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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU- Fellow school mum drives every morning

437 replies

Mybumlooksbig · 13/01/2022 11:36

So..hope this doesn't out me.
We live in a very small close knit area. All kids attend the same school, lots of us live on the same few streets.
Every morning and pick up we ALL walk the kids to school, bar the few who have to rush off to work etc (it's a 5-10 min walk)
One parent on my street... drives! Big 4x4, she has NEVER once walked her DS.
She doesn't work, no where to rush off to. She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child..
Why does this iritate me so much??

Yabu- live and let live
Yanbu- she should be walking

OP posts:
whatkatydid2013 · 14/01/2022 13:54

Honestly think it would make a huge difference if they did that thing where they close the road the school is on temporarily at drop off and pick up. Virtually all parents who drive the kids to our school do it because it’s more convenient for them than walking. I don’t blame them for it as everyone takes the convenient option in life at least some (if not most) of the time. Problem is the streets schools are on usually have very limited parking so you end up with people who are running late parking badly & often dangerously. There have been some near misses outside our school where people pull onto pavements to park as there is already someone parked on opposite side of a narrow street. If you closed off the immediate area for 20 minutes either end of the day it would have minimal impact to drivers, would make it seem less worth bothering to drive for pick up if close by & would reduce the risk of someone managing to kill or seriously injure their kids friends. I can’t imagine how awful it would be if you were the parent who knocked down another kid in your child’s class or their parent/sibling.

Lou98 · 14/01/2022 14:07

@whatkatydid2013 genuine question though, what about people who medically can't walk their kids to school and need to drive them? Is there a way around that?

Definitely a good idea in theory but I would worry about people who genuinely couldn't walk them and the kids aren't old enough to walk themselves from the car

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/01/2022 14:12

Wish I could have driven to school instead of dealing with DD2 kicking off and DD1 mithering around every single bloody morning.

Didn't matter how much I tried, at some point one would kick off over something and one would choose a time to stare vacantly into space, usually when I was trying to deal with the other one kicking off. Or after that was resolved and we seemed to be back on track - that was also a favourite time to decide to have a think.

Had I been able to drive them, at least I would have been spared the deliberate 2mm long steps, the stopping to cry because it was too early/too late/they were expected to put one foot in front of the other/the decision to suddenly sprint off into the woodland/falling to the ground screaming because I held a hand, everything going fine until the very last second when there was a raging refusal at the gates because - well, I have no fucking idea other than the days when it was because we were late because she'd made us late and then didn't want to go in late but didn't want to go home - and everything else they did between them almost every single bloody morning of Primary school.

I can see why somebody would decide that it just wasn't worth the hassle and put them in a car instead.

RegardingMary · 14/01/2022 14:14

What a gem you are, you have no idea what's actually going off and why she drives.

Unless she runs you over one morning I don't see how her driving is any of your business. It sounds like you're very privileged if this is all that you've got to worry about.

AsYouWishButtercup · 14/01/2022 14:16

How embarrassing for you that you even notice this, let alone get so upset by it

AsYouWishButtercup · 14/01/2022 14:17

And actually OP YOU sound like the Amanda here, Queen bee noticing who walks, having a little walking clique and sticking your beak in other people’s business.

Can’t imagine why this woman doesn’t want to walk with you 😂

Momicrone · 14/01/2022 14:46

Aswithyou that's a pretty mean thing to say just because op notices someone driving

Momicrone · 14/01/2022 14:49

Lou98- for schemes like 'school streets' where the road is shut to cars for an hour at drop off and an hour at pick-up, people with additional needs are allowed to drive, which is a win win for everyone, well most anyway

Lou98 · 14/01/2022 15:21

@Momicrone ah I see, that is good then! It's not something I'd heard of before so was just curious how it worked

Momicrone · 14/01/2022 15:49

Yes they're great, the streets outside schools are full of kids and parents without having to worry about getting run over or fumes. It's really improved life

Brindle88 · 14/01/2022 16:15

How do you know she has no health issues?

