6yo Birthday presents, who is being unreasonable?

[hollyisKey]

Ds will be 6 next month and me and dp decided to get him a nice bike. The bike cost £190 and that is more than we would usually spend on birthdays.

Dp thinks that the bike will be all ds needs for his birthday. Since we have just had Christmas he doesn't need any toys, shoes or clothes.

I however, think that ds should have a couple of little presents to open too. Nothing really expensive but just so he gets to unwrap something.

We are no means rich but could afford an extra £30 - £40 for some extra presents. Dp is mostly concerned about the lack of space in our house. He saw getting the bike as one big gift and no smaller items to clutter the house with.

Aibu or is dp?
Thanks

Neither of you are being unreasonable - you just have different ideas.

How about the ‘other’ presents being things that he needs? A nice new pair of wellies, new pjs…things you’ll need to buy anyway?

He is six! At that age they love opening presents. Get him some sweets, a book. Does he need a bike helmet? Bike lock?

Having exactly the same conversation here !
I will of course just gets done extra bits ! I tend to give consumables at times like this or things I’d have bought anyway ! I also regift and shop in charity shops to make myself feel better and massively reduce the spend .
Mine do only tend to get gifts from us though especially at the moment as relatives send ££

I think your new thoughts on what you will do are lovely

Fwiw we bought the huge Halfords bike wrap bag for DS when he was 9 and added a huge bow - bike was out on driveway - primed neighbour rang the bell and he came out to answer door and his face when he saw the very large gift - caught it on phone and his expression is a real wow moment

One tradition we have always done is he gets whatever he wants for breakfast -this year at 14 he choose bacon bagel plus M&S yum nut doughnut thing

YANBU Presents are a huge thing for a 6 year old, what does he play with can you look on Marketplace and pick up some good condition second hand toys, the beauty of being 6 is that they haven’t quite twigged 2nd hand yet

Did your DS request a bike ? Can they actually ride one ?

It can be a massive anticlimax - tricky skill, uk winter , tricky to manage in the park with speedy friends , esp if they inevitable falls and scrapes and injuries happen

I think a bike / school bag / clothes / swim lessons / piano lessons are not really gifts - but life skills we are lucky enough to give our kids ( sometimes )

They can be fun but they can be hard work too- and that’s not always what we want out of a present

It’s nice to give them something they love on the day that can just be enjoyed, without pressure - and obviously show them your love

A small board game or jigsaw puzzle
I always give a book to treasure that night

Though it is educational - they can be good

Or a photo album with highlights of the last year ?
Perfect for a January boy

I think there is a lot of pressure with a bike - if I spent nearly £200 !!! Parents spending a fortune !! But the child may like a £5 monopoly game better and love playing it on rainy days after school
With no pressure about becoming chris hoy

I love the idea of making a big Thing of it in the morning - with ribbon and bow

Definitely need to buy the safety equipment too ! Lights , helmet , reflective things

But after school, have a few more little treats to open. Things that you would enjoy as a family - not tat. Books and popcorn, a dvd , a game, special colouring pens

Available at charity shops and Poundland

Doesn’t have to be a lot or take away from the morning bike excitement

Doesn’t have to be clutter either

I think there’s a modern allergy to stuff - but we need some !

Sorry if this has already been said , but what about a bike helmet in a matching colour? Bike bell? Waterbottle and holder?

Get books, crafts and chocolate. Then they won't hang around or are useful.

We always do lots of things to open, it makes it so much fun! But yes - cheap consumables and crafty things etc, no need to spend lots. Now my DCs are teenagers they get socks, pants, deodorant etc and lots of chocolate. Sometimes heavily disguised so they can't guess until they open it....

DS has a birthday in April. He told me yesterday that his school backpack was falling apart. I said I'd look out for a new one and he said he could have it for his birthday..... Bless his cottons......

But yes - get loads of things to unwrap, that's the fun bit!

@ManicPixie

A bike for a 6 month old seems an odd choice to me but I guess he’s unusually mobile? I feel like it wasn’t until a lot later mine could have used that.

I would say that “you’ve just had Christmas” is an unfair excuse given he’ll have ‘just had Christmas’ for the rest of his life…

I agree with @ManicPixie Saying he's 'just had Christmas' is pretty rubbish. So he got loads of stuff for Xmas. So did we all. His birthday is HIS day. He shouldn't be penalised or made to feel grateful for his birthday gifts 'as well as' what he got for Christmas. I'm all for getting him more so he has the excitement of the unwrapping. It doesn't have to be expensive. I've picked a lot of gifts up from either charity shops or Facebook groups. Throw in some sweets and a magazine he's interested in. Plus this is better for the environment. Win-win.

At six, several small presents mean more than one big one. Sorry, but that is just true. They really have no clue as to value at that point.

£190 for a bike for a 6 year old sounds expensive, I would look for something cheaper, and spend the rest on little presents.

YANBU. And I'd feel the same. It's nice to have a few smaller things to open.

My son's birthday is in spring. I would always give him some clothes for his birthday too, as I knew he would need some new ones for the summer anyway at some stage, so if I gave them to him on his birthday it gave him more things to open!

A few little things to open is fine, a book, a puzzle, some sweets, puzzle book, something in the crafts line that you can do together, grow your own strawberry plant and teach him about growing food, there are lots of inexpensive things you can choose from.

My kids always get books along with a main present, that's just because they like books and it's something to open. I started it from when they were tiny. Alot of people go crazy overboard with birthday presents and I've never really got it (tbh I should get a present for giving birth and for the fact they are still breathing after drawing with lipstick on their sister's wall 🤣). Each to their own though a tenner easily covers a book and a sweet or something extra to open

To me opening presents is always a great pleasure.

It depends. If yours are the only presents he is likely to get, then a few extras would be good. If he is likely to get smaller presents from other people, then I don’t think you need to buy anything else.

I would perhaps accessorise the bike as additional presents eg: needs a bike helmet, perhaps a bell, reflectors to go on the wheels, perhaps a basket or bag to put things in? I know only 6 but these won't take up additional space, other things to open and makes more of the present? Also never too early to teach bike safety.