To be depressed that my children are unlikely to own a nice house?

[contributory]

Both my kids did really well at school and have ended up on good salaries. But despite this, they will probably never own a nice house.

They are fortunate that they can afford to get on the property ladder, as a lot can't. But I can't help but feel depressed that they work so hard and such long hours, for a fairly modest life style.

If I compare against my parents (one of whom did the same job as dd), when they were in their late 20s they could afford to buy a nice detached house and send me and my siblings away to school. We always had good quality clothes, nice furnishings in the house, holidays abroad etc.

But now, my kids work longer hours, are (on paper) more successful than my parents or me (a teacher) but get so much less. Rather than a nice detached house in a good area, my kids are stuck in tiny one-two bed flats with enormous mortgages.

I understand your point, to sum up; when I was 25, starting a decent career, I was earning £15000 ( mid/late 80s) and bought a decent flat, on my own, for £24,500, and paid commuter fairs too. Fast forward to DD, now 25. second year teacher, cannot even think of renting alone, never mind buying.

All my children have managed to buy a home on their single professional salaries. They saved hard for their deposits and we also chipped in, but it is perfectly possible.

Maybe they don't want the upkeep of a house and are happier to rent?

Have you asked them OP?

It is an individual choice.

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting for your kids what you had, if you had what you regards as more and better. However, I think you have to move with the times and realise that things are different now and not in a good way (which I'm sure you are aware, but I think you need to keep this in mind if it is getting you down). While they might be working more for less, they are at least on the property ladder which is an accomplishment in itself these days. You need to keep that in mind too, not everyone is able to even manage what your children have in today's climate. As long as they are happy and are managing, then that is all that matters.

Depends where they live. If they move North within eg easy commuting distance of Leeds they can afford a lovely home. If they choose to stay in the SE it may be more difficult.

But again there are loads of places in eg Kent which are affordable and commutable to London.

@CheltenhamLady

All my children have managed to buy a home on their single professional salaries. They saved hard for their deposits and we also chipped in, but it is perfectly possible.

Maybe they don't want the upkeep of a house and are happier to rent?

Have you asked them OP?

It is an individual choice.

Nice idea, but living in the South East.

Yea but back in the day we didn't have expenses like mobile phones, pay for TV like Sky, broadband and eating out was a once in a blue moon treat. Takeaway coffee was unheard of. Several of my friends and family didn't have central heating and Christmas was one main and a couple small gifts. And we were upper middle class. So yes nice house (in Chelsea!!!!) but other than that was our 'lifestyle' better? We had one car and walked mostly. Holidays were to relatives or self catering by the sea.
I'm pretty sure your grown kids have phones and computers and at least one TV, kindles and iPods etc. washing machine and dishwasher maybe? Go out at least once a week? Holiday abroad? My parents bought for the first time in their mid 30s, yes a nice house but two incomes and a mortgage even then (60s). And without the above mentioned luxuries.

@Crowdfundingforcake

Maudmadrigal, of the people in their twenties in my extended family and DH's extended family, (7), all but one have their own homes. None have received 'handouts' from family, a couple have lived at home for a year or two after leaving uni while saving hard. My own two nephews both already earn far more than I could ever hope to earn. They have many more opportunities open to them than I could have ever dreamt of.

We're not wealthy, middle class stock by any stretch of the imagination.

In the area we live in we're surrounded by young families - I doubt they're all renting.

I think young people in SE England may have a problem buying property but there are plenty of opportunities elsewhere, and I do think the situation can become a self fulfilling prophecy - young people expect not to be able to buy property, even though in many cases it would be possible.

I'm glad. I hope it is easier than I think it is.

DH and I spend a year and a half in our twenties saving hard to raise a deposit (we spent so little that year that I had a call from the bank about 'unusual activity' when I bought a £10 t-shirt and a £4 sandwich!). The flat we bought then was £200k, and our combined salaries were just over £50k. It was possible for us.

That flat is now worth over £500k (and no longer ours). We were both on national pay scales, and the current pay for the jobs we were doing at that stage of our careers (late 20s) would be about £65k. It just is less affordable for people to buy houses now.

If it s making you clinically depressed pls see a gp

They in same boat as many
Whose to say large detached will make them happy?/happier? Be positive about their small flat

Think about how you vote
And govt policies

My eldest son will either move to a different area in Uk or move abroad, and l don' t blame him, first time buyers are not getting a good deal, prices are massively over inflated.

