To be depressed that my children are unlikely to own a nice house?

[contributory]

Both my kids did really well at school and have ended up on good salaries. But despite this, they will probably never own a nice house.

They are fortunate that they can afford to get on the property ladder, as a lot can't. But I can't help but feel depressed that they work so hard and such long hours, for a fairly modest life style.

If I compare against my parents (one of whom did the same job as dd), when they were in their late 20s they could afford to buy a nice detached house and send me and my siblings away to school. We always had good quality clothes, nice furnishings in the house, holidays abroad etc.

But now, my kids work longer hours, are (on paper) more successful than my parents or me (a teacher) but get so much less. Rather than a nice detached house in a good area, my kids are stuck in tiny one-two bed flats with enormous mortgages.

Lots of people have moved to cheaper areas due to being able to work from home. There are some areas that rose by 30% as a result which probably means locals are struggling now. Its a really good for solution for some peoole but not all.
We need an economic strategy that doesnt centre on London so much.

I also agree a nice house doesnt mean 4 bed detached - but i do think there are areas that are more suitable for different points of your life. It might be ok living above a busy kebab shop as a young person on your way up. It might be quite depressing trying to settle a baby to the sound of drunks fighting over the kebab at 2am.

@Crowdfundingforcake

Grey12, I'm guessing op's kids are in their twenties - starter home territory, not 4 bed detached family home territory. When we were selling our last place the estate agent we used suggested our 3 bed townhouse was just the thing for a first time buyer. I suggested maybe first time buyers would be looking for a 1/2 bed flat but EA said they were usually looking for minimum 3 bed new builds.

Where we are, you can buy a nice 2 bed flat with modern kitchen and bathroom for £75k, but first time buyers don't want them, so they are bought by BTL landlords.

It seems to me that nowadays a lot of first time buyers are older than 20s 🤷🏻‍♀️ and starting a family.... at least that is the case with me and the greatest majority of people I know

But when young people are buying somewhere cheaper / less fun / above a kebab shop they are making compromises the likes of me didn’t have to make at the same age, and yet they have to listen to the older generation who have no comprehension of an economic picture that has shifted so far against the young coming out with unintelligent comments like:

Well just don’t eat anything but lentils for 10 years.
But it’s your fault for buying a beer once a month
Lattes
Sky
Avocados

Life is much harder. I’m surprised the young are not much more resentful than they are.

What makes you think it's ever been different.

statistics

Yea but back in the day we didn't have expenses like mobile phones, pay for TV like Sky, broadband and eating out was a once in a blue moon treat. Takeaway coffee was unheard of.

🙄

I went to my grandchild’s 3rd birthday party this summer, at his home. All the guests drove fancy cars, most live in really nice houses and are clearly better off than I ever was. (i too am a teacher).
My daughters both have highly paid jobs, the eldest (34) has just bought a stunning house worth around £1m, the youngest (25) has also bought a lovely house worth double my house!
I think it’s very much dependent on location tbh. If you live in London, then I guess house prices are off the scale. If you live elsewhere, not so much. In today’s Times, there’s an article about this very thing - living in Manchester
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/why-everyone-under-30-is-moving-to-manchester-sqmgxwc0v?shareToken=655ce7bae203484e8002f35885355ae8

There is a lot of jealousy towards the older generation on here.

But would those of you who don’t have nice houses give up your phones and the internet to have one? And, if you discover a lump in your abdomen, the choice would be watchful waiting or ‘exploratory’ surgery (few scans).

Large detached houses in good areas are expensive now but successful professionals (especially with two working parents) would certainly afford a decent house.

Your children children, in particular, are very lucky, with potential large inheritances to come from the money locked up in two properties (yours and your parents).

Life is forever changing, they need to buy lucky which is an unlucky time for most.
I suspect there'll be a recession shortly behind covid, businesses will close, house prices will crash.
My Dbro had the same job as my Father, we were poor as DC dad's wage covered our mortgage in a shit area.
Dbro is a millionaire, he bought his first home from 100,000 sold it for 300,000 during boom.
Dsis made money this way too.
They'll get there.

There is a lot of investors interest in Ireland it is impossible to bid against them they've a money pit. I wouldn't mind if they were inland investors however they're a Canadian pension fund whipping every 1 to 4 bedroom off the market, they are tax free.

I am the older generation at mid 40s so im not jealous. I Just think its harder for someone buying their first home now in the south east and I dont think not having a phone or internet would work as so many people use them for work itself.

There’s no ladder anymore.

I'm in my 40's too.
It has always been difficult for people buying on a single wage.
A working couple with decent jobs could definitely afford a decent home after some cheaper start up homes.

A lot of bitter Belindas on this thread! It's not a race to the bottom, you know.

As one PP pointed out, of course it is reasonable to feel sad that it seems to just be accepted that we just have to accept poor standards of living and a worse quality of life due to rising inflation and the like.

I know MN hates when this is brought up but remember that doctors/accountants/wealthy famous people on good salaries quite often have to house share in London, which would have been unheard of back in the OP's mum's day. It isn't unreasonable to want your own space and to be paid a decent wage to cover said cost of living.

