6yo Birthday presents, who is being unreasonable?

[hollyisKey]

Ds will be 6 next month and me and dp decided to get him a nice bike. The bike cost £190 and that is more than we would usually spend on birthdays.

Dp thinks that the bike will be all ds needs for his birthday. Since we have just had Christmas he doesn't need any toys, shoes or clothes.

I however, think that ds should have a couple of little presents to open too. Nothing really expensive but just so he gets to unwrap something.

We are no means rich but could afford an extra £30 - £40 for some extra presents. Dp is mostly concerned about the lack of space in our house. He saw getting the bike as one big gift and no smaller items to clutter the house with.

Aibu or is dp?
Thanks

If you hide it and do clues it will add to the suspense and he won’t realise it’s just one thing to unwrap. You could do as someone suggested and wrap helmet etc too and him find them on the way?

A bikes a great gift but as you have no control of the weather on his birthday a few smaller, distraction gifts might be an idea. Unless his dad wants to spend hours outside helping him learn to ride it whatever the weather.

My DS birthday is next week and we’ve bought him a main present and then other bits to open. If you can afford it then do it.

My brother got a much-wanted football net one year, and my parents did a sort of treasure trail leading to it with rhyming clues, some wrapped up chocolate footballs on the way etc and finally the ball wrapped up by the back door. He loved it and we all remember that birthday despite it being decades ago! So yes, great suggestions of wrapping the bike accessories. I wouldn’t worry about any extra bits but that of course is up to you!

I agree he should have a present to open - please buy him a helmet.

We had a young boy come off his bike as he was clipped by a car turning. He died. It was devastating for everyone especially his family. Also the child he was with, bystanders, ambulance crew and his school and community.

Pair of cycling gloves too. Box of malteasers.

he needs a helmet and a bike bell :-) thne a bit of chocolate (we always got malteasers in a box)

I always get a couple of extras, bike accessories, sweets, a t shirt. Not 30-40 but 10-20

We did a 7th birthday bike recently - we also individually wrapped a helmet, handlebar tassels, a bell and a spare inner tube!

I would get some other presents for him to open. You can get great character playsets and figures on eBay for example which he won’t know aren’t new. I do think unwrapping parcels is a big part of the fun.

I agree if no other gifts on the day some sticker books or small items to go with it.

Check out ALDI and Lidl for their toys offers. I picked up hero’s of goo git zu action figures for £6.99 and Lego sets and cards games like UNO for £4.99. Lots of bargains in B&M also in January. Buy him some little extras to open

Why does what your partner wants seem to be the be all and end all.

I seem to be the only one getting a weird vibe.

The partner isn't saying, "what would most make my 6 year old happy on their birthday"...

Nor...

"What would make my child's Mum happy to give our child"

but...

"What could I tolerate allowing the child to have that won't take up too much of my space".

I feel odd.

Don't know why.

Am I way off.

This thread is batshit. Especially the last message.

I’d wrap the bike! I’m not sure why you wouldn’t. Cardboard boxes flattened out. And then paper. Actually some bikes arrive in them ask the shop.

I agree
That’s sad
Your actions are lovely though

@TulipsTwoLips

One present is fine

No way !!!! Not at 6 , deffo get others to unwrap, they are only little once .

A book? We don’t know if the kid likes reading.

What a sad comment. How depressing to think there are people who think it is reasonable that a child wouldn't like a book of some kind. There are so many amazing children's books out there, and so lovely to read a book with your child - not to mention the educational benefits of establishing a reading habit early on.

YABU.

One present is enough.

Especially a big thing like a bike.

Why no party or friends over for tea?
As you only have one other gift coming from family then I would get some small bits , a bike is a essential childhood item. Bit like a laptop for a teenager so its not the same as if you bought £190 worth of Lego and wondering if you should buy more

There was a psychology research paper on this I read around Christmas time. Will see if I can find it - but apparently buying small gifts devalues the big gift (makes it seem less good) so if you buy a big gift don’t give small gifts as well. Gifts that are thoughtful irrespective of cost are also much more valued. A bike sounds a lovely gift and if it’s what he’s wanting he will be so happy to have a bike he will be less bothered about others gifts - maybe save the money and give him a surprise gift mid year for achieving/being helpful or other reason.

A birthday is more special

It is the day we celebrate the child - the person

Not Jesus
Not social norms
Not traditions

It is just about how special that person is

Admittedly it doesn’t have to be huge or expensive
But it has to be more significant than Christmas… where everyone gets a treat - just because it’s Christmas, and no other reason

I would have to get him some presents to open but they could be connected to the bike. Helmet, lights, reflector spokes, bell etc. with the exception of the helmet, they are not expensive things but they give him something to open.

Your partner is right, no need to buy extra presents for the sake of it an clutter up the house, we all need to buy less, your little one won’t be disappointed, why not just some chocolates?

@hollyisKey

Thanks everyone. There have been some great suggestions.

We've settled on the idea to wrap ds helmet and bell separately and a few small gifts. Dp preferred the idea of consumable gifts so planning on getting him a science kit and some craft bits. Also a simple baking activity to do when he comes home from school. Possibly some pizzas to make. That way if the weather is poor we can have activities for inside. Also some popcorn for a movie of his choice that evening.

I also really like the idea of the long ribbon leading to the bike.

Thanks again everyone.

That sounds like a great plan OP. Hope he has a lovely birthday.