Young woman murdered running, what sort of world is this?!?

[irishfarmer]

A young woman was murdered yesterday in Tullamore, Ireland while out for a run at 4pm. It is not a dangerous area, she was on a popular route along the canal, in day light! These things just do not happen here. I am in total shock. It was a random, unprovoked attack. It's just so awful, 23 years old her whole life ahead of her. She was a teacher so had probably just finished work for the day and wanted to de-stress.

AIBU to think this poor girl should have been able to go for a run on a lovely winter afternoon safely? I know I am not BU just don't know where else to post. I am truly shocked and horrified.

Absolutely fucking awful.

@HelloBunny

The couple I babysat for, the husband would walk me home (just next door). He was such a lovely man. But... I used to think, what if dies something? Because my uncle did.

@HelloBunny - funny you should say that. When I was 14 I babysat for a local couple. The man was well known as a flirt and had affairs with/without his wife's knowledge but got away with it as he was upper class.

He often offered to walk me home or give me a lift to the local pub - his stepdaughter used to be out a lot. I always refused but not thinking he'd do something (I'd have told my stepdad or brother).

Really awful and sickening to think about

I'm just disgusted and angry. Yet again men cutting short the lives of innocent women going about their daily business. I feel utterly overwhelmed when I think about the future for my daughters. The NAMALT brigade can just fuck off. I literally never see men gather en masse to actually do something about male violence. Its all on us to hold vigils and protests.

The majority of women are killed by men. The majority of men are killed by men.

What's the common denominator here I wonder?

Of course there are outliers, but lets face it, the main perpetrators of violent death of both sexes are men.

What proportion of men does it have to be for society to admit there's a major problem? 10%? 50%? What's your tipping point?

@Yebbie

No, not all men.

But far, far too many.

No, not all men. But always men.

@ChimChimeny

There's plenty of other smaller ways to be intimidated and/or assaulted that stop me from walking or running certain routes.

Does anyone remember the thread with loads of women talking about their experiences out running? Sexual harassment/abuse, things being thrown at them, jeering, swearing etc? No we won't all be murdered in a run of walk but it can be scary in other ways

I remember that thread, very eye opening to see how women are treated and how blase all the men who were doing it acted. It's definitely not just the weirdo psychopaths who do this, it's seemingly normal men on their way to work etc.

I was out on a walk myself at about 8.30am in the summer a few years ago, a man came up from behind, grabbed me and started pulling me into some bushes. Luckily I managed to get away, but I could have easily been one in the rape and/or murder statistics. I was not murdered, but it definitely put me off going out by myself for some time. That man looked like a very average man. I would not have thought he was anything but normal had I seen him walking down the street.

*That's murder victims by the way - I'm not talking as a whole before the pedants jump on me.

I have a 15yo DD and I'm telling her the same shit my mother told me at her age about personal safety. Wtf are women STILL policing themselves with what they do, where they go, and how they dress? Even if DD accepts my advice there's no guarantee she's safe.

We live in London, only a few miles from where both Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa were killed, so I am hyper-aware of my daughter's, and my safety (I work shifts). Her dad will go and pick DD up from friends houses anytime after dark even at 4pm, even though it's early. He says to her, "It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust other people."

I'm annoyed, quite frankly, that we are hyper-vigilant, and we are installing the same sense of fear and self-policing into the next generation. But we have to or DD may put herself more at risk.

Alongside a police force with a poor attitude towards women and a legal system that convicts less than 3% of alleged rapes/sexual assaults by men (the number could be even smaller because women know it's highly unlikely if they report, they will get justice) it is dangerous to be female. If you are a black or minority female, the risk to your life is still much higher.

The NAMALT crowd can fuck off too. God, I'm tired.

Sending hugs to everyone who loved Aisling. My heart breaks for them. 💔

It goes without saying that its not all men.

Thats why I don't say it - I just say ''men''.

We all know perfectly well when women say ''men'' in this context , they're not accusing every single man of something horrendous.

Why, then, do people still insist on NAMALT?

