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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU- Fellow school mum drives every morning

437 replies

Mybumlooksbig · 13/01/2022 11:36

So..hope this doesn't out me.
We live in a very small close knit area. All kids attend the same school, lots of us live on the same few streets.
Every morning and pick up we ALL walk the kids to school, bar the few who have to rush off to work etc (it's a 5-10 min walk)
One parent on my street... drives! Big 4x4, she has NEVER once walked her DS.
She doesn't work, no where to rush off to. She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child..
Why does this iritate me so much??

Yabu- live and let live
Yanbu- she should be walking

OP posts:
Longdistance · 13/01/2022 12:22

MYOB. She could be working from home. Get a hobby or a job yourself.

godmum56 · 13/01/2022 12:22

@Mybumlooksbig
"She is. She's very "Amanda Motherland" so if there was a genuine problem as to why she couldn't walk trust me we would know confused"

you don't know this. Stop being a Judgy McJudgepants and get a life

SoupDragon · 13/01/2022 12:23

I think I'd drive if it meant avoiding the judgemental, gossipy cliques!

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 12:23

Driving a big car when you could walk is harming others

Right. And so is at least one thing that you, and all of us, do, I'm sure.

There is not one of us who isn't contributing to pollution & climate change whether it's a meat-lover vs vegetarian, someone having 6 children vs none, someone installing solar panels vs using conventional heating.

You can go on & on. It's a ridiculous argument.

Icantrememberthenameoftheartis · 13/01/2022 12:23

I have two neighbours who do this! We live a 10 min max walk from the school and they drive everyday to drop off and pick up. I don’t understand it. They could walk! Why would you want to faff about trying to find somewhere to park? It’s chaos near the school every morning. A brisk walk twice a day is enjoyable, to me anyway.

lollipoprainbow · 13/01/2022 12:23

Maybe she's shy, depressed ? Maybe she doesn't want to walk with everyone else?

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 13/01/2022 12:23

Valenciaoranges it's nothing like a gym class - those who drive to and park at school make it less safe for the children who walk.

SituationCritical · 13/01/2022 12:24

I didn't feel the need to announce my DS autism to a bunch of casual acquaintance school mums that I nodded to every morning on my way out of the playground. I'm sure there was a lot of speculation about why he was laying on the floor screaming and why he was in and out of school for weeks at a time. Funnily enough, some people don't feel the need to advertise their entire life to a bunch of nosy parkers with nothing better to do. You wouldn't know I suffer from severe anxiety and depression and have been suicidal, most people think I'm confident and happy....because its none of their business. Maybe she's lazy. Maybe she's not. If it bothers you so much maybe ask her rather than discussing it behind her back on your walk in (don't say you haven't, I'd put money on it being a topic of discussion). Ask if she wants to walk in with you. She might tell you why she doesn't want to or she might just carry on. The school run is shit for some people, you only have to read on here, it's a popular post topic.

WetLookKnitwear · 13/01/2022 12:24

Aaaand this is why people don’t like living in “small, close-knit” areas.

Although I agree driving such a small distance is bad for a number of reasons, mind your own business.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 12:25

A brisk walk twice a day is enjoyable, to me anyway.

Me too.

But clearly, not to them. It's their choice.

Undoubtedly things I do perplex other people & they'd make different choices. It's like we're, I dunno, individuals with different preferences or something. 😐

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 12:25

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

Valenciaoranges it's nothing like a gym class - those who drive to and park at school make it less safe for the children who walk.
Of course they don't. Providing they drive & park safely.
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 13/01/2022 12:28

EarringsandLipstick of course they do! More parked cars near school reduce visibility for children crossing the road, more traffic on the roads near school also increases the risk, parents in a rush because they've left late often do park and drive away dangerously.

DreamerSeven · 13/01/2022 12:28

@Mybumlooksbig

So..hope this doesn't out me. We live in a very small close knit area. All kids attend the same school, lots of us live on the same few streets. Every morning and pick up we ALL walk the kids to school, bar the few who have to rush off to work etc (it's a 5-10 min walk) One parent on my street... drives! Big 4x4, she has NEVER once walked her DS. She doesn't work, no where to rush off to. She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child.. Why does this iritate me so much??