For balance though, the only thing YAB slightly U about is the description of a "nice" house. Not that a detached house isn't nice, but a nice house is in the eye of the beholder... if that makes sense I'd have killed to have my own flat in my early 20s.

OP, I wish your children the best of luck with their careers and hope things improve for them

@contributory

Interesting points, and I would agree that we can't point the finger at one cause in isolation.

I don't have a particularly nice house no, my dm certainly views it as below 'her station'. Meanwhile, my parents still live in the same house and refuse to down size.

Sounds like a family of snobs sorry.

You have to reach a certain stature to make parents happy.

You for your parents. Your kids for their parents.

It's not your fault. Sounds like an inherited trait.

I get where you are coming from OP. This doesn't apply to me anymore as I moved overseas (because of this!) but I do have friends - couples, both lawyers with very high London salaries who are buying £1m houses in what are - frankly - horrible areas in zone 3/4. Neighbourhoods full of chicken shops and hoodies hanging out on street corners, parks full of dog shit and litter.

When privately educated professionals pulling in £200k between them a year are living in places like that you know something has gone really wrong in SE.

@dafey

Yea but back in the day we didn't have expenses like mobile phones, pay for TV like Sky, broadband and eating out was a once in a blue moon treat. Takeaway coffee was unheard of.

🙄

Didn't you know?! Everyone in the UK in the 60s to 90s lived with no mod-cons at all! Never went out, never went to the pub, ate only potatoes and wore only potato sacks as clothing

I agree OP. We are working as hard, if not harder, for less. And we have smart phones, cars, washing machines, foreign holidays and other stuff but life is harder. Now we have NI hike, fuel increases and (my rant of the day) no bloody NHS dentists. Where I live, from April 1st, there will be no NHS dentists forcing us all to go private. That's a costume parents didn't have.

Young person here. We don't have a tv. Or phone contracts, just the SIM cards which are £11 a month each. If we got rid of those it would still take us 530 years to save up the average deposit needed for a 3 bed terraced house. P.s we would want 3 beds as we are getting to family having age. An average first time buyer in our area is something like 35. Time is running out for women at that point. Worried about a crash too as interests you've all benefited from are only going to one way so would want to be somewhere we can stay a while if that happens and the ladder falls.
P.s I eat loads of lentils, no meat, shop in Aldi and have a 10 year old tiny car that I barely use. Our only holiday was 4 days camping in Dorset in September. But houses are still expensive.....what are we doing so wrong?

Oh and despite good salaries , we are only getting poorer with national insurance hikes, bill hikes, inflation, continually rising prices etc. Can't even move to Europe now. ..yes I'm resentful and angry.

Obviously there is no right and wrong but I'm curious about the idea that owning a nice house in the suburbs should be a desirable thing in your 20s. It robs you of any flexibility, spontaneity etc if you want to up and move for a new job in Barcelona for example....yes you could sell, but I think for a lot of people home ownership and suburbia in your 20s sounds like a recipe for a dull life. Why a race to 'complete' life achievements by the time you're 30 as if you somehow go off your sell by date after that?

The only way houses will get cheaper is if people stop paying silly money for them.

Gosh OP, I think your dc are in a really good position to have bought in their 20s. I don't know anyone of that age who can buy detached houses as FTBs. I'm in my 40s and still haven't been able to buy.

I'm 27 and last year bought my first house, it's a new build which isn't what I wanted but it's a 4 bed detached with a nice big garden and it's mine. No help from parents on either side.

Yes it's a lot harder than it used to be, but it isn't impossible. I'd say around half of my friends own their houses, while half still rent.

Sorry, but I think YABU

My son is looking to buy late this year. He is will be 24. If he takes the smallest mortgage he can he can buy a nice size one bed flat, another £25-£30k will up to a two bed flat or if he maxes out what he can borrow a 2 bed starter house. He works long hours and diy and gardening are not things he can do or wants to so he is looking at the second option of a flat with two beds and hopefully a terrace or balcony.
This way he won’t over stretch himself and will still have disposable income to enjoy life whilst he is still young.
And still better than my first flat back in the 80’s which was a studio above a bookies. We are in the south and I am giving him some help with his deposit but he has also saved since 19 so I am going to match what he has saved. He choose not to go to university but to do an apprenticeship as he wanted to buy asap and knew he couldn’t do both but it has worked out well for him as his skill set is in demand (IT) and he has the experience employers are looking for. He was offered two jobs just before Christmas at more than he was earning so he used those offers to negotiate a pay rise with his employer so now his mortgage multiples are good.

The argument others have it worse is so weak. Yeah it's shit for your kids and for many others.

Want it fixed? Here's two ideas:
Put in place a maximum gap between the worst paid in an organisation and the lowest, say thirty times the bottom income. That'll see lower wages rise. Who doesn't want that level of fairness except the 1%?

Immigration, death and birth rate: forgive the bluntness but why not one in, one out? As a country set a population target and each year adjust tax incentives and immigration targets to meet it. I'm pro-immigration but there's no reason we can't manage it properly. This would reduce pressure on housing stocks.