To be depressed that my children are unlikely to own a nice house?

[contributory]

Both my kids did really well at school and have ended up on good salaries. But despite this, they will probably never own a nice house.

They are fortunate that they can afford to get on the property ladder, as a lot can't. But I can't help but feel depressed that they work so hard and such long hours, for a fairly modest life style.

If I compare against my parents (one of whom did the same job as dd), when they were in their late 20s they could afford to buy a nice detached house and send me and my siblings away to school. We always had good quality clothes, nice furnishings in the house, holidays abroad etc.

But now, my kids work longer hours, are (on paper) more successful than my parents or me (a teacher) but get so much less. Rather than a nice detached house in a good area, my kids are stuck in tiny one-two bed flats with enormous mortgages.

@Lasttraintolondon every time I've seen reporting on multiples and have some insight then this led to a cull of lowest paid staff with outsourcing to worse pay and conditions.

agree with @oatmilk4breakfast where I live outside London, personal experience and EAs confirm there is no ladder like there was pre-2008.
Buying, doing up, using pay rises and moves up he ladder as a model has stopped.

Thing is the world changes. My DPs (I'm in my sixties) did not own their own home. I (working for the nhs on their famously low wages at that time) did not expect to own my house, didn't really think about it it was so out of the question. However I went abroad to earn more (that is an option still open to young people) and, fortunately met DH who was in a better paid career. We bought our first detached house when we were early 40s.
The world changed hugely between my DPs 40s and mine. The world is changing again, home working, falling birthrate, immigration, perhaps the UK becoming a less desirable place for foreigners to buy land and property (Gov could change taxes).
It might be hard now but could be quite different in 10/20 years time. And we oldies might have had it lucky but we are now counting down to our demise, writing our wills. Facing age related illness. I'd rather be a skint 20 year old than a rich 70 year old.

I'd rather be a skint 20 year old than a rich 70 year old.

Amen to that. Trouble is you have to be that 70 year old to appreciate it.

The money is still there as it always was, inequality is the issue. There are far more billionaires these days. No one needs a billion pounds.

@TheReluctantPhoenix

There is a lot of jealousy towards the older generation on here.

But would those of you who don’t have nice houses give up your phones and the internet to have one? And, if you discover a lump in your abdomen, the choice would be watchful waiting or ‘exploratory’ surgery (few scans).

Large detached houses in good areas are expensive now but successful professionals (especially with two working parents) would certainly afford a decent house.

Your children children, in particular, are very lucky, with potential large inheritances to come from the money locked up in two properties (yours and your parents).

If I gave up my Internet and phone it wouldn't mean I could have a better house as the saving would be negligible compared to house prices. Or do you mean that older people got nice houses while the compensation for younger people is the Internet and their phone? Because as far as I'm aware older people can have those things too. (Obviously not before they were invented, but you can't miss something that doesn't yet exist) Again with medical advancements, yes the care is more developed but access to it gets harder every year. I'm not young by the way, I'm 52. And the idea that young people are jealous of us is ridiculous. No one would choose to be older. That doesn't mean they (and we) can't acknowledge that aspects of our lives may have been easier than theirs.

First World problems eh

Such a dull and predictable thing to say on any thread. Pretty much anything discussed on here is a first world problem.

Yes YABVU. I’m a socialist, I’m literally sat here wearing a T-shirt with Karl Marx’s face on it, but I’m sceptical that people who think a nice big detached house is a measure of success would vote for any government that wanted to level the playing field. In an ideal world secure housing would be accessible to all, renting would be more secure and protected and come with more freedoms, taxes would be higher to provide things like free childcare and bigger state pensions and the housing market wouldn’t be about assets and profit. That’s the world I’d like (and I say this as a homeowner).

But in the context of the system we live under, your kids are doing better than many people. I’m assuming they live in London or another major city - they probably could afford a detached house outside of London but maybe they don’t want a long commute or to sacrifice the city lifestyle. Do they even want a “nice” detached house? What is actually wrong with flats? They don’t sound like they’re struggling so I really can’t find a violin small enough I’m afraid.

This is causing you depression?

You are experiencing mental health problems because of this?

Please don't trivialise depression and use this term so casually. Depression kills.

Immigration, death and birth rate: forgive the bluntness but why not one in, one out? As a country set a population target and each year adjust tax incentives and immigration targets to meet it. I'm pro-immigration but there's no reason we can't manage it properly. This would reduce pressure on housing stocks.

there aren't enough young people though, the population has grown because people are living longer.

There’s no ladder anymore.

Yes there was a really good article in the FT about this.

Where I live in the south east there is a ladder, couples across the road from me move into small town town houses from one bedroom flats, they stay for about five years and then move to detached new build houses or chunky semis with room to extend.

On reflection, I agree that OP is exaggerating her own children's 'plight' somewhat, and needs to reexamine the basis for saying it's affecting her mental health. My sympathies lie far more with young people who can't get a foot on the ladder which may not even exist anymore. OP your kids are housed and comfortable and more than that, they have invested in property at a time when opportunities for doing so are shrinking for many young people. In fact, young people failed by education, for example, don't even have consolatory social housing programmes to assist them in making their way in life. The more I think about it, you don't know you're born compared with many