Was this a dodgy massage?!

[Dodgyornotdodgy]

I swear I am NOT a troll - MNHQ can confirm I am a long time poster who has NC. I would particularly like the opinions of masseuses/masseurs but anyone really.

I get massages all the time and this has never happened before.

Masseur (so male - not a problem, have masseurs fairly often too. Not sexist and not assuming all men are pervs).

During the leg portion of my massage he crossed my leg over and massaged the bottom of my thigh. The bottom of my thigh was over my vulva. It was extremely arousing, obviously. I didn’t really know what to say - he did it on both sides.

I guess my AIBU is - AIBU to think this was deliberate and he knows what he is doing?! Or am I just quite sex starved and bizarre?

I realise people will come on being like why didn’t you say anything but 1) I wasn’t really sure if he was doing anything on purpose ajd 2) to be honest it was pleasant!

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Anyway I am to sure what to say. I would never book a massage with a male masseur because, well, lying down semi-naked for some guy who rubs you all over is basically a sexual situation, no? Whether you enjoyed it or hated it there’s a definite sexual vibe in that situation. Obvs.

I would never book a massage with a male masseur because, well, lying down semi-naked for some guy who rubs you all over is basically a sexual situation, no?

I have never had this issue before with a male massaging me. Ever! I also didn’t specifically book a man, although often men can be better because they can do a firm pressure more easily

The mirror part alone would have me balking actually Op, I would definitely mention both to them in that case. If it was unintentional then surely he would be nothing but embarrassed and change how he does it, if he continues and someone else complains then they will have grounds to deal with it

Haha that comment about seed balls, peanuts and bird feet has floored me. I've got mascara running down my face now.

I think it could have been intentional as he had no reason to massage that area of your thigh when in that position, he could have put your thigh across for the stretch but surely it would have made more sense to carry out the massage of that area whilst you were on your back.

I have to say all the massages I have had outside of the U.K. have been much more thorough and intense than in the U.K. but I’ve never experienced what you describe.

Ok discussing it with DH he thinks I should complain, mostly because he did one leg a lot longer than the other and it was the leg I was clearly enjoying more. He thinks it stretches incredulity that an experienced masseur wouldn’t know what he was doing.

Oh goodness OP, I commented and was laughing at some of the comments but the more I've read your updates, the more I'm convinced he knew what he was doing?! I'm sorry so many of us here have minimised your feelings but trust your instincts on this one. I'd definitely report. If it's a holiday then chances are you'll never see him again. Your complaint might be one of many the spa has had and might be the deciding factor on whether he's kept on or not.

Although it’s a fancy hotel so what are the chances no one has reported him
By now if he’s doing it to everyone?!

But as you say if it is done in such a way as to appear acceptable, maybe other guests were also not sure if they were right to complain?

@Winniemarysarah

Omg this thread 😂😂 I’ve just choked on a sausage roll and pissed in my Tena lady 😂😂

As a massage therapist it's not a move I recognize. I would be concerned if my adult dd told she had been massaged like this

I'd report that op.Found this thread funny at first but the mirror and your later descriptions have made me really angry with the creep.Hope you are ok.

Was he called Brian? Were you in hull?

I had one a bit like that, not gonna lie, I enjoyed it

@ReadySteadyTwins

That's not a leg. I don't know what that is, but it's not a leg.

Request immediate transfer to classics

Jesus, really? Classics?

@evrey

Thank you - that’s the sort of information I’m curious

Ok, so this thread was funny- the explanations, confusions, diagrams, attempts to understand- it all added up to a truly funny read.

The situation OP is in is clearly not funny, and I'm sure we all recognise that.

What do you want to do, OP? a your husband sounds supportive. The mirror issue is quite clearly wrong and easily evidenced, no room for interpretation there, and the other points are backed up by the mirror.

I hope you have managed a belly laugh to distress off the back of this, despite the initiating incident.

@picklemewalnuts

Yes - to be clear to everyone, this thread has also really made ME laugh! I came here for information and mostly I’ve received laughs and some support. I’m not feeling violated or upset etc I just feel a bit odd. Will discuss further with husband when children are asleep as don’t want them to overhear, and think about what to do.

I don’t want to get him in trouble if it’s accidental. But the mirror thing is creepy and probably deserves a mention at the very least.

Even if it's accidental, he needs to be aware so that he can be less direct in his massage techniques.

Sounds so dodgy, even phrased like that!

Oh my days its not often that I laugh out loud but this post and its responses are hilarious thank you everyone and top marks to OP for diagram drawing

@BlowDryRat

I can't recreate this at home, but you mean like this? My drawing skills are also questionable.

One of the best diagrams I have seen on MN. "Happy Feelings" PMSL

Yeah, I'd say report it to the hotel/spa management. it's not necessarily "getting him in trouble," they may simply need to update employee training or something like that.

Or he may have a string of "hmm sounds slightly problematic" complaints already but it hasn't been enough to do anything about, but getting another report might help them form a clearer picture. That's up to management, it's out of your hands.

I think you feeling physical pleasure is a red herring kind of. Your body happened to respond to a particular type of physical stimulation, that doesn't mean that you "cheated" or are sex-mad. And I'm not even sure it necessarily means he was aiming for it deliberately; as he wasn't directly touching your genitals, he may have been unaware it would affect you in that way--people are different in what stimulates them, after all. So no need to feel guilty or complicit because of your physical sensations.

The fact that you feel so uncomfortable and are questioning this means I think it's worth having a word with the hotel/spa.

Ooo rogue masseur! We like to play that in our house 😬

@Dodgyornotdodgy

Additional information re bit of leg massaged

You should do drawings for biology text books.....

Was he touching it or touching v nearby do you mean?