For all you know she could have chronic fatigue or chronic pain. Neither would be visible.

Even if it’s just laziness, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

Booksandwine80 · 14/01/2022 16:32

@Momicrone

I’ve never heard of this, what happens if you live on that street? Can you still not get access at certain times?

ArcheryAnnie · 14/01/2022 22:50

Its not stickybeaking not to want your kid to choke on fumes, or have to dodge massive cars on their way to school.

Other people's choices have an effect on our lives. Its OK to have opinions about that.

What is "embarrassing" are the number of people in this thread who think that the best way to live is as a little, selfish island, concerned only with your own comfort and convenience.

ForcedOut123 · 14/01/2022 23:02

Ha ha, I think you must live near me!!

RedpepperRisotto · 14/01/2022 23:08

She is. She's very "Amanda Motherland" so if there was a genuine problem as to why she couldn't walk trust me we would know

I think the answer is contained here "we would know ". It'll probably be the awful "we" clique. That's the worst of school gate culture. Those mums , you can spot them a mile off. Probably using her 4x4 as a getaway vehicle.

Normandy144 · 14/01/2022 23:20

Totally agree with you OP. I live half a mile from school and it takes 10 minutes to walk. I know people who drive it and can't believe how lazy they are. Not great for the environment at all. Hugely wasteful.

Chimley · 14/01/2022 23:51

Honestly? If I felt like there was something I should do about it then I would do it (e.g. parking on zig zags). But choosing to drive? Her choice.

SoupDragon · 15/01/2022 09:01

@Momicrone

Aswithyou that's a pretty mean thing to say just because op notices someone driving
just because op notices someone driving and bitches about it and insults her on a social media site 🤷🏻‍♀️
Stokey · 15/01/2022 09:31

[quote Booksandwine80]@Momicrone

I’ve never heard of this, what happens if you live on that street? Can you still not get access at certain times?[/quote]
@Booksandwine80 people who live in the street are exempt as are blue badge holders. Lots of the schools where I live have them now and it has made it far more pleasant to walk to school without jostling for space on the streets. Good for pollution too.

OP I'm with you assuming no disabilities. We've had loads of measures put in where I live (London) to discourage people driving for short journeys. Our school catchment is less than half a mile so almost everyone should be capable of walking. If we want to try and save the planet and our children's lungs, discouraging unnecessary car journeys is a good start.

ArialAnna · 15/01/2022 09:55

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. I feel the same irritation myself seeing the busy congested road outside my son's school, everyone blocking the road trying to park in a free space, etc. Yes, some of those parents might have a necessary and valid reasons for doing so, but statistically it's very unlikely that all of them do! Some of them are just lazy. But as my son has asthma, air pollution is a particular anxiety inducer for me.

Momicrone · 15/01/2022 10:28

Soupdragon, the difference is that the poster's comment was a direct personal attack on the op who may very well read it or not. The op, on the other hand, is talking about someone not directly involved in this discussion, so it's not a personal attack. Mumsnet is full of people letting off steam about situations they can often do nothing about. I think it's pretty mean to make direct personal attacks on posters on the thread itself.

DoubleShotEspresso · 15/01/2022 18:01

@orinocosfavoritecake

Yanbu. She’s putting other people’s children in danger, worsening air quality and making the school run less pleasant for everyone else.
What an over the top ridiculous comment!
Momicrone · 15/01/2022 18:03

It's neither over the top or ridiculous, its spot on.

gorseinonn22 · 15/01/2022 18:07

A £10 a day congestion charge outside schools, with exemptions for the parents of SN children, would soon reduce the numbers of cars. Also would probably improve the health of parents.

As for 4x4 cars, I would require you to take your test again in one before you can drive them. Or have a smaller car. I expect the latter option would be taken up by many people.

AgrippinaT · 15/01/2022 18:11

Maybe she genuinely, and utterly just can't be arsed to walk. Which is fine.

Life is annoying as it is; let her have this small respite!