To be depressed that my children are unlikely to own a nice house?

[contributory]

Both my kids did really well at school and have ended up on good salaries. But despite this, they will probably never own a nice house.

They are fortunate that they can afford to get on the property ladder, as a lot can't. But I can't help but feel depressed that they work so hard and such long hours, for a fairly modest life style.

If I compare against my parents (one of whom did the same job as dd), when they were in their late 20s they could afford to buy a nice detached house and send me and my siblings away to school. We always had good quality clothes, nice furnishings in the house, holidays abroad etc.

But now, my kids work longer hours, are (on paper) more successful than my parents or me (a teacher) but get so much less. Rather than a nice detached house in a good area, my kids are stuck in tiny one-two bed flats with enormous mortgages.

Perhaps we need to get over the obsession with home ownership. In many countries, renting for life is actually very normal. Everyone wanting a nice house is what caused the sub prime crisis.

Interesting points, and I would agree that we can't point the finger at one cause in isolation.

I don't have a particularly nice house no, my dm certainly views it as below 'her station'. Meanwhile, my parents still live in the same house and refuse to down size.

YABVU!

I can't buy anything and I'm in my 40s. At least your children are on the property ladder and have a chance of stepping up it.

Getting on the first rung is impossible for some despite living frugal lifestyles and working hard.

You may as well have posted that your diamond shoes are too tight and your tiara keeps slipping in terms of reading the room!

Most of us can't (especially in the South East) unless you got on the ladder before prices rose or get a big inheritance. I am mid 40s, and earn very well (100k+) but am unlikely to ever get beyond our small 2.5 bed semi without moving to a much cheaper part of the country.

Life is just different these days

They could move to a cheaper region where they could get better value for money.
At least they have a foot on the ladder!

Why would they not? If they earn good salaries are in proffessional careers and are already on the property ladder? They should just play if like anyone else, salary escalation, over paying mortgage, moving up the ladder, inheritances, just the normal stuff people use to move up?

OP maybe you’ll inherit your parents big house.

Meanwhile, my parents still live in the same house and refuse to down size.

Why should they downsize if they don’t want to? Who’s trying to make them? You, in the hope that they will give the money it frees up to your poor deprived kids?

Do your DC’s partners own a good salary OP?

YANBU. Some things [pre Covid anyway] are way better than they used to be. An obvious example is that foreign holidays, food, technology, all vastly more affordable than they used to be.

But housing, especially housing in big cities or des res hotpots, is obviously, obviously far less affordable than it once was. I've no patience at all for oldsters who deny this face-slappingly obvious fact.

YANBU, my FIL bought a terraced house in a very desirable UK city on a postman’s wage, it’s worth £700k now, no way a postie could afford it.

It's not uncommon really! Me and DP are both in what people might call "good" jobs bought a house a couple of years ago, it's a very small semi-detached house, it almost doesn't seem worth the mortgage we pay! I have a friend who is on her own and less of an income than me or DP and she bought a brand new build 4 bed detached house herself but she did receive quite an inheritance from her grandad. So your standard of housing is not always based off income now, it's other factors like receiving money/support from family etc

Why don’t you downsize OP?

I bought a nice house 5 years ago in my late 20's, it isn't impossible, especially if you say they're on good salaries.

Rather than a nice detached house in a good area, my kids are stuck in tiny one-two bed flats with enormous mortgages.

But at least they've managed to get on the property ladder? Many their age can't and possibly never will.

I'm older than your kids and live in a two bedroom at an age where my parents had long settled in a 4 bedroom house with a second property overseas and two cars. But we have totally different needs and a 4 bed house would be inappropriate for my circumstances.

Are your kids happy with their current lot?

You can make any house or flat ‘nice’ with your own taste in fittings and furnishings. Size isn’t everything - as long as everyone has somewhere suitable to cook, eat and sleep, then what’s the issue?

At late 20s DH and I had only just met, it was another 5 years before we bought our own modest first little house. By early to mid-40s we had bought our current house, four beds and a nice garden, which we will stay in because it has everything we need - space for an office each, a bedroom and a spare room. This was only 8 years ago, by the way, so not the dark ages.

They will move up the ladder as prices continue to climb. They are in a much more fortunate position than very many others of their age.

Are you sure they’re actually earning a ‘good salary’?
30K isn’t a good salary it’s the average household income. Unless they want to live in central London you could afford a one/two bed on that salary on the outskirts or in other city centres say Manchester.

DPs didn't buy their first house (3 bed semi in 'cheap' part of UK) until they were in their forties. We bought when we were early and late twenties and could only afford to buy because the house was practically a ruin (luckily, DH was in building trade so we were able to do major renovations ourselves - actually, not luckily, he worked incredibly hard on very low wages during his apprenticeship and worked evenings and weekends to enable us to get on the housing ladder.)

2 x dnephews both bought within a year of leaving uni, not in SE England but within 30 minutes commute of Edinburgh, so not a cheap part of the country. One lived with DPs while saving hard, the other lived in house share. So it's definitely possible to get on the property ladder at a young age.

As for living standards having dropped since the eighties.......aye, right.

Give them your inheritance when your parents die

*FYI by ‘good’ I took it to mean above average.
These days you can’t buy a house on one salary but that’s also because mortgages are based on a dual income. I’d rather it this way than 50% of the working population SAH as the norm.
People have mentioned other issues like a lack of housing stock etc but the above also a factor.

Maybe they're happy living in their flats.

What part of the country do your children live in?
Because London and South East are just extortionate now but there are vibrant other parts of the country with good jobs. The youngsters will be flocking there.

Won't you inherit the big detached house from your parents? And in return your dcs will inherit it and your (?detached) house from you?

If I compare against my parents (one of whom did the same job as dd), when they were in their late 20s they could afford to buy a nice detached house and send me and my siblings away to school.

I don't know how old your parents are but they seem to have been extremely privileged, I can only imagine they were solicitors or something - also that they (unlike the Vast majority) went to university.
I think it's a bit more that your DPs were from rich families and got degrees (unusual) and well paid jobs (limited then ime).
So DPs seem exceptional.

Have to say OP, you've highlighted part of the problem. Asset hoarding of large properties and refusing to downsize by older people causes inflation lower down in the market due to a lack of suitable stock, and entrenches wealth disparities - as well as being morally wrong, and often impractical in lifestyle terms leading to earlier hospital admission and even death among those who insist on staying in a property unsuited to their needs.