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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH set up play date with random man in park

206 replies

BFPDec21 · 16/01/2022 18:48

He obviously had a kid with him but he's took his number for the playdate. DH has never seen him and our DC does not know the child other than playing in the park today.

I can't work out if I'm being overprotective.

YABU - This is fine
YANBU - This is weird

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/01/2022 19:39

Today I gave my number to the mother of a boy in DD swimming class- chatted maybe 4 times- I don’t “know” her- what’s the difference ?

IncompleteSenten · 16/01/2022 19:40

Isn't that what you do when you have small children? They meet a child they enjoy playing with and the parents arrange a time for the children to play together again.

furbabymama87 · 16/01/2022 19:43

A bit odd but probably fine. I'm not a fan of going to meet randoms. I met someone that seemed OK on a "mum app" and she was so odd in person, it's put me off.

Crunchymum · 16/01/2022 19:43

If your DH is planning to leave your DC with this stranger - yes very concerning

If your DH and random are going on a playdate without any kids - even more concerning

Anything else - unclench woman Grin

MichelleScarn · 16/01/2022 19:44

Isn't this what mums are encouraged to do all the time? (I know am repeating multiple posters!)
Met my now very best friend via swapping numbers after our dc got on well at a group.

LuckyMeISeeGhosts · 16/01/2022 19:45

Can't see an issue with that at all - maybe he wants to make some more friends.

Anyway, how on earth would you ever get to know anyone if you didn't get their number and give them a chance? Everyone would be a stranger otherwise.

shouldistop · 16/01/2022 19:46

You've left out the vital information of whether your dh plans to leave your child with the unknown adult or not.

Suzi888 · 16/01/2022 19:46

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

As long as he isn't planning on leaving DC alone with the other parent I don't see a problem. This is kind of how making new friends works.
^ I’ve done it. Present throughout and still friends now. Go out with the mum coffee minus children too.
WonderfulYou · 16/01/2022 19:46

This is so lovely!!

It is so hard making friends when you’re a parent and they obviously got chatting and got on well.
I do think it’s harder for dads too.

Good on your DH. Let’s all be a bit more like this!

Goldbar · 16/01/2022 19:48

Likewise, I wish my DH had the gumption to do this. Instead, he just stares grumpily at the other children and parents and checks his phone until it's time to go home.

Now that our DC is a little older (4), I find it quite hilarious/embarrassing that they've got better manners than their father. If they find a new friend to play with, they will introduce themselves and ask what their friend's name is. Something my DH seems incapable of doing.

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/01/2022 19:49

@Christoncrutches

define 'playdate' - presumably adults present?
Yep. If so then fine.
carrieeee · 16/01/2022 19:51

That's how my husband met his now good friend... it's just the same as mums arranging a play date.

HunkyPunk · 16/01/2022 19:52

@skipperjonce

I'm struggling to understand why so far 20 people have voted its weird for two parents to start chatting in the park whilst their kids play, realise they are getting along well, and plan a future meet up.

This is how you make friends surely?

All comments are positive at the minute so please speak and and give your reasons people. Genuinely curious why you think this is odd.

I voted YANBU because I took ‘play date’ to mean at each other’s houses. Depending on the age of the child, that could easily mean dropping off to pick up later, which for better or worse, I would feel uncomfortable about, if I’d only met the parent in the park on one occasion. Arranging to all meet in the park again would be absolutely fine!
Goldbar · 16/01/2022 19:55

Surely no one is stupid enough to consider leaving their child with someone they've met once in the park (male or female)?

Hertsgirl10 · 16/01/2022 19:55

If you trust him to take your child to the park why don’t you trust him to supervise a play date? Or is planning on leaving your child there with this random park dad?

Original poster
BFPDec21 · 16/01/2022 19:55

Thanks for the replies. I'm definitely BU then!

I've never done this as I always go to the park with people we already know or with DD on our own.

OP posts:
Nomoreporridge872 · 16/01/2022 19:59

But how old is your child? Will your DH be present throughout the whole play date?

Goldbar · 16/01/2022 19:59

@BFPDec21

Thanks for the replies. I'm definitely BU then!

I've never done this as I always go to the park with people we already know or with DD on our own.

If your DD is on her own, doesn't she play with other children sometimes? And don't you talk to their parents occasionally?
winterchills · 16/01/2022 20:02

I think it's nice! If it was the other way round you wouldn't have a problem? He's met someone who he gets on with and presumably the little ones do too.

stripetop · 16/01/2022 20:04

@BFPDec21 what would you do if you went with people and someone was on their own?

This is how I met my "mum" friends. They called me over, girls played. I think it's great he's done this.

waterrat · 16/01/2022 20:06

I've got friends I made in our local playground! Totally normal. These are other families in your community.

RedCandyApple · 16/01/2022 20:06

People must live in a parallel universe to me! I’ve never swap numbers with any mums at the park even after polite chit chat, do groups of mums really call other mums that are on their own over to join there group? Really, never seen that happen!

Namechange466 · 16/01/2022 20:10

Really really strange question - if this were two mums you wouldn’t bat an eyelid

RedskyThisNight · 16/01/2022 20:11

@RedCandyApple

People must live in a parallel universe to me! I’ve never swap numbers with any mums at the park even after polite chit chat, do groups of mums really call other mums that are on their own over to join there group? Really, never seen that happen!
I think it's more often a case of your child plays with their child so you get chatting. I'd suspect it's more likely to happen with 2 parents on their own rather than with a group though - groups tend to be very cliquey.

How do you get to know other mums of pre-schoolers if you won't exchange numbers? Sure, you might wait to meet them more than once, but there has to be a point where you agree to meet them outside of whatever place you've originally met for the friendship to progress. Unless you are fortunate to have friends with same age children, it's really quite common!

Goldbar · 16/01/2022 20:12

@RedCandyApple

People must live in a parallel universe to me! I’ve never swap numbers with any mums at the park even after polite chit chat, do groups of mums really call other mums that are on their own over to join there group? Really, never seen that happen!
It works better if you're both there on your own. I spent the best part of an hour last week huddled at the top of the big kids' climbing frame with another mum as our DC were egging each other on to attempt it and yes, we did exchange numbers so the children could meet up again. If I was with a friend or in a group, I would be friendly and polite but would generally be talking to the people I had come to meet.