But surely your children are on the first rung of the property ladder (aptly named!) - It's supposed to be shit!
DH and I bought a one bed flat in a rough part of London when we were 24. Lived there for 5 years and sold it for a profit. Then we moved to a 3 bed terrace just outside of London. We've been here for 12 years and made a lot of equity on that. This year we will be moving to a lovely big 4 bed detached, a little bit further out still - hopefully we won't be moving again. None of that would have been possible if we didn't start out in our 'grotty' little one-bed.

I came here for the “but back in the day see didn’t have sky, mobile phones, lattes etc” comment and am not disappointed.

But back in the day house prices were but a fraction of what they are now! Do some economic research, be grateful that when you were buying houses were so much more easily affordable, and for goodness sake shut up with your patronising drivel!

I agree OP. Everyone saying it is what it is, times have changed are just accepting the decrease in living standards, obscene housing costs and rising cost of living and stagnating wages as the norm. When you look at what could be afforded on one salary for our grandparents (yes I know the argument of well women had to stop working so it had to be afforded on one wage, they had no choice) I would argue that many women have no choice but to go back to work as the cost of living for a family is often dependent on two salaries. Older generations who have often (not always) benefitted from good pensions, free tuition in HE and huge profits from house price increases often don’t realise how hard it is. Arguably the housing market is a ladder however with stagnating wages and a likely lull in the housing market people aren’t making the profits and having the salary increase within a few years to upgrade and actually move up the ladder.

Yes it's rubbish :(

Myself & DP earn more than both our parents did when they were working, yet they both have nice family homes and we are in a one-bed flat with nothing on the horizon to change that.

It's very frustrating that in some areas of the UK you literally cannot get a house without upping sticks and leaving everything/everyone you know behind but quite a long distance.

@Roosk

Don’t assume your criteria for ‘success’ is theirs. In my late 20s I was a postgraduate student, living on fresh air and small change, in a flat so cold I used to take baths wearing a jumper. My parents, despite being poor themselves, thought it was terrible I wasn’t married with a ‘nice house’. I was having the time of my life.

How did this work? Didn’t the jumpers get wet?

@Lipsandlashes

But surely your children are on the first rung of the property ladder (aptly named!) - It's supposed to be shit! DH and I bought a one bed flat in a rough part of London when we were 24. Lived there for 5 years and sold it for a profit. Then we moved to a 3 bed terrace just outside of London. We've been here for 12 years and made a lot of equity on that. This year we will be moving to a lovely big 4 bed detached, a little bit further out still - hopefully we won't be moving again. None of that would have been possible if we didn't start out in our 'grotty' little one-bed.

To be fair though, not many can achieve this at 24 now. Which is a key factor in making it harder as people are starting families in their 'grotty' little one beds as they're already in their 30s by the time they can buy it.

And then it's harder to move up because there is either a part-time worker or childcare costs factored in.

@Fauxpains, you put it on and rolled it up so that the bottom edge was above the water level when you sat in the bath and washed your lower body. Then you took it off, and washed the rest of you extremely quickly and jumped out again — these were not lingering baths!

@YukoandHiro

Have to say OP, you've highlighted part of the problem. Asset hoarding of large properties and refusing to downsize by older people causes inflation lower down in the market due to a lack of suitable stock, and entrenches wealth disparities - as well as being morally wrong, and often impractical in lifestyle terms leading to earlier hospital admission and even death among those who insist on staying in a property unsuited to their needs.

You can see where this thread is heading... 🙄

I think the big picture is wages have stagnated, employment contracts are 'worse' in that many jobs that used to be a proper contract are now zero hours and for 6 months at a time, entry qualifications are higher, studying is expensive and house prices dont relate yo earnings in much of the counrty although this is regional.
So generally things are a bit rubbish for people twenty years younger than me, even if many an individual is doing just fine.

[quote Roosk]@Fauxpains, you put it on and rolled it up so that the bottom edge was above the water level when you sat in the bath and washed your lower body. Then you took it off, and washed the rest of you extremely quickly and jumped out again — these were not lingering baths![/quote]
I should say that this was a flat attached to one of the grander Oxford colleges. (Whose washing arrangements were still primitive in places — there was an undergraduate staircase that didn’t have any bath or shower at all, so you would see people crossing the quad in dressing gowns with towels and shampoo to use the next nearest ones…)

@Glitterygreen Yes, you're right. Although my DH had managed to save a big chunk of deposit by not going to uni (he did professional accounting qualifications instead) and living with his parents until we moved in together. So there was still quite a lot of sacrifice on his part.

