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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6yo Birthday presents, who is being unreasonable?

219 replies

hollyisKey · 17/01/2022 06:51

Ds will be 6 next month and me and dp decided to get him a nice bike. The bike cost £190 and that is more than we would usually spend on birthdays.

Dp thinks that the bike will be all ds needs for his birthday. Since we have just had Christmas he doesn't need any toys, shoes or clothes.

I however, think that ds should have a couple of little presents to open too. Nothing really expensive but just so he gets to unwrap something.

We are no means rich but could afford an extra £30 - £40 for some extra presents. Dp is mostly concerned about the lack of space in our house. He saw getting the bike as one big gift and no smaller items to clutter the house with.

Aibu or is dp?
Thanks

OP posts:
Wiredforsound · 17/01/2022 06:53

£30-£40? If he doesn’t need extra presents then surely this is just wasting money. Will he not also have presents from family and friends?

bookgirl1982 · 17/01/2022 06:54

You're correct of course. The opening of presents is a massive thing at 6. If you're worried about 'stuff' then buy books, clothes and art/craft consumables.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 17/01/2022 06:56

YANBU

fourandnomore · 17/01/2022 06:58

Why not buy a few little fun things from Poundland if it is just to open something. Or buy things that will be done then gone ie craft stuff or sticker books or baking things or something? I know what you mean though. As pp says if there are things from family and friends too it’s unnecessary but I wouldn’t be able to not get a few extra bits too.

Nosnogginginthekitchen · 17/01/2022 06:58

A book and a box of maltesers will be fine.

Camomila · 17/01/2022 06:58

One big present is fine - my DC have always had one present from us plus presents from friends/family (apart from 2020 when DS1 couldn't have a party).

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/01/2022 07:00

Will he get presents from other people?

We tend to just get ours a main present, a book, a craft item and something small from sibling. But added to grandparents, aunts, uncles etc there is loads to open.

shouldistop · 17/01/2022 07:01

I'd get some things that can be used up like sticker books, coloured paper, paints etc.

shouldistop · 17/01/2022 07:02

Little bit of advice about the bike. Make sure it's light enough for your 6yo to lift. Otherwise he won't be able to ride it comfortably.

ginsparkles · 17/01/2022 07:03

I would be the extra little things to open too. I'd get things that will be used like craft stuff, books, extra clothes or some sweets. The unwrapping is the best bit. Even now I would prefer a few smallish things to unwrap over one big thing.

Original poster
hollyisKey · 17/01/2022 07:04

Ds is likely to get one other present from family but that will be after his birthday. We are not having a party and don't expect any friends to give presents.

I'm worried he will be disappointed to just see one present. I'm sure he will love the bike though.

OP posts:
ANameChangeAgain · 17/01/2022 07:04

Neither of you are wrong, but I would wrap up some sweets for an extra treat and a t-shirt or hoodie or something in his next size that he'll need for the spring anyway.

notyouagainn · 17/01/2022 07:05

You are right for children it's not about cost. (It's your choice to spend £190 on a bike. I would get 5/6 little pressies too. Will he get gifts from othe relatives too?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 17/01/2022 07:06

Just wrap up some accessories for the bike, new helmet, bell etc

TulipsTwoLips · 17/01/2022 07:07

One present is fine

MrsDrSpencerReid · 17/01/2022 07:09

I’d definitely get a few little things to unwrap, that’s the fun part, especially at 6!

Picture books, colouring books etc. I always get my DS a couple of lego blind bags or hot wheels cars as little extras to unwrap.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 17/01/2022 07:09

Oh I like the bike accessories idea!

Lazypuppy · 17/01/2022 07:11

I think YABU, at 6 it is important to start helping kids appreciate the present not the number of presents. Otherwise you are setting him up for disapointment when he expects thats number/size of gifts every year.

My dd is about to turn 4, we are getting her 1 present to open as she also wants to go ice skating,which will cost us £30 at least

KiloWhat · 17/01/2022 07:12

I'd get extra bits like a helmet. Or if there's any clothes you'd be buying anyway.

Pancakeorcrepe · 17/01/2022 07:12

One present is fine! It’s a bike, he will love it. You can put a big bow on it or something.
He is six, not three. I honestly despair at the consumerism - people suggesting to go snd buy a load of Poundland crap just so he has something to open. A book? We don’t know if the kid likes reading. Craft supplies? We don’t know if the kid liked crafting. He is getting a beautiful new bike, what could be more exciting than that!

Original poster
hollyisKey · 17/01/2022 07:13

I agree that it's not about the cost for children. Last year we spent about £100 all in, and ds said it was the best birthday ever.

We could have got a much cheaper bike (under £100) but we were hoping this one would be more suitable and last longer. Dp wouldn't have wanted more 'stuff' even if we got the cheaper option.

OP posts:
Tardigrade001 · 17/01/2022 07:15

One big present is fine. Why would you wabt to teach him to expect lots and lots of stuff he doesn't even need?
We're all conditioned to believe that excesive consumerism is a good thing. It's not.

DSGR · 17/01/2022 07:16

Yanbu, you’re buying an expensive bike of your choosing. Of course he would like a few more presents to open

Mumofsend · 17/01/2022 07:17

I would get a couple of craft bits if he likes crafts as once it's done it's gone

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/01/2022 07:18

Compared to some bikes, £190 is cheap!

And a six year can't tell the difference between a £50 bike and a £500 bike.