DH set up play date with random man in park

[BFPDec21]

He obviously had a kid with him but he's took his number for the playdate. DH has never seen him and our DC does not know the child other than playing in the park today.

I can't work out if I'm being overprotective.

YABU - This is fine
YANBU - This is weird

[RedskyThisNight]

@RedCandyApple

Then imagine you see them after blocking,
That wouldn’t be awkward at all 🙄

Well, no it wouldn't because you'd fall back on the very English "oh it's ages since we've seen you; we never did organise that get together abd then not actually do anything about it. The same way that many people handle relationships with actual people they do know properly.

Or you could just say "actually the play dates are awkward because I'm not sure my child and yours really get on" and suggest you meet the other adult without children (if you want to). The same way as you'd handle an actual friendship where the children had fallen out.

[RedCandyApple]

As if blocking someone then seeing them again in the park wouldn’t be awkward so how would you explain why you blocked them?

[Fatherliamdeliverance]

We're talking a bit of social awkwardness, not smallpox.

You deal with it politely and use blocking as a last resort in the first place anyway, what's so hard about saying 'no thanks'?

Why is this such an unbearable risk when the other outcome is maybe making a friend or acquaintance, even just someone to say 'hi' to in the park?

[RedCandyApple]

Nope; responses said “just block them” like it’s the go to solution, how embarrassing to block someone then see them at the park the next day

[Monday55]

Your reaction is odd considering every friend you have was once a stranger to you.

[Goldbar]

Most people can take a hint. If people are getting a bit full on, I just say we're going through a busy time (usually true!) and we'll hopefully bump into them. But I find most people I come across are quite busy too, so they're very happy to meet casually every now and again.

Tbh, I think the same issues arise with school friendships (and to a lesser extent nursery friendships) and those are much harder to deal with. The random relationships tend to be the most joyful as they only develop if you 'click' with someone to begin with and carry less obligations.

[blubberball]

Two parents arranging to meet up at the park with their kids.

[LuckyMeISeeGhosts]

@RedCandyApple

Nope; responses said “just block them” like it’s the go to solution, how embarrassing to block someone then see them at the park the next day

I meant blocking as a last resort if they kept messaging to try and arrange something.

Calm yourself.

[Shona52]

How is this any different to going to mum n toddler groups when at first you don't know anyone. As a father is will be very hard for them to arrange any play dates so can understand why he has done it.

[lazylockdowner]

I presume they both had a chat got on and maybe thought that they could hang out together with the kids, I don't see a issue snd maybe they will become good friends, not really any different than some of the good friends I've made through my kids

[pollymere]

Don't fret. I have a friend who is pretty much my go-to bestie now and we met like this. You're right to feel cautious but this is how new friends are made. We've also had playdates with people who we've never really met again and ones which set alarm-bells ringing. It's difficult to let go, but remember that being overprotective can also become a form of abuse so you just need to take a deep breath and try to let these things happen. Once you get into birthday parties of random children, school trips and camps it gets tougher. Good luck x

[liveforsummer]

When I first moved here that's literally how I got to know people before dc started school. Between the park and soft play we managed to get ourselves a good few play dates. This is a city too not a community minded suburb or village. I assume you don't mean a play date where he was planning to drop your dc off and leave. That would be a bit odd

[Mumof3confused]

Count yourself lucky that you have a husband who has taken on this role. He might have bonded with this other dad seeing as the hands-on types are still few and far between. Not any different to the way us women look for support in other mums. Some of my best friends now are mums I’ve had random chance meetings with.

[Mumontour85]

Most men don't do the baby group thing, and are generally not as social as mums!

I would absolutely love it if my OH had the initiative to make a friend at the park, he desperately needs dad friends!!

[Kite22]

Goodness me some people are over thinking this.

Two dc were playing in the park and the parents chatted and seemed to get on, so swapped numbers so they could both arrange to be at the park at the same time on another day.
I can't see how this is in any way a 'risk' to anyone

[CaMePlaitPas]

Are they going to go down the pub and leave the kids to it?

[Bleachmycloths]

I agree with many posters: what if it were 2 mums?

[MaybeSomeDay7]

I think you're spot on and right to be suspicious. Predators do target people and because victims can't talk through shame and fear, the majority of people live in blissful ignorance of how it happens. But the instant play date sounds really suspicious. Additionally it sounds like your partner doesn't fully understand your concerns which is even more sad and which makes him vulnerable to being targeted. Trust your instincts. The potential play date dad might be a perfectly fine person, but you're the one with much more experience of this than the majority of those responding here so far. Good luck and stay strong.

[Kpow1983]

I made a new mum friend whilst waiting in A&E with my sister. She was there with her son of similar age to my son (not present). We got chatting and then, because friends on FB, exchanged messages and arranged to meet the following week in a park 🙂

[whittingtonmum]

I made a brilliant friend in the park with my toddler son one day. We had lots of great play dates over the years. 10 years later we're still good friends even though the kids have moved on.

[Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme]

I’d be over the moon if my husband did this. I’ve met up with mums I’ve met in the park. Why not dads?

[SleepingStandingUp]

@MaybeSomeDay7

I think you're spot on and right to be suspicious. Predators do target people and because victims can't talk through shame and fear, the majority of people live in blissful ignorance of how it happens. But the instant play date sounds really suspicious. Additionally it sounds like your partner doesn't fully understand your concerns which is even more sad and which makes him vulnerable to being targeted. Trust your instincts. The potential play date dad might be a perfectly fine person, but you're the one with much more experience of this than the majority of those responding here so far. Good luck and stay strong.

Well ops partner also instigated this play date so presumably he's also suspicious and could be targeting this young lad. She hasn't met this guy, she knows nothing except her DH is going to see him again. That isn't instinct unless she thinks her DH is a risk.

[TinselTinsel]

This is how a lot of mums make friends so how is dads any different?

[maybloss2]

Yes I wonder too, why this is thought odd?

[RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime]

My DD (7) is always making new friends in the park and begging me to arrange to meet them there another day. I don't usually do it formally by taking a number, we just loosely agree to see them there e.g. after school on Monday, but it's not weird.
Dropping your child off at their house after one meeting would be weird, yes, but not a park arrangement.