Yabu- live and let live
Yanbu- she should be walking

Maybe she’s keen to avoid judgey people like you
ImaginaryCat · 13/01/2022 12:29

I'm really surprised by the number of people on this thread who seem to think driving such a short distance to school is fine.
We have an environmental issue exacerbated by car usage.
We have a childhood obesity problem and a generation of kids who don't exercise enough.
Roads around schools are fucking death traps, with regular near misses.
How on this bloody planet are so many of you this blasé about people driving 3 streets to drop kids at school!!!!!
I'm with you OP. The parents who do it at our village primary are dickheads. And don't try telling me they've all got hidden disabilities, because that would mean NHS statistics are totally out of synch with my area!

FreedomFaith · 13/01/2022 12:29

This thread is such good proof for the next climate change thread for why we are too selfish to change.

PinchOfVom · 13/01/2022 12:30

@RomeoMcFlourish

Also an IBD sufferer, some days my feet are so painful that every step feels like I’m standing and walking barefoot on jagged rocks, even when I’m wearing super comfortable shoes. Would any of the other school mums know that about me? Of course they wouldn’t, they’d have no idea. She might also have something wrong that she had no desire to disclose to you. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to walk. None of your business is it, though? Keep your judgements to yourself.
@RomeoMcFlourish

I’m really curious to read that

I have chronic plantar fasciitis and also bowel issues

What’s the link?

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 12:30

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

EarringsandLipstick of course they do! More parked cars near school reduce visibility for children crossing the road, more traffic on the roads near school also increases the risk, parents in a rush because they've left late often do park and drive away dangerously.
Again, missing the point. It doesn't do any of the above if they drive & park safely.

Is it better if as many children & parents walk to school, as possible? Yes it is.

Is it a crime or worthy or scorn & commentary if individual families don't make that choice? No, it isn't.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 13/01/2022 12:31

often drive my DS to school when he could walk as sometimes he gets anxious and me taking him helps and he doesn't get so stressed getting ready. I go straight to work after (also walking distance!) and don't have a 4x4 though so maybe that's ok. 0bviously it could just be laziness but you never really completely know anyone's circumstances.

SockFluffInTheBath · 13/01/2022 12:31

@FreedomFaith

This thread is such good proof for the next climate change thread for why we are too selfish to change.
It’s really not, it’s one woman driving and a bored housewife wondering why.
Bettyboopawoop · 13/01/2022 12:31

Perhaps she suffers anxiety? Or perhaps a hidden disability that she does not talk about? If that's all that you have to worry about in life think yourself thankful for having a wonderful life.

ecoanxiety · 13/01/2022 12:31

yanbu I was dropped off to school despite having the same post code it was so close!
I see lots of parents driving their children who live close. a 5/ 10 minute walk isn't that far.
My parents live a 3 minute walk to the shop. They park across the road and it takes longer to cross the road (traffic) than walk to the shop, but they still drive. It is selfish and it should be called out.
It is lazy. Perhaps you could chat to her and offer to walk to school together in the mornings?

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 12:32

I'm really surprised by the number of people on this thread who seem to think driving such a short distance to school is fine.

I don't think anyone has said this

They've said there may be a reason that the judgey OP is unaware of.

Some of us have also commented that while it mightn't be our choice, it's also not our place to judge.

Shmithecat2 · 13/01/2022 12:32

I live 1.2 miles from ds' school. I also have a 4x4. I don't work. I could walk it I suppose. But I just don't want to.

RisingSunn · 13/01/2022 12:33

I think you should mind your own business.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 12:33

@FreedomFaith

This thread is such good proof for the next climate change thread for why we are too selfish to change.
No it's not.

Of course driving less is better.

So is reducing waste, consuming less meat, buying locally, having fewer children, and so on.

One action around driving to school is not linked with the catastrophic issues of climate change.

Such stupid comments about climate change.

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