@onedayoranother

Yea but back in the day we didn't have expenses like mobile phones, pay for TV like Sky, broadband and eating out was a once in a blue moon treat. Takeaway coffee was unheard of. Several of my friends and family didn't have central heating and Christmas was one main and a couple small gifts. And we were upper middle class. So yes nice house (in Chelsea!!!!) but other than that was our 'lifestyle' better? We had one car and walked mostly. Holidays were to relatives or self catering by the sea. I'm pretty sure your grown kids have phones and computers and at least one TV, kindles and iPods etc. washing machine and dishwasher maybe? Go out at least once a week? Holiday abroad? My parents bought for the first time in their mid 30s, yes a nice house but two incomes and a mortgage even then (60s). And without the above mentioned luxuries.

Oh good, the Daily Mail is leaking again.

I have a good salary, but I can't afford to buy a home within a reasonable distance of my work. Not even a 1-bedroom flat. I am in my 30s and live in a single room in a houseshare because I want to try to save to buy, but even with that I would still need to double the deposit I have (which is not small) to be able to buy and still be able to afford the season rail ticket to work, which is the rub. Those things are thousands of pounds. So unless I suddenly find a rich fiancé / husband, win the lottery, or inherit tens of thousands of pounds, it's not happening.

And to counter a few things:

• I don't own a car. Or a bike, for that matter.
• I don't like coffee, and I refuse to buy tea when I get it for free at work.
• Not a huge fan of avocados either, since I know some idiot will trot that one out.
• I haven't been on holiday since 2018. I don't have one planned this year.
• I don't go out to eat except on special occasions, and I'm not really a massive going out person anyway.
• I don't own a kindle or an iPod or a camera.
• I do have a laptop which is 7 years old now.
• I don't have Sky. I do have Netflix but at £10 per month I'd need to wait for 1,000 months to save £10k. So I feel like £10 a month isn't particularly luxurious and isn't what's stopping me being able to buy a home.
• I have a very basic phone contract. Again, £20 a month isn't going to buy me a flat.
• The washing machine came with the house we rent, but perhaps I should ask my landlord to take it away.

The problem is not young people being profligate, the problem is the hugely overheated asset market and the decades of stagnating wages.

@ilovesooty Well I was going to say that the government should make some enormous effort to incentivise downsizing earlier, perhaps by reducing inheritance tax for descendants in return. It was save the NHS an enormous amount. So many issues with elderly care begin with unfit and impractical housing.

What were you thinking...?

It’s unreal. People with very average jobs would get big houses on interest only mortgages (which they are now not paying back, btw!), having loads of kids and just living a certain life. Now people are working their socks off and will get a lot less. Also why people are having fewer children and later on in life.

It is a shame but there are also some benefits to living now. Don’t be sad op, their lives are different but not terrible by any means! There are actually a lot of improvements too.

@Lipsandlashes

But surely your children are on the first rung of the property ladder (aptly named!) - It's supposed to be shit! DH and I bought a one bed flat in a rough part of London when we were 24. Lived there for 5 years and sold it for a profit. Then we moved to a 3 bed terrace just outside of London. We've been here for 12 years and made a lot of equity on that. This year we will be moving to a lovely big 4 bed detached, a little bit further out still - hopefully we won't be moving again. None of that would have been possible if we didn't start out in our 'grotty' little one-bed.

And you benefitted from huge increase in price rises. If price rises continued to increase at the same rate No one can buy the grotty one bed Unless giovt scheme like htb Which just perpetuates the problem

@contributory

Both my kids did really well at school and have ended up on good salaries. But despite this, they will probably never own a nice house.

They are fortunate that they can afford to get on the property ladder, as a lot can't. But I can't help but feel depressed that they work so hard and such long hours, for a fairly modest life style.

If I compare against my parents (one of whom did the same job as dd), when they were in their late 20s they could afford to buy a nice detached house and send me and my siblings away to school. We always had good quality clothes, nice furnishings in the house, holidays abroad etc.

But now, my kids work longer hours, are (on paper) more successful than my parents or me (a teacher) but get so much less. Rather than a nice detached house in a good area, my kids are stuck in tiny one-two bed flats with enormous mortgages.

define modest lifestyle? holidays? mobile phones? nights out? takeaways?