So true @slashbeef would men give up their day to go on a march to show their disgust at their own sex? No. None of the so-called decent men show any outrage.
None of our husbands, brothers, fathers or sons ever put their reputations on the line being the first to stand up for women or give their time up to march, or their money to womens aid.

@UserBot2022 - all men do is go into a defensive mode. Every time.
It's the "But I'm different." motto all over those discussions.

@Covidclaire

my experience is that actually it is “all men” who don’t understand why we feel afraid.

Sorry I don’t agree with this. Surely I’m not the only one with a husband who will walk our babysitter home at night, or who used to come and meet me at the bus stop at night (and now that we have kids insists I get a taxi from the station).

Yes but does your husband challenge his male friends who display their misogyny on a daily basis? Does he tell them that their behaviour is unacceptable and that there should be zero tolerance for this kind of thing or does he keep quiet and accept it as what men do.

That is what people mean when they say that NAMALT is an issue. Until men call each other out about how they view and treat women then we can't excuse anyone.

Yeh, there are no heroes. Tom Meagher is saying it. But it would be nice if all the supposedly decent men could realise what TM says after Jill was murdered.

It’s a patriarchal world. A young girl (19) was hit over the head with a hammer and killed round the corner from our house, in front of my dcs infant school. It’s a very nice, quite area.

Snoken
Agree with you, but this is a tricky one. Either the babystitter walks on her own, and could run into a vile man, or the wife walks back with babysitter, and then she could meet the same fate coming back home again. They can't all three go, as there are presumably young children at home sleeping. I really don't know what the answer is.

Perhaps get an adult from her home to collect her.

She taught First Class.

30 six year olds will have to be told that Ms Murphy was murdered. 😪
It really is horrible the pain one "man" can inflict.

I cannot believe that on the very first page about a woman being brutally murdered in broad daylight, someone came on with NAMALT.

Seriously, just fuck off.

@Elodeastar

Yes it's really MEN'S feelings that are the most important thing in this situation. GTF.

@Yebbie

No, not all men.

But far, far too many.

And we never who of them it is.

It's horrific. Poor woman.

@Omicrone

I cannot believe that on the very first page about a woman being brutally murdered in broad daylight, someone came on with NAMALT.

Seriously, just fuck off.

Took the words out of my mouth. Unbelievable.

@sadnessoverwhelming

This is very local to me. I know that path so well. I know people who know her dad, boyfriend and sister. I know someone who worked with her. They described her as sunshine in human form. I didn't sleep last night thinking about her. Her last thoughts. Did she see him? Did she sense the danger? Did he catch her from behind? Did she plead for her life? My heart is absolutely aching for her boyfriend, her family, friends, colleagues, her little students but most of all for her. For Ashling, for the agony of her last moments and the life she won't get to live now. Because of a man. Another man. It doesn't matter that it's not all men. It matters that when a woman dies so brutally it is ALWAYS men.

RIP beautiful Ashling. Codladh Sàmh.

So beautifully written…as a Mum of a young female I cannot bare to imagine how her friends ,family and pupils are feeling…absolutely heart wrenching. Sadly as a female I have always avoided walking anywhere even vaguely remote.Absolutely shocking and I genuinely don’t know what the solution is !

@Cotswoldmama

I do so many things to keep safe whilst running. It makes me think what's the point. So sad and angry.

I was about to post something very similar.

All the advice we women are given and all the things we even tell our daughters. Don’t be out in isolated areas, don’t be out in the dark, don’t wear x, don’t do y, don’t speak to strangers and be careful with acquaintances, don’t be drunk and vulnerable.

And then it’s like what’s the point? You can do everything right and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter a jot because a man might decide to do something wrong. It’s terrifying.

I run in in dark a lot of the time in my area and have never felt frightened. And now, I just feel it is not safe. I feel so so sad, so sad for the beautiful yong woman's family, for the children she teaches, for her community. So sad for all of our daughters, sisters, mothers, nieces. I feel so bloody mad that this has happened in broad daylight.
Was there nobody around to help, did he just pounce on her and kill her? I am just so so shocked. There should be a zero tolerance policy for this.
RIP Aishling

Gosh this is dreadful. Poor girl and her poor family.
Women aren't safe anywhere.