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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6yo Birthday presents, who is being unreasonable?

219 replies

hollyisKey · 17/01/2022 06:51

Ds will be 6 next month and me and dp decided to get him a nice bike. The bike cost £190 and that is more than we would usually spend on birthdays.

Dp thinks that the bike will be all ds needs for his birthday. Since we have just had Christmas he doesn't need any toys, shoes or clothes.

I however, think that ds should have a couple of little presents to open too. Nothing really expensive but just so he gets to unwrap something.

We are no means rich but could afford an extra £30 - £40 for some extra presents. Dp is mostly concerned about the lack of space in our house. He saw getting the bike as one big gift and no smaller items to clutter the house with.

Aibu or is dp?
Thanks

OP posts:
whoopstheregoesmyshouldet · 17/01/2022 07:18

At 6 parcels are good- even if useful things like others have said. His favourite treats/ pop tarts (mine love these but they appear once a year only ), socks, books , bike gloves

Original poster
hollyisKey · 17/01/2022 07:19

He never has lots and lots of unnecessary stuff. We live in a small house so that's why we try to keep things minimal.

The bike accessories wrapped separately is a great idea. Thank you @GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

OP posts:
LemonDrizzles · 17/01/2022 07:20

Have you considered getting the bike used? We went down to Halfords, our 6 year old tried a fee bikes, we settled on one that was £150 or £250 (can't remember now) then saw about 5 local people selling the same bike on Facebook and ebay. We missed ebay (they were a black away) but managed Facebook. Freed up funds for other gifts. And yes at Christmas, 6 year old got an elaborate Lego but oh no he felt he got less than his 2 year old sister because she opened more presents despite his elaborate Lego present costing more than his...

erinaceus · 17/01/2022 07:20

Does he need a bike helmet? Will you use a bike lock?

If your DH is concerned about taking up space, and your DS is not having a party, could you get him an experience? Movie tickets, day out somewhere, favourite restaurant?

Robostripes · 17/01/2022 07:20

I’m with you OP, he’s 6! I’m 35 and even my mum always gets me a couple of little bits to unwrap for my birthday. I’d get him some sweets/chocolate, a book, some top trumps or similar and bath bombs or something like that. Stocking filler type gifts.

SquigglePigs · 17/01/2022 07:20

I think given you've said that there won't really be presents from anyone else then I would get him a few little things to open. A helmet for his bike would be good, then perhaps a book, a t-shirt or PJ's with his favourite character on and some chocolate. Doesn't have to be a lot but he's still little and presents are exciting.

If you had lots of family buying him lots of things my answer would have been different!

LaTomatina · 17/01/2022 07:21

One big present is fine. Why would you wabt to teach him to expect lots and lots of stuff he doesn't even need?
We're all conditioned to believe that excesive consumerism is a good thing. It's not.

This. Too many parents over-buy their children out of fear that their children will be disappointed, and then act surprised when they raise entitled, self-centred teenagers who don't value anything. Honestly, less is more!! If a 6 year old is disappointed because he "only" got a new bike for his birthday, there is a big problem!!!

stayathomer · 17/01/2022 07:22

I'm actually so surprised by most of the replies here, I think something like a bike you either decide to buy on a non birthday day or that's the present. An extra 30 to 40 is huge and you're setting a standard that from now on there's a number of presents including a huge one. One huge present on it's own or a group of small presents I would have thought would be reasonable

Jackfrost22 · 17/01/2022 07:23

I agree with you op, at 6 they love the excitement of opening little presents.
I'd go to asda where they sell the little bits for a few pounds and sweeties, art and crafts stuff etc

LovelyMoans · 17/01/2022 07:23

Yanbu.

Although its surprising he isnt getting anything from any grandparents, aunts or uncles, friends etc.

We only ever buy DS one present there's always a (smaller) present from each set of grandparents, and 3 from aunts and uncles. Then this year he had a party tea with 5 friends who all brought a small gift.

Jackfrost22 · 17/01/2022 07:25

Also £190 food a bike seems a bit too much for a 6 year old. He will want a different style or bigger in a year or 2 no doubt!!

shouldistop · 17/01/2022 07:26

£190 is not expensive for a child's bike. Cheap bikes are too heavy for small children to use for long.

NewPapaGuinea · 17/01/2022 07:27

I remember my parents hiding my new BMX in the house and I had to go on a clue hunt to find it. I was probably slightly older (about 8), but it is still one of mose memorable presents because of the hunt.

3scape · 17/01/2022 07:30

I was about to say accessories (especially helmet) but I see someone has.

Starlightstarbright1 · 17/01/2022 07:34

My DS had large expensive present last year...So i filled some large ballons and put some coins in.. He had great fun popping them and didn't cost a lot but meant the room was filled with ballons.

Svara · 17/01/2022 07:38

Unless it's a bmx it's likely to only last a few years surely? Could you get the same or similar model second hand?

LettertoHermoine · 17/01/2022 07:44

YANBU

sHREDDIES19 · 17/01/2022 07:48

I’m sure as his mum you can get him a few bits to open on the day you know he’ll like. Otherwise (assuming the bike is not wrapped) he’ll have nothing to open on his sixth birthday?! I’m not one for consumerism or waste myself but that does sound quite sad.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 17/01/2022 07:51

Wrap up bike...treasure map to find bike......love the balloons idea

ManicPixie · 17/01/2022 07:52

A bike for a 6 month old seems an odd choice to me but I guess he’s unusually mobile? I feel like it wasn’t until a lot later mine could have used that.

I would say that “you’ve just had Christmas” is an unfair excuse given he’ll have ‘just had Christmas’ for the rest of his life…

ManicPixie · 17/01/2022 07:53

Sorry, just realised you meant 6 YEAR old!

CovidForChristmas · 17/01/2022 07:53

Another one here who ‘only’ gives their child one birthday present.
They get to chose what they want. It’s normally something like a Barbie or similar. They get gifts from other family members as well as cake etc. They haven’t complained (yet) and they are older then your child.

I agree with your partner.

DaisyDozyDee · 17/01/2022 07:54

At this time of year in the UK, I’d definitely make sure there’s something indoorsy to do as well as the bike. They spend most of the daylight hours at school, so it would only take a few of rainy weekends for it to feel like ages before they can use the bike properly.
Wouldn’t need to be expensive, but a craft set or a sticker book they would enjoy would at least give them something to use straight away.

LookItsMeAgain · 17/01/2022 07:55

Couldn't you wrap a new helmet for when he's riding his bike and if the lights can be removed from the bike when it's locked up, you could wrap them separately too.
Don't buy him unnecessary items though. Keep them to things that he will need and use.

Superhanz · 17/01/2022 07:55

I'm 100% with you OP. My 6 year old nephew would rather have lots and lots of (albeit crap tbf) presents to open rather than one large one. It would be nice to have some smaller ones to open too. Even wee cheap things.

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