5 stone to 2 stone ).

I said to my grown up daughter ( I'm 50 at the end of the month ) that I wish I'd done this mid 30's so at least I could have enjoyed it more and I probably could have lost the remaining weight too.

She agreed that it was a shame but that this has probably prolonged my life a fair bit as I'm just overweight rather than being morbidly obese.

I look back in old pics of me when I was much larger and that's all I have to show for the last 25 years. I was last 'thinner' in my teens up till I had my eldest at 20, then I was fat till my late 40's.

I don't think you are being unreasonable but we are where we are and should make the best of things. Like you I have a lovely life but some health issues. Hey, it's definitely better than the alternative!

Yes better than the alternative!

There are next to no photographs of me between 18-25. I did have some graduation photos but they were horrible … don’t know where they are now. All the photos of me with DC as a new baby are horrible!

Just because you’re 41 doesn’t mean you can’t become thin and attractive, don’t give up on yourself.

YANBU. I was always on the larger size of slim throughout my teens, lost a load of weight around 21 and felt great, but then put on 2 stone through my 20s. I did not carry it well. I’m now late 30s and have lost the 2 stone and feel great, but equally feel so pissed off that I was a bit chunky in my 20s when I had no children, and so all the time in the world to dedicate to my health and fitness. Oh well!!

11 stone isn't big. I'm a size 10-12 when I'm that weight.

I’m a bit overweight now but not anything like as big as I have been at my biggest @DamnShesaSexyChick and having children has meant I’m much more conscious of what I eat (I married late and so my child is only a toddler) but it’s that careless confidence I suppose I want. I wish I’d been able to wear the fashions of my youth flirt with boys, have nights out.

@furbabymama87

11 stone isn't big. I'm a size 10-12 when I'm that weight.

11 stone is the smallest I’ve been as a rule. I did once get just under 10 stone and looked nice though I say so myself but it was short lived.

Im 5’2, so extra weight shows.

Honestly, if that is your biggest concern you should take it as a sign that your life is brilliant and be grateful. Focussing on trivialities like that is a sign you have a good and secure life.

Be glad.

It's true that certain things are easier when you're slimmer, and especially things that seem important when you're younger. But i voted yABU because you can't change it.

I don't wish I'd been slimmer when i was younger. I wish that when i was younger i hadn't been put off exercise, had learned to handle my emotions rather than binge eating, and had greater confidence in myself. I wish i hadn't shied away from photos because of my size. But i can't change the past. I can only decide now that i don't want to feel held back by the way i look.

I can’t see the words ‘biggest concern’ in my OP at all. Perhaps you think people only post about the most pressing issue or the worst thing that happens to them on here? But that wouldn’t be correct at all.

On the whole my life is fairly good, I have problems and I have difficulties of course. But it hasn’t always been this way and my past is something I feel a lot of sadness about. That isn’t just linked to weight. But a lot of it is. A general insecurity and feeling of not being good enough.

Of course I can’t change it but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wish I could!

Have you had occasions you felt you looked great? Those are similar.

I never had a 16th 18th birthday or attended my debs/prom due to financial reasons, I was a bit scruffy looking.

I finished school earlier no university experience.

There has been occasions in my 20's once working I felt great and looked good, I think you have to focus on the good times over the lost times.

Very fleeting!

Before I turned 16 I was pretty slim - 8 and a half stone. I had awful hair and clothes, though.

There was a period at around 28 when I got below 10 stone. Only brief.

Then when I was 31 I was around 10 and a half for a bit.

Like I say … brief!

11 stone isn't big. I'm a size 10-12 when I'm that weight

It puts the OP well into the overweight range

I got to my slimmest ever at age 51. 52 now and maintaining it and although I say it myself, I've got a great figure. Much nicer than when I was younger. I have better hair and clothes now too. I don't wish i'd been slimmer when younger particularly, as even if I had been, my figure would not have been very fashionable then, so I'd still have felt dissatisfied, and at least I don't have to look sadly back on old photos thinking how great I looked, because objectively I look tonnes better now. I do wish I had my younger face to go with the rest of me, but it could be worse, and overall, I'm very content with myself. Life isn't just lived when you're young, now matters too. I wear what I like (don't care about 'age appropriate') and anything I missed out on when younger, well, I'm not dead yet!

It’s fully understandable to regret the past but you have to draw a line under it.

You’ve got a lot of life left that you can make the most of.

Don’t waste a second more of your future on the past.

Being 'chubby" as a teen taught me not to rely on looks alone, so I worked on my personality.
A male friend who I fancied, told me how "funny" I was, shortly before shagging my pretty size 8 friend who didn't even like him!

In my 20s and 30s I got to goal with Weight Watchers and felt great, able to wear clothes I loved. My fiance cheated on me with a woman who was overweight.
Being slim did not help me then.

In my 30s I put on more weight after a twin pregnancy. I lost it again but the thinner I got, the worse my csection overhang looked. No stomach muscles, a thin body but massive ledge. This created a new issue.

Now, nearly 50 I'm at my largest, similar stats to you OP. It's a yo yo.
Not lost weight for 8 years now since I started a stressful job.

I feel your pain!

On the plus size, being so overweight, my face is plump and wrinkle free